The Best Season of The Bachelor EVER

Last night I went against all I believe in and watched 2 hours of The Bachelor. Oh heavens… I don’t want to judge the ladies but they’re competing for a man’s approval and affection… *vomit* Most of these women are successful and smart and working on long-term careers… but they’ve decided the best way to find love is on national television in a house full of other women. Sure, ok……

I digress. The point of this post is to cast what I believe to be the most awesome & entertaining version of The Bachelor. My contestants come from TV and movies- so think the character, not the actress! (Hulu has already made a scripted comedy of this show called Burning Love. It’s pretty funny.)

Alright, here we go:

The Bachelor: The Ultimate Season of Entertainment Love

In this season of The Bachelor, 15 women will compete for the love of one man in hopes of true love and a huge meaningful wedding ring.

Let’s meet our bachelor:

Jim Halpert (The Office) is a paper salesman in Pennsylvania. He’s looking for a clever, strong, confident woman to share his life with. Jim doesn’t care for drama or gossip, but does enjoy occasionally pranking those he cares about most. (I don’t want to start a scandal… for the sake of entertainment there’s no Pam in the picture.)

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Introductions (episode 1):

Let’s start with some fan favorites. Finally fed up with the president, Olivia Pope (Scandal) is first to step out of the horse-drawn carriage and meet the bachelor. Her fellow ABC sister Emily Throne (Revenge) is next up to meet Jim. He wonders if there will be any curvy ladies or if 120 pounds is the cut-off for his season, too. His question is answered when Megan (Bridesmaids) steps out of the carriage and plants a kiss right on his lips. Bold, but he likes it.

Next the carriage full of “bad girls” pulls up. Jim notices that the horses are covered in leather and spikes. Out steps Nancy Callahan (Sin City), Jessica Rabbit (Who Framed Roger Rabbit), and Scarlett O’Hara (Gone With the Wind). Jim worries how all the girls will get along, but when Jessica Rabbit stuffs a pair of lacy undergarments into his front pocket he forgets what show he’s on and nearly faints. The three girls make their way straight to the bar.

When Olivia Benson (Law & Order: SVU) introduces herself as a detective and Erin Brockovich ( … Erin Brockovich) mentions her law career, Jim wonders if their presence might force the other ladies to behave. He hopes not.

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The fourth carriage is filled with hormones; Bridget Jones (Bridget Jone’s Diary) and Dr. Mindy Lahiri (The Mindy Project) emerge. They’re both crying and quoting “Sleepless in Seattle.” The girls almost blow right by the bachelor, but upon noticing him become tongue tied and flustered. They both over-share and have to be escorted into the house by crew members. Jim is fairly positive he knows who is going home first. He’s met 10 girls and already has favorites. [What a jerk. How dare he make judgements based on a first impression. How absurd is that?!]

Jim’s confidence is shaken when a blue shape-shifter named Mystique (X-Men) steps out of carriage five. Jim finds the mutant incredibly attractive, but… she’s blue. Sharing his same strange disgust is Rachel Berry (Glee) who had been forced to ride with the unusual creature. Jim welcomes both girls, then questions the camera man on where the network found these contestants.

Last but not least, a final carriage approaches the mansion and three “normal” women introduce themselves to Jim. Nurse Ann Perkins (Parks & Rec) compliments his suite and he’s reminded of an old girlfriend. Though Emma Swan‘s bounty hunting profession concerns him (Once Upon a Time), Jim is charmed when Emma gushes about her son Henry back home. Last but not least, Jess Day (New Girl) introduces herself and Jim is immediately lost in her (gigantic) eyes.

. . .

In the first few weeks we are forced to say “goodbye” to some of the ladies.

Episode 2: Jim makes the girls sit down with a therapist. He would prefer his wife be sane. This “date” sends three ladies home… We wave farewell to Bridget, Emily (she KILLED people), and Rachel.

Episode 3: During “Fashion Week” Jim stages a bikini fashion show. This week Jessica Rabbit received the first rose and Mystique is sent home. (As shallow as it is, Jim just can’t get past the whole blue skin thing.) We also see Olivia P. and Scarlett leave after failing to prove chemistry with our bachelor. (The remaining girls breathe a sigh of relief as Scarlett exits the mansion… She was not very nice.)

Episode 4: In this season two women decide to send themselves home. Emma and Erin miss their children terribly and say goodbye. Jim understands completely, but he’s sad to see Emma go.

Episode 5: When Jessica is caught in a compromising act with a crew member Jim is forced to go through hidden camera footage. This results in Nancy’s departure (stealing) and Megan’s dismissal (biting the butts of other women). Obviously Jessica Rabbit is sent packing, as well.

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Episode 6: With two weeks left, Jim sits down with Mindy, Ann, Jess, & Olivia B. He tells the girls that they’re all going to Hawaii! When Mindy reacts with minimal excitement, she’s sent packing.

Episode 7: In Hawaii Jim has a one-on-one date with Olivia B. After 5 minutes the pair realize they have nothing in common. [How the heck did she get so far in the competition?!] Olivia flies back to the states and we start into the finale with Jess and Ann.

Finale: Jim asks Jess if he can practice a proposal on her and she says yes, hoping it’s actually the real deal. Turns out it was just practice and Jim chooses Ann (but not before accidentally calling her Karen).

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Three days before the “after show” Jim and Ann break up (shocker). Also, it’s announced that Jess Day will be the next bachelorette.

. . .

Did your favorite woman win? You would you pair up with Jim?

Now for the Bachelorette version.

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Promises to My “Adult” Best Friends

First and foremost, best friends are awesome. Some lucky folks have had their best friends for decades and some people find their (friendship) soul mates later in life. It doesn’t matter where you found them, it just matters that you get each other and you’d do anything for one another.

All the lists I read regarding best friends and being loyal include things like:

– I will tell you when he is bad idea
– I will hold your hair back in the basement of any fraternity
– I will help you study until 3am in the lonely library

These are awesome friendship qualities when you’re getting through college or thoroughly “enjoying” your twenties, but what about your adult BFF?

Here’s my adult edition…

1. I promise to always answer your text/call/email/Facebook comment…eventually
I might not get to it until I clock out. I might have passed out at 8:30pm and I’ll reply at 6am as I start the shower. It may take 2 days, but I will respond.

2. I promise to make time for Girls’ Night
We might have to reschedule if your kid gets sick or your husband has the night off, but we will meet and enjoy wine and binge on nachos and complain about husbands/boyfriends/people.

3. I will never judge your martial/relationship problems
Speaking of men… I will never ever judge your weird sex stories or commitment doubts. I WILL offer advice and let you know if I think you’re making a bad decision or I think you are in harm’s way… but I will only tell you these things because I love you and I want you to be happy in the end.

4. I will hate your ex with you
This is totally petty, but I will hate on your ex with you. I will ignore him in public and shoot him the same dirty looks I perfected in the halls of high school. Additionally, I will hate on your significant other’s ex with you because sometimes you just need to hate on someone.

5. I will always pass on “good things” to you
If I read a good book or make a good dinner or stumble upon a good blog I promise to pass it on to you.

6. I will go with you
This is an important one- Of course I will go shopping with you or to the movies, but I will also come with you to an exercise class or awkward family function or scary doctor appointment. All you have to do is ask and we can down a bottle of wine and face it together.

7. I will harass you
Thinking about getting a dog from a breeder? I will harass you so much about not adopting. Did you cry for no reason on New Years Eve when the ball dropped? Yep, you’re never living that down. I am harassing you because I love you (and I expect to get it back) and I know you can take it because you’re a tough cookie.

8. I will visit you and/or keep in touch- no matter where we end up
Technology makes it kind of easy, but I will also strive for face-to-face visits, too.

9. I will love your children
When we get to the point of having babies just know that I will always love your offspring. I will babysit for free, shower them with birthday gifts, and take them to the zoo. I love you and they are a part of you. I will never put your kid down or judge your baby names or scold you for formula feeding. I will offer advice but I will always respect your decisions.

10. When things get bad you can lean on me
As we age, so do those around us. When your spouse gets sick or your family members pass away I will be there for you to talk with or cry to. If divorce happens I will stand by your side and coach you through. If your child gets hurt I will do everything I can to help you. Good, bad, easy, hard- I’ll be there.

I have several friends in mind as I type and read over my list. How blessed I am to have friends that would return each and every promise ❤

 -Louise

 

My Best Friend Had a Baby

When I see this quote it reminds me of my best friends, Erica & Nic:

Elliot 1

Erica and Nic planned for their baby. Erica has Type 1 diabetes, so they knew the path might be a little bumpy, but they were ready to be parents.

Click the picture for my post on the baby shower!
Click the picture for my post on the baby shower!

Yesterday, at 11:36 am, I received a text from Erica:
Her water had broken and she was settled in at the hospital. She told me not to rush- it would probably be a while until baby arrived- but K and I were welcome to drive up whenever we wanted.

I think it’s safe to say I freaked out.
Actually… that’s an understatement. I called K and told him that I was unavailable all day and I would be making one last baby-related shopping trip and then booking it to the hospital. Then I called my mom because I always call my mom when I’m excited.
Mom told me to cool it. This was actually good advice. I was ready to jump out a window and run to the hospital.

Enzo and I SnapChat-ed Erica!
Enzo and I SnapChatted Erica

K and I decided to run the errands that we had planned and then we’d head to the hospital. I might have annoyed him a bit because the only thing I could talk about all day was babies. Oops!

We finished our jobs and I stopped by Nic and Erica’s house to feed their three kitties. FINALLY it was time for us to join the family at the hospital. (Still no baby!)

We arrive around 5:45pm. Erica’s mom and dad, brother and brother’s girlfriend, and aunt and three cousins were waiting in the hall. Nic’s brother and sister-in-law were also there. We joined everyone and waited (un)patiently to hear a cry (and/or kidnap a nurse for information). Just after 6pm some of the equipment came out of the room and we were told there was a baby. (The messenger was smiling, so we weren’t fearful about complications.)

Just after 6:30 “DAD” emerged from the delivery room and delivered (get it?) the news.

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GRANDPA is in the light blue, GRANDMA is in pink, and UNCLE is in red…

Elliot Rose arrived at 6:05 pm. Six pounds, eight ounces. Eighteen inches and a full head of hair.
We also learned that Erica’s sugar was normal and had been under control the whole time, so she was feelin’ great!

Yay! A healthy, happy, baby!
Yay! A healthy, happy baby (& mom)!

Then it was back to the waiting room until visitors were permitted in.

Of course grandma, grandpa, and uncle went in first!
Eventually we all made our way in to see Erica and Elliot.

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I have a very cute picture of DAD and MOM as Elliot is being passed around, but I swore I wouldn’t put up any pictures of Erica… kinda.

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I’m about to break the rules because I LOVE this picture…

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MOM watches as DAD helps GRANDMA with Ellie’s hat

By 9:30 pm we all had gotten a chance to see Elliot and talk with Nic and Erica. The family started to say their goodbyes and K went to get some pizza for the new parents.

Once Ellie had been fed a second time (successfully! – Go, Erica!) it was finally my turn to cuddle the little peanut. When K got back he took a turn with her, too.

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Is there anything cuter than a grown man cuddling a baby? (The answer is “no.”)

I can’t explain the joy that Elliot has already brought to Nic and Erica’s family. The love between DAD and MOM is so strong and the indescribable joy on Grandma and Grandpa’s faces was almost more than I could handle. This baby is a very, very loved and wanted baby.

Personally, the happiness that flooded my body when I cuddled the little lady was incredible. It’s crazy to know that K and I will get to watch her grow and learn and struggle and succeed. I’m so honored to be an honorary “aunt.”

Congratulations, Nic and Erica! You guys are so lucky and definitely in for a lifetime of happiness!

-Louise

 

The Importance of Waiting

*This is not a post about abstinence*

My husband and I have been married for 1 year and 9 months (almost). We’ve been together for over 7 years. In that time we’ve learned a lot about each other, but something has come to light after serious self-reflection: We (or maybe I) tend to rush things.

Things we did not rush:
– our relationship (dated 6 months before making it official)
– our engagement (we dated 4 years before he popped the question)
– our wedding (we were engaged for a year and a half)

As far as our relationship, we waited until we were ready for each step.

This cannot be said for our actions as a couple…

Things we might have rushed:
– buying a house
– changing careers
– adopting a puppy (**Enzo is the PERFECT dog for us, but we adopted him in winter- potty training was a nightmare)
– taking a huge vacation

Before I go on, it’s important to mention that I have no regrets whatsoever. I love our house, K is so happy working for himself, and Jamaica was a blast. Also, my life would be so sad and love-less without my Enzo.

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12.07.2013

Everything that has happened to us has been a blessing… but if we had spaced it out a little better we might be a little less stressed. Our mortgage is high, Kyle’s career has its ups and downs, and Jamaica hit the budget hard. I think K and I are both learning some patience.

Then again…. life is an adventure 🙂

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My new years resolution was/is to not wish my days away. Honestly, I’m doing pretty good.

But this is a different kind of “wishing.” I can’t wait to build our dream house. I can’t wait to visit Seattle, WA and cruise around Alaska. I can’t wait to have kids and raise them with my favorite human being. I just can’t wait. But I will wait.

They say you’re never really ready (financially, mentally, physically, etc.) and I totally believe that, but someday we’ll be ready for a change, or an addition, or a break from it all. Until then I have no problem enjoying what I’ve got, who I’m with, and where I’ve been.

Tomorrow’s always a new day!

-Louise

My Best Friend’s Baby

My new favorite baby is due on February 9th. Her parents, Nic & Erica, just happen to be our best friends. This is their first baby and they are going to be such amazing parents! We are 1 month and 3 days away from the arrive of their new nugget and just less than a month ago Erica had her baby shower.

Erica’s shower was themed:

Erica is About to POP!

Invite
Invitation

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Welcome Sign
Welcome Sign

We decorated with balloons and popcorn bags, and served popcorn, cake pops, snap-crackle-POP rice crispy treats, and popcorn-themed cupcakes! We also had veggies, croissant sandwiches, and fruit bowls.

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Balloon

The day before the shower we met at Erica’s parents’ house to organize the decorations and make the snacks. Between her mom, aunts, cousins, and friends, Erica & Nic have an incredible support system.

Cousin, Aunt, & Mom
Cousin, Aunt, & Mom

Erica and I slaved over cake pops (which we gave out as favors), but the most tedious task was the popcorn cupcakes.

Cake pop

We cut the marshmallows, stuck them to the cupcakes with icing, and then sprayed an edible yellow coloring over the finished products.

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The first step was to cut an “X” into mini-marshmallows.

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Our popcorn cupcakes!
Our popcorn cupcakes!

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Dessert table

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Punch & water

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Popcorn table: butter, white chocolate hull-less, white cheddar, & chocolate-drizzled caramel corn.

We played three games before eating. The first game was a memorization game with a tray of baby objects. The second game was a POP Quiz about Erica, Nic, and pregnancy in general. The last game was a word scramble.

Scramble
Click on the picture to find your own printable games!

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Quiz

I didn’t get a picture of the trophies, but they were based on these Pinterest beauties:

My based was square and the bottles were painted gold, silver, and pink, then filled with candy.
My bases were square and the bottles were painted gold, silver, and pink, then filled with candy.

It was such a fun day and the new parents got so many adorable outfits and useful items!

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Erica & her mom, Paula
Erica & her mom, Paula

I am SO excited to meet their baby girl! Congratulations, Nic & Erica!

Erica

-Louise

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