In exactly six month K and I will travel to Columbus, Ohio to kick off the wedding celebration for my brother & his fiancee. In six months we will run through the whole ceremony and laugh about tripping down the aisle or crying through the vows and toast to the lovebirds at their rehearsal dinner. And then the next day I will watch my baby brother become a “husband.” (Excuse me for just a moment… my eyes started sweating suddenly.)
Before I got married I had 0 sisters. Right now I’m sitting pretty with two beautiful women to call “sis” thanks to K’s side of the family. In July my family gets to add to our mix. My parents get to become “in-laws” again and I will gained another sibling. For 21 years it was me and Fred so all these “new” siblings are quite a change.
But this wedding will be a little different for all of us. Like I said… it’s always been me and Fred. Always. In 2013 I changed that by marrying Kyle but nothing changed for Fred (except the addition of a brother). He was still just my brother. My brother. I didn’t have to share him. But in July my brother- my mom and dad’s son… their last unwed child- is going to become a husband. And a son-in-law. And a brother-in-law. And two families are going to be interconnected by one young couple. And it’s just a little weird for this big sister. But weird in a good way.
And here’s what my newest sister needs to know:
For a long time I didn’t know your name. I didn’t know what you would look like or what your interests would be. I didn’t know if you were a dog person or a cat person. I had no idea if you enjoyed movies or reading or art or theater.
But then my baby brother met you and fell very, very hard for you. And I finally met you! And now I know your name. And thank the heavens above: You are, in fact, a dog person ❤︎
For whatever reason you’ve decided to marry my quirky brother. He’s an odd bird, but that’s what makes him so darn special. He puts all his energy into his projects and focuses on something until it’s done. His Halloween costumes, jack-o-lantern carvings, engineering projects, and artistic designs alway come out just as he imagined. It’s a little annoying how good he is at creating his vision.
My brother is much more sensitive than I am. He has my dad’s passion and my mom’s reactions. I do, too, but my personality comes across differently. He’s quick to anger but also quick to cool off… He’s a very forgiving soul. That’s pretty rare.
My brother has always been the dependent one. I mean that in a good, trusting way. He wants to help others and isn’t afraid to ask for help. When I was a kid I avoided hugs and flinched at the touch of others, but my brother would crawl on my mom’s lap and cuddle for hours. He’s loyal and trusting and dedicated- you really can’t ask for much more in a husband.
My brother is an amazing friend. He doesn’t shy away from uncomfortable situations and he’s bound and determined to do the right thing. I don’t need to tell you that he’s a God loving/fearing/worshiping man. You know that and you help him cultivate that love. He’s very, very fortunate to have a woman to grow with spiritually.
When we were kids we weren’t allowed to bring friends on vacation because we “had each other to play with and hang out with.” Some of my parents’ rules were stupid (like leaving your cell phone on the mantel… psht), but that was a good one. My brother was my best friend growing up and he still is. I can’t imagine my childhood without Fred.
And now he’s going to marry you and you’re going to marry him. So here’s some unsolicited advice from the older sibling who’s married:
Make conscious choices. Choose to say gentle words. Choose your tone. Choose communication and choose to turn the TV off sometimes and entertain one another with stories and jokes and recaps from your day. Choose to put God first and choose prayer. Choose together which family to visit and which vacations to take. Choose a dog together and choose which battles to fight and which flames to extinguish. And above all else, choose one other. Always, always, always choose one another. Often you will be faced with that choice; choose each other.
I love my little brother and I’m very, very happy to know you do, too. Savor every single moment of life together. I’m so happy our family is growing with you!
-Your newest sister! ❤︎
18 Comments Add yours
This is beautiful! I feel the same way for my sister’s (being the oldest). One of my sisters is already married but I’m praying for the other two. Great post!!
Thanks, Matthew. Our family really is gaining an incredible person 🙂
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this is so sweet, and exactly what I hope for my future sister in law. I have three sisters, but only one brother, and the idea of finding someone that will fit with us crazy girls seems impossible. but one day, she’ll get here, and I hope to feel the way you do about your future SIL!
I love that there are 5 of you. Sometimes my mom tells me that she wishes they would have had more kids (probably because their daughter turned out so awesome…). I’m glad that my brother and have both married/will marry people that fit in so well with the family. I loved having my brother as a groomsman in our wedding, and K and I will both get to stand up with my brother & Christina for their wedding! ❤
awwww this made me all teary-eyed!!!! you’re such a great big sister and soon-to-be-SIL to her! beautifully said and written 🙂
Aww, shucks. I probably owe my brother a kind word or two for all the attitude I dished out in high school… haha. I’m so glad he brought home a woman who’s so easy to love and talk with! July will definitely be filled with celebration!
Aww this is so sweet! I didn’t grow up with a brother, but now have three brother in laws. I love how open you are about your relationship!
I was so happy to gain a sister when I married K (and then another this past Oct.!). It’ll be awesome to have another female along for family vacations and holidays with my side of the family!
This is just precious.
I’ve always said I’m so jealous of people that have sisters. I only have 1 brother… & when he got married, I was so hoping for a sister relationship… except she doesnt really relate to me much… sigh…
& my husband has 3 sisters, but they’re all just so close with each other … so I’m on the outskirts of them all…
So I’m still hoping for a sister 🙂
My husband has an older sister and we clicked really well, so I’m grateful for her friendship. K’s brother got married this past Oct. and I gain another sister. All three of us are very different but both are easy to relate to. (Which I’m super thankful for because I don’t relate to girly things… haha.) My newest (soon-to-be) sister is very girly and sparkly, but she’s so easy to talk to and hang out with! I was/am very, very fortunate. I’m hoping for a sister for you, too! 🙂
This is so sweet! Our wedding weekend is the first time all of our siblings got together and I was so happy with how well they got along. It’s awesome when your family gains new members that fit so well together. 🙂
I agree! I love seeing our siblings (and friends) get along so well!! My brother is younger than me and K’s siblings are older so it;s really nice to see everyone get along, despite the huge age gaps!
This is utterly beautiful.
Thank you, Emma! My soon-to-be sister-in-law is utterly beautiful, too 🙂
I know this feeling. I was the eldest sibling, though my brother got married well before I did. I felt like I was losing my best friend. For awhile, I did. He threw himself into husbandhood and focused on being the best one he could. Then I moved away and suddenly he was the one feeling like he was losing his best friend. We are closer and our relationship is deeper now than it’s ever been. Sometimes when we’re so near, we take those moments for granted. When life and distance separate us, our hearts pull in a little closer. Congrats to your brother!
Aww, Kari! I’m so glad all the changes and moves have made you closer to your brother! I left for college almost 7 years ago and he’s been living 2 hours from home for the last 5 years, but we always spent summers together up until I got married. He and Christina will live 2 hours away once they’re married but I’m so glad for the relationship we have 🙂
This letter made me tear up. Your relationship with your brother makes me very jealous, and I hope he knows how lucky he is to have you. Congratulations on the new sister 🙂
Awww, thanks Kelsey! He was such a huge supporter and friend when I got married- I’m glad I can return the favor for him and such a wonderful woman 🙂