Before I launch into this I need to point out how weird the word “kinder” looks. Also, that’s the German word for “children” so that’s what I see when I read that title. All of this is 100% off topic. ALSO, I’m guest posting on Olya’s blog today! Go there next!!
I was commenting on a blog a few days ago and I thought to myself, “Wow, this is a really positive, encouraging comment. Go you!” (I swear I don’t have such confident, self-praising thoughts often.) The reason I took notice in my words and tone was because I haven’t always been an uplifting person. There’s always room for more improvement and I was never a Negative Nelly, but for a long time I was a Smug Sarcastic Susie.
I mean, I’m still sarcastic- that’s forever a part of me like my skin or eyelids or love for Harry Potter. But when you comment on a blog or share a post 97.8% of the time that author deserves genuine thoughts, praises, well-wishes, etc. There’s a time and a place for sarcasm (and I am always at that place during that time), but I have formed so many genuine, positive friendships with ladies via Blogland that I would have never sought out or nurtured like I do if it weren’t for this space here.
I’m now very conscious of what I say or type. I’ve never been an internet troll and as a human behind my blog I am fully aware that there are humans behind every blog. Most times I feel a sincere friendship with those humans. I don’t text any of those ladies (although if you’d like to be text-friends hit me up via email- I’m game!) but we SnapChat and comment on IG with one another, and daily things that remind me of certain bloggers compel me to tweet them thoughts and pictures throughout the week. I’ve also bounced blog and novel ideas off these ladies. I honestly didn’t think I’d find community here, but I have.
And it’s made me a kinder person. I use the words “jealous” and “hate” less often (just like I’d hoped!). Blogland has given me more respect for stay at home moms, working moms, part-time working moms, dog & cat moms, women with seen and unseen illnesses, travelers, writers, saleswomen, lawyers, realtors, public speakers, accountants, and everyone else living a life different than mine. I’m calmer. I’m more calculated. And I feel like I’m unique yet similar to others, all at the same time. My struggle is authentic and personal, but it’s relatable to others and it’s only temporary- whatever it is.
So thank you. Thank you to those who read my blog or allow me to read yours. Thank you to the folks who like or comment on my posts and the ones who quietly read my words and then click away to another blog. Thank you to the folks who show me support, kindness, and understanding through your keyboard. I hope I can pay you back 10xs over.
I look forward to growing and reading and improving with you 🙂 Honestly, I wanted to list everyone but there are well over 30 and I was too afraid to leave people out ❤︎
Life as Louise 
You’re so sweet! I think blogging has made me a kinder person, or maybe just less negative since it’s really my go-to!
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I think I’ve always been a little more negative but blogging kind of turned that around 🙂 Or maybe it just made me neutral! Haha.
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I have to agree with you, I think I have become a more tolerable person since I started blogging. I know how much strength it takes to put yourself out there and I never want to discourage someone from being themselves. Unless they are total asshat. Hahaha. But in all seriousness, blogging is such an inspiring place more often than not because you see ladies lifting each other up. And that….that is something that is hard to come by out in the real world where jealousy and hate are breeding grounds that have taken over. I appreciate you, your blog, and our great interaction 🙂
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Yes! When I saw others having fun or taking vacations or staying home I used to be instantly envious. Now I’m genuinely happy for my blog-friends when they get a day off or spend the weekend by the pool. It’s funny that the internet has made me a more genuine person, haha!
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I think I’m still Sarcastic Suzy, I’m just a nicer version of her haha!
I was thinking things like this not too long ago myself. I do find myself wanting to tell people that what they are doing is ok, and giving them support whether I know them or not. I just feel like we need more of that in the world and I should be out there giving it.
Being on the internet so much, makes you see that we need more kindness, because damn, the world’s a mess.
It’s true, I love the words you’ve wrote here, it’s just what I was thinking. Weirdly, sharing my life has made me more confident that my life is worth just as much as others, not because it’s the same, but because it’s different and it turn other people’s struggles and lives mean more to me as well. We’re all in the same boat of life, we’re just sitting on different sides (or some other more useful analogy…)
This post made me smile a lot 🙂
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Oh girl, I bleed sarcasm 🙂 Haha!
I agree 100% about lifting others up. Sometimes it’s easier to type things than actually say them, and I think the same is true for words of encouragement and connecting with others. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve laughed, cried, and felt real pride or anger with other people’s blog posts. I really appreciate the connects I’ve made across the internet 🙂
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i love this post a lot! i feel the same and i appreciated what you said about being ‘calculated’ because i do that it stems from intention and we have a lot of intention around our blogs, don’t we 🙂 grateful to know you!
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Thanks, Chelsea! I’m grateful to know you, too! 🙂 I think the act of writing natural makes me more intentional and calculated. (For example, I just spent 3 minutes figuring out how to word that sentence! Ha!)
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You are so right! I’ve never thought about this before, but blogging has made me a kinder person too. If nothing else, it is has taught me more about lots of different walks of life, and I have more acceptance to give.
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Absolutely. I love reading about people’s lives- the ones that are 8-5 workers like me and the ones with the crazy SAHM schedules!
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this is such an interesting perspective on blogging and how it changes us. it’s so accurate though! blogging has definitely made me think about other people’s views more often instead of just mine.
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Thanks, Erin. I’ve always been a rather closed-off, prickly person so it’s funny for me to see that change through my blog/blogging in general. I think that I sound nicer on the internet than I do IRL, but it’s something I’m working on, haha!
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First, let me just let you into my thought process while I read your first paragraph: “Oh that’s funny, I read that as “kinder” like, “we need to kinder the fire.” Except the word is not kinder, it’s kindle. I need coffee.
Moving on from that…I’ve never thought about things like this, but you’re right! Blogging has definitely made me more compassionate and kind. I think a big thing is when you type things out, you have to actually think about them, and you want to phrase things in a nice way because no one can hear your tone. Cheers to blogging and being nice!
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I laugh every time I read the first part of your comment 😀 Our brains like to screw with us. Haha!
I totally agree about trying to type your tone into a comment! You’re right! So often I have to clarify when I meant when I text someone and I try to be very conscious about how I come across in my posts and comments! 🙂
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So much truth in this.
You are so right – it has opened my eyes to so many worlds I wouldnt really give a second glance at & get to really ‘know’ people & how their lives work for them. It’s an eye opener on human behavior – teaching yourself so much about your own behavior 🙂
Thats why I so hate when someone STOPS blogging. I feel like I loose a friend – a piece of a story I need to know what’s happened. So dont stop blogging, M’kay? 😉
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Thank Rebecca 🙂 I think my natural curiosity pulls me in and then when I make a connection I feel the urge to stay and get to know other bloggers. I was just telling K that my blog-friends are so hilarious and kind!
I’m not going anywhere any time soon 😀 You either!
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I would not describe myself as nice, but I am definitely an encourager of others and proud to be one! There are so many things in life that will crap on us…we don’t have to do that to each other.
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Hahahaha, I think you’re nice, Steph. You’re just honest 🙂 We can still be nice and dream about throwing darts at a certain presidential candidate, right? 😉
The world needs a million more encouragers 🙂 Tearing others down gets you absolutely no where.
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I love how kind and encouraging the blog world is! I think blogging has made me a better person, too. 🙂
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Olya, I can’t imagine you NOT being a great person- blog or no blog! Haha! I’m so happy to have “met” you through the blog-sphere 🙂
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This is a beautiful post. I love your writing. I think that blogging and interacting with other bloggers has made me much more aware of what I write & has made me a lot more compassionate because I read stories about people whose lives are so different from mine. And the world needs more compassion, more storytelling, more talking, more listening.
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Carolann. You know how to make a girl blush 🙂 Thank you!
I am definitely more aware of what I write (and say) thanks to blogging. I feel like I’m aware of more perspectives now.
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I feel the same way, blogging has made me a kinder, more encouraging, and a more accepting person. I hadn’t really thought about it until reading this post, but you hit the nail on the head! — Lisa | Naptime Chai
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Thank you, Lisa! It’s funny what a hobby can do for us 🙂
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I TOTALLY agree. And not just kinder, but lots of other things too. I never ever would’ve thought starting a blog would do that.
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I had no idea I’d make so many wonderful connections through my blog 🙂 I’m seriously so grateful for the community I’ve found here! 😀 Including you!!
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This is honestly one reason that I have fallen in love with WordPress and writing. The community I’ve experienced with so many is unparallel to reality…Kind of sad but not really.
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The blogging community can be so positive and encouraging. It’s a great place to start, and then carry that attitude into the real world 🙂 (I’m still on that step, haha!)
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First, feel free to be sarcastic with me anytime. I like me some sarcasm.
Second, I am shocked at how many encouraging, supportive, intelligent, thought-provoking, witty, and fun people that I’ve “met” in bloggerland too. Shocked. Unexpected. I started writing more personal things on my blog with the intentions of sharing my life with family and real-life friends back home. VERY few of them actually read my blog. So, what I get out of the blog world is completely different from what my intentions were…and it has been a wonderful unexpected surprise!
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Haha, I’ll never hold back my sarcasm with you 😉
I usually know who the handful of bloggers are that read my blog but when I found out a local friend has read something I’m always so surprised! I really do look forward to every comment and connecting with other bloggers who do the same things I do 🙂
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I had never thought of it like that, but you’re right- it’s made me kinder as well. When I first started blogging I was a little nervous about the mean comments, but I was shocked to not encounter that!
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I honestly don’t think I’ve ever had a mean comment-er… and if I did I’m almost positive there are two or three blog-friends that would jump to my defense. If that’s not community, I don’t know what is 🙂
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I want to hug you right now. ❤ That's exactly how I feel about blogging and the blogging friends I've made… we all have such different paths but we're all people, human. I'd say it's made me kinder too 🙂
(Also, I am definitely more sarcastic in real life than I am on my blog. I think people are always surprised by that when they meet me in person, and my friends who have known me the longest always mention that they miss it when they read my posts. Maybe the sarcasm only knows my mouth and not my typing fingers?!)
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I’m so glad you agree, Emily 🙂 It’s blogs like yours that encourage me to open up and post more than just lists or random updates sometimes!
I am so sarcastic. And crude… haha. I try to keep the sarcasm and cursing to an absolute minimum here. I’d love to see your sarcasm in full force, haha!
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This is so sweet and so true! I love the blogging community – it’s such a great space for sharing your life and finding-like minded people who are still different from you. It’s such a great way to connect to new people and make real life online friendships. So glad we’ve become blog friends recently! 🙂 XO – Alexandra
Simply Alexandra: My Favorite Things
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It really is a great place to find like-minded friends 🙂 I’m so glad to have discovered you/your blog, too! I was just telling K about how grateful I am for the people I’ve met/”met” through blogging!
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I was thinking about something similar recently. I feel like since becoming a mom (working mom specifically) I have had a lot of bitterness toward SAHMs because they get to be with their kids, and so I have to think twice about leaving some kind of “this makes me sad” comment, which is totally unnecessary. Or, like comments on people’s Stitch Fix box reveals about how one thing in their box is worth more than the entire month of blow money I have to spend. I think commenting has made me be more thankful and focus on the things I need to pray about in my own heart and deal with some jealousy…. wow that is kind of deep. But it’s not a bad thing. Thankfully, I have found blogging to be a great community where people are nice, and I haven’t had to deal with a lot of negativity, and I want to be someone that gives good, positive comments too. Thanks for sharing your thoughts 🙂
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I still have those initial thoughts, but thanks to the blogging community the anger and jealousy usually fades and I end up sympathizing with the blogger 🙂 I don’t have kids, but if I was a working mom I know I’d have opinions on SAHMs. And I get so jealous when people get boxes in the mail- it’s not something I can afford. I think the distance created by the internet gives me a chance to relax and respond with grace and kindness instead of jealousy or anger 🙂
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Although some people find the comment section a place to say whatever they want and in a really mean way. Thankfully I haven’t seen any of that on my blog or the ones I follow 🙂 Great discussion!
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