Cause and Effect

I’ve never done a post like this before, but I’m always saying these things so I figured it was a good blog topic. Some of these are outlandish and dramatic, but some are true.

cause_and_effect

IF: Donald Dump wins the election…
THEN: I’m invoking my Swiss citizenship and moving to the alps. I figure that turd-head is going to make anyone with dual citizenship pick a side anyway. You will never hear me utter the title President Tr*mp.

. . .

IF: The invitations for my future sister-in-law’s shower don’t show up soon…
THEN: I’m going to be one very unhappy party planner! The shower is a month from yesterday and the Type-A psycho inside of me wants to get those invites sent!

. . .

IF: A transgender person uses the bathroom I’m using…
THEN: I’ll politely smile at them in the mirror and go about my business. Because they’re a human using the bathroom, just like me.

(That’s all I’m saying on that topic.)

. . .

IF: I can’t figure out how to use all the make-up I ordered from Ulta…
THEN: I’m going to cry and cry and spend the entire weekend watching Youtubers apply foundation and eye brow gel stuff and eyeliner- and they’ll annoyingly get it right the first time like it’s the easiest thing in the world. #Grrr

. . .

IF: I don’t finish more than two books by the time my “book review” post is scheduled…
THEN: I might not post it because I’m so pathetic. Hahahaha… I like reading but my brain just won’t settle down & relax with a book. Ughhh. I’m currently involved in a reading challenge and I plan to join two more before the end of the month- because I’m a glutton for punishment, I guess.

. . .

IF: I suddenly came into lots and lots of money…
THEN: I’d pay off the debt, get a new car, and spend some serious cash at Rebecca Jo’s new Etsy shop!!

. . .

IF: I head to Columbus this weekend to attend “Fetch-A-Friend” with my best friend…
THEN: I might come home with a third dog…
BUT THEN: K swore he’d leave me if I brought one home. Decisions, decisions….

(KIDDING. I will use every fiber of my being to resist those cute wittle tiny fwuffy cuddly buns of fur.)

. . .

IF: K ever lifts the “Only Two Dogs At A Time” embargo…
THEN: I will run wild with my pack of +50 dogs and quit my job. Hahaha.

. . .

Alright, it’s getting weird now. What are your cause-and-effect statements?

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27 thoughts on “Cause and Effect

  1. You just put the biggest smile on my face today friend!!! You are just the sweetest!!! ❀

    & preach it about the transgender in the bathroom. I dont get the HUFF about it. Just go pee & leave. If you feel that unsafe in bathrooms, buy some Depends & move on with your life.

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    1. I have my eye on so many of your goodies!! πŸ™‚
      Ugh. The bathroom thing…. UGH. Like, if you’re a woman and you feel MOST threatened sharing the bathroom with someone who was born a man but identifies as a woman then you CLEARLY have never walked down the street past a group of men who identify as men that find it perfectly acceptable to cat-call and harass you. THAT is threatening to me- not some human peeing in a STALL next to me.

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    1. Shhhhhh… don’t let my husband hear you say that πŸ˜€ Honestly, he’s right. Our house is made for two humans and two dogs… but all bets are off if/when we upgrade to the countryside. Hehe.

      Then again, if I defect to Switzerland I’m adopting ALLLLL the dogs! (You can come visit! Haha!) St. Bernards for everyone!

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  2. You have duel citizenship?! I’ve never been so jealous. I can’t live here if that dirtbag is President. (I saw that there’s a dating site that connects Americans with Canadians so they can get married and move to Canada to avoid Trump. Hahahaha. If I weren’t married, it would be tempting.)

    The bathroom issue enrages me. I’ve unfriended two people on FB over it. #noregrets (Rebecca’s comment above CRACKED ME UP. Also love that you shouted out her Etsy shop!)

    Every time I see a cute dog I want it, but then I remember how much of a handful our two are and I’m like, “Well, IF I ever get a giant yard out somewhere where the neighbors can’t hear barking, THEN I’ll have a billion cute dogs.” Haha.

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    1. Yes ma’am! My duel citizenship is like the single coolest things about me. Hahaha. I claim no other fame πŸ˜€ (My maternal grandpa is the first American in his family and his parents were able to pass down their Swiss citizenship to him… which then went to my mom… then me.)

      So far only one of my FB friends has said anything about the bathrooms (re: Target) and I watched a lesbian put her in her place in the comments πŸ˜€ Ha! I didn’t unfriend the perpetrator but I refuse to like any of her stuff now.

      UGH. If I’m honest, our two dogs give me a run for my money… buuuuuut sometimes I’m weak and I feel like I need to save them all πŸ˜€ When we move to the country I’m going to start my dog pack for sure!

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  3. I didn’t know you could have dual citizenship anymore in the United States! During my citizenship ceremony, they said we all had to renounce our citizenship to our other country. Also, I would love to have multiple dogs! Chris is firmly against it with apartment living but maybe when we’re done with having to move for his job and have a house, he’ll be OK with it! Haha.

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    1. Other people have been surprised about my dual citizenship, too. I think that for some countries you’re not allowed? Either those countries don’t allow it or the US has a list of certain countries? I’m really not sure at all… I mean, I don’t do anything with the dual citizenship- both times I’ve been to Switzerland I’ve taken my passport. Haha!
      Apartment living would be rough with multiple dogs… and technically our house is at max capacity with two… but I’d been willing to squeeze another in πŸ˜‰

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  4. So jealous that you have TWO dogs! I’d be happy with just one but it would suck to have to walk up and down 4 flights of stairs with a dog so when we move, we’re going to make it happen!

    P.S. If Donald Trump becomes president feel free to claim refugee status here in Canada, you’ll just have to get used to our niceness.

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    1. Oooh, good to know I have the option of Canada πŸ˜‰ I hope you get to add a pup to your family soon! I guess we are pretty spoiled with two… haha. Although it’s TWICE the work. Hahaha!

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    1. Ha! We started with one… and then I convinced the husband that we needed two dogs πŸ˜€ I don’t think I’ll be as successful convincing him of three πŸ˜‰

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    1. RIGHT?! I honestly can’t figure it out. Honestly. I just don’t understand…
      And I’ve spent all weekend trying to figure out this make-up thing. Haha!

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    1. Thanks!
      That’s what I think, too!! I mean, yeah, sometimes my dogs annoy the life out of me… but I still love them 10xs more than most humans πŸ˜‰

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  5. There’s a different between one dog and two dogs. But my mom has gone back and forth between 1, 2, and 3 dogs my entire life and let me tell you – zero difference between two and three. Going from 1 to 2 is an adjustment, but going from 2 to 3? Barely notice.
    So…. get more dogs!!

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    1. Oh man… there was SUCH a difference between one dog and two. Ha! Especially since we got Ly when she was a year and a half old (and totally housebroken) and we got Enzo at 9 weeks. Then again, he watched Lylee and pick-up on what he was supposed to do, so training was a breeze. And they entertain each other when I’m being lazy. Ha.
      I’m going to show my husband this argument πŸ˜‰ I think it’s definitely in my favor. Hehe.

      Like

    1. Thanks!
      I know 😦 It’s so ridiculous… Not because I think human rights are ridiculous, but because I hate that a group of people are being targeted for no reason!

      Like

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