We have almost been married for two years (& together for 8!). This weekend I found myself taking advice that I’d been given at a bridal shower. This inspired me to revisit some of the advice I’d received and compare it to my marital experience thus far.
|1| Don’t Go to Bed Angry.
I think 85% of my guests gave us this advice. This is probably different for every couple, but sometimes we go to bed angry because we just need to sleep on it. K does this a lot and, though it used to drive me crazy, I know he just needs a break from the tension and he’ll be ready to accept my apology/apologize/just drop it in the morning.
|2| A King Size Bed Makes for a Happy Marriage.
This is the piece of advice K and I put into action this weekend! We are now proud owners of a fabulous king size bed and I am never going back! Of course, there are two dogs that still choose to lay across my legs, but at least we’re less crowded. K and I aren’t the snuggling type so we definitely appreciate some personal space.
|3| The First Year is the Hardest.
Some people said the first year with kids is the hardest, but I can’t attest to that. My guess is that the first year with kids is the most challenging because Year 1 was great! We struggled and learned how to live together and how to budget, but it was an incredible year! We took a honeymoon, bought a house, adopted a puppy! Every year is going to have its set of challenges, but Year 1 and 2 have been mostly enjoyable!
|4| Share Hobbies That You Both Enjoy.
For us, this depends on the hobby. Professionally, K and I don’t work well together. If one of us is “the boss” then the other is the defiant employee. Actually, I just hate being told what to do. We could build a birdhouse together, but I would have to be in charge (even though K would be the one that knows what to do). Call it a personal flaw… haha.
|5| Divide Up the Chores/Bills/Responsibilities Evenly.
This is probably good advice, but we don’t abide by it. Since K has been working on his business I take on a lot of the household and payment responsibilities. It works for us right now and someday, when the business runs like clockwork, we’ll re-divide and work it out.
What relationship/marital advice have you been given? Did you follow that advice? What would your advice be for a new couple?
4 Comments Add yours
okay…that picture at the top is HILARIOUS! i totally love it. i really appreciate this article because not all advice is sound advice or works for our marriage!
i like the point on housework and chores! there were times when i was in grad school and feeling swamped and my-then-fiance was totally in charge of cooking/cleaning/everything because i felt nuts. then i got laid off for a period of time so more responsibilities fell on me. it’s important to adjust as we go along, isn’t it?
Thanks, Chelsea! So many of our wedding pictures are just plain goofy! Haha! With Kyle putting so much time and effort into the business I definitely take on most of the housework, but if I have a huge project coming up or am just really stressed I usually come home to a cooked dinner or vacuumed house! It’s definitely important to adjust!
Being able to adjust to different schedules helps a lot! When I wasn’t working, I did all housework myself–but now my husband and I are both working, and we actually are both teaching at the same school, so he’s jumped into taking care of more housework, though I still keep my favorite chores (cooking, and, strangely, laundry).
That’s great that you guys split the chores, Rachel! I look forward to the day we’re at that point, haha! And I TOTALLY love laundry, too!! It’s my favorite task!