*cue Pocahontas singing here…*
So here’s an embarrassing story…
Once upon a time I was on a family vacation with my family and husband. My guess is we were headed to Tennessee for a NASCAR race, but it could’ve been our trip to the beach. The destination really isn’t important. Just know this was only a year or two ago…
Like all family vacations, we stopped at every rest stop. My father and husband have thimble size bladders. This was actually a conversation at a family dinner a few nights ago… Apparently my whole family is cursed with small bladders. Mine is a champ. But I digress.
So we stopped at one of these handy little concrete buildings and everyone did their business and climbed back into the car. My dad then tells this story while trying to hold back inappropriate giggles:
“So I went into the bathroom and this older gentleman in sweatpants was using the urinal and the poor guy’s rear end was hanging out of his pants. It was quite distracting. I hate when that happens.”
Everyone had a good laugh, self included. The car fell silent for a moment and then I made a comment along the lines that he was probably just old and couldn’t bend over to pull his pants down. Then everyone looked at me. Then all the men in the car lost it.
“Wait… you think men pee with their pants around their ankles?” asked my husband between gasps for air.
I didn’t reply.
“She does think that!” howled my Dad. My mom was now snorting in the front seat.
“Audrey, only little kids learning how to stand and go pull their pants to their ankles and hold their shirts up to their chin,” explained my brother once he could breathe again. “Guys just… they just unzip and go.”
And that’s when I learned how men pee. I was 23.
Quiet honestly, I still imagine that guys drop their pants and hold their shirts up. It just seems more logical.