Good Advice – Bad Advice: Marriage Edition


We have almost been married for two years (& together for 8!). This weekend I found myself taking advice that I’d been given at a bridal shower. This inspired me to revisit some of the advice I’d received and compare it to my marital experience thus far.


|1| Don’t Go to Bed Angry.
I think 85% of my guests gave us this advice. This is probably different for every couple, but sometimes we go to bed angry because we just need to sleep on it. K does this a lot and, though it used to drive me crazy, I know he just needs a break from the tension and he’ll be ready to accept my apology/apologize/just drop it in the morning.

|2| A King Size Bed Makes for a Happy Marriage.
This is the piece of advice K and I put into action this weekend! We are now proud owners of a fabulous king size bed and I am never going back! Of course, there are two dogs that still choose to lay across my legs, but at least we’re less crowded. K and I aren’t the snuggling type so we definitely appreciate some personal space.

|3| The First Year is the Hardest.
Some people said the first year with kids is the hardest, but I can’t attest to that. My guess is that the first year with kids is the most challenging because Year 1 was great! We struggled and learned how to live together and how to budget, but it was an incredible year! We took a honeymoon, bought a house, adopted a puppy! Every year is going to have its set of challenges, but Year 1 and 2 have been mostly enjoyable!

|4| Share Hobbies That You Both Enjoy.
For us, this depends on the hobby. Professionally, K and I don’t work well together. If one of us is “the boss” then the other is the defiant employee. Actually, I just hate being told what to do. We could build a birdhouse together, but I would have to be in charge (even though K would be the one that knows what to do). Call it a personal flaw… haha.

|5| Divide Up the Chores/Bills/Responsibilities Evenly.
This is probably good advice, but we don’t abide by it. Since K has been working on his business I take on a lot of the household and payment responsibilities. It works for us right now and someday, when the business runs like clockwork, we’ll re-divide and work it out.

What relationship/marital advice have you been given? Did you follow that advice? What would your advice be for a new couple?


4 Comments Add yours

  1. okay…that picture at the top is HILARIOUS! i totally love it. i really appreciate this article because not all advice is sound advice or works for our marriage!

    i like the point on housework and chores! there were times when i was in grad school and feeling swamped and my-then-fiance was totally in charge of cooking/cleaning/everything because i felt nuts. then i got laid off for a period of time so more responsibilities fell on me. it’s important to adjust as we go along, isn’t it?


    1. Louise says:

      Thanks, Chelsea! So many of our wedding pictures are just plain goofy! Haha! With Kyle putting so much time and effort into the business I definitely take on most of the housework, but if I have a huge project coming up or am just really stressed I usually come home to a cooked dinner or vacuumed house! It’s definitely important to adjust!


  2. Rachel G says:

    Being able to adjust to different schedules helps a lot! When I wasn’t working, I did all housework myself–but now my husband and I are both working, and we actually are both teaching at the same school, so he’s jumped into taking care of more housework, though I still keep my favorite chores (cooking, and, strangely, laundry).


    1. Louise says:

      That’s great that you guys split the chores, Rachel! I look forward to the day we’re at that point, haha! And I TOTALLY love laundry, too!! It’s my favorite task!


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