First order of business: Happy Birthday, Mom!
Secondly: K is my husband.
My mom called me but the call dropped almost immediately. Then she called back.
Me: Hello again.
Mom: Where ARE you??!
Me: Mom… you’re the one who dropped the call.
Mom: I know. I just wondered where you are.
. . .
While watching the Super Bowl in overtime.
Me: What the heck. Falcons had this. I don’t like Tom Brady. He’s a poophead.
K: A poophead, eh? That’s harsh.
. . .
Me: Self-pity doesn’t look good on you.
K: Everything looks good on me. Except sweaters.
. . .
K’s grandparents dropped off some candy at the office for us.
K: Do you have any Valentine’s Day candy left?
Me: …yes. What are you in the market for?
K: I’ll trade you these Skittles for something.
Me: You know I don’t eat Skittles.
*K gets up and starts to walk over.*
Me: Hey! Sit back down. You don’t get to raid my inventory.
. . .
Me: Alright, we’ve got to figure out lunch because I’m dying.
K: I’m not hungry yet.
Me: Fine. I’ll just get myself food. Maybe a bento box from Katana.
K: Get me a Hollywood roll.
Me: At this rate why don’t we just go eat there?!
K: I’m still full from my McDonald’s.
Me: AND THE TRUTH COMES OUT. No wonder you’re not hungry. You’ve been holding out on me.
. . .
Me: What would you do if I died?
K: Right now?
Me: Yes.
K: Probably drive you to a hospital.
Me: ….okay. I mean long term.
K: Oh. I don’t know.
. . .
We were sitting with a financial advisor discussing IRAs and K’s overall worth due to the business. The advisor stepped out of the office to get something and left us alone.
K (quietly): I’m worth more to you alive than dead.
Me: That’s true. For now…
. . .
I made a cleaning list to keep myself accountable. But then K saw it and decided to initial next to the chores he had completed.
And to be clear, by initialing next to “Load/Unload Dish Washer” he literally put his dinner plate in the rack. That’s it.
. . .
I’m glad we get each other’s somewhat dark humor. Ha.
Life as Louise 
Ha – I love how he initialled “rest day”!
I have a little wipe board on the fridge where I list chores. Some (like “clean the oven”) have been on there for months without getting rubbed out. Ooops!
LikeLike
He thought he was just so cute and clever. Ha
LikeLike
Ahahahahahaha this sounds like a sitcom and very similar to conversations in our house!
LikeLike
We’ve had multiple people in our day-to-day life tell us we’re like a sitcom. I swear we don’t try *eyeroll* Lol!
LikeLike
Hehe that is too cute!!
LikeLike
K gets a few good one-liners every now and then 😉
LikeLike
hahaha my husband says the same sarcastic things to me. I’m pretty sure he’s made the same hospital comment too…our husbands clearly have the same sense of humour.
LikeLike
Well… I suppose that’s probably a good things 🙂 K’s humor is one of my favorite things about him. Lol
LikeLike
I snorted at the Sweater comment…
& glad he at least knows to get you to a hospital if you are going to die.
Gotta ask – did he sound macho saying “Poophead”? 🙂 haha!!!
LikeLike
I love him in a sweater! But he HATES them. Hahaha.
He definitely did NOT sound macho. Ha.
LikeLike
Oh my gosh…. I can’t take it! AHAHAHA! This is hysterical. I like how literal he was with that “drive you to the hospital” one. I ask Jerry what he’d do if I died too and he always shushes me and tells me not to talk about it. Why wouldn’t he drive me to the hospital?! LOL
LikeLike
Hahahaha- I’m actually surprise K didn’t say something along the lines of “Get rid of the body”, lol. We were in the car during that conversation, though, so I think he was trying to be logical. Ha.
LikeLike
Ha! The load/unload dishwasher is too funny. Unfortunately I am the weak link as far as keeping things clean and tidy in my house so sounds like something I would do…
LikeLike
When I originally put the chart up- just to keep myself accountable/show K what chores could be done each day if he felt so inclined- he actually groaned at me. Then he saw the “rest day” on Friday and decided he could be a smarta**. Lol
LikeLike
LOL, we have the worth/dead/alive conversation a lot!
LikeLike
I’m surprised he said that, honestly. Usually I’m the one that jokes about death/murder. Hahaha 🙂
LikeLike
You’re nicer than me. I used much, much worse language when it comes to Tom Brady. 😀
LikeLike
I had no emotional investment in the Super Bowl, but the weird Patriots comeback just had me so irritated!
LikeLike
I think Tom Brady is a poophead too. 😉 I love how he initialed on “rest day.” So funny!
LikeLike
I wasn’t really rooting for anyone in the SB. Then the Patriots started catching up and for some reason I was suddenly emotionally invested (in the Falcons). Ha.
K is such a turd. Haha. I tried to tell him we weren’t initialing anything, we’re just doing the tasks. But he felt the need to initial the jobs he did/wanted to do.
LikeLike
I love these! Clearly you two are meant to be. Also, I always tell Nick I’m not hungry and then I end up eating all of the food he gets himself. I should just learn that I am pretty much always hungry:)
LikeLike
YES. Hahaha! Sometimes when K is going through a drive-thru and I say, “no thanks, I already ate” he still gets me fries or chips because he knows I’m going to beg for food like a dog. Hahahaha!
I’m ALWAYS hungry. I was so cheesed that he didn’t get me food at McDonald’s that morning! Ha!
LikeLike
Drive you to the hospital hahahahaha
LikeLike
Mr. Logical. Ha. What a turd.
LikeLike
My husband would ABSOLUTELY initial a chore chart. And cackle maniacally.
LikeLike
Yep. That was Kyle. I had to stop him from writing “rest” onto every blank line under the days. (And then initialing them, ha.)
LikeLike
lolololol the chore chart definitely makes me laugh the hardest… 😛 Husbands are funny… or they think* they are… or both. 😛 XO – Alexandra
Simply Alexandra: My Favorite Things
LikeLike
Ha, he definitely THINKS he is. Lol. I guess he’s kind of, sort of, maybe a little funny. 😉
LikeLike
I think you need to post a picture of your husband wearing a sweater if you’re going to put claims like that on the Internet. Let the people decide.
LikeLike
Hahahahaha- “Let the people decide.” Personally, I love him in a sweater. I honestly can’t remember the last time he wore one, though…
LikeLike