Chats with K and more…

First order of business: Happy Birthday, Mom!
Secondly: K is my husband.

My mom called me but the call dropped almost immediately. Then she called back.
Me: Hello again.
Mom: Where ARE you??!
Me: Mom… you’re the one who dropped the call.
Mom: I know. I just wondered where you are.

. . .

While watching the Super Bowl in overtime.
Me: What the heck. Falcons had this. I don’t like Tom Brady. He’s a poophead.
K: A poophead, eh? That’s harsh.

. . .

Me: Self-pity doesn’t look good on you.
K: Everything looks good on me. Except sweaters.

. . .

K’s grandparents dropped off some candy at the office for us.
K: Do you have any Valentine’s Day candy left?
Me: …yes. What are you in the market for?
K: I’ll trade you these Skittles for something.
Me: You know I don’t eat Skittles.
*K gets up and starts to walk over.*
Me: Hey! Sit back down. You don’t get to raid my inventory.

. . .

Me: Alright, we’ve got to figure out lunch because I’m dying.
K: I’m not hungry yet.
Me: Fine. I’ll just get myself food. Maybe a bento box from Katana.
K: Get me a Hollywood roll.
Me: At this rate why don’t we just go eat there?!
K: I’m still full from my McDonald’s.
Me: AND THE TRUTH COMES OUT. No wonder you’re not hungry. You’ve been holding out on me.

. . .

Me: What would you do if I died?
K: Right now?
Me: Yes.
K: Probably drive you to a hospital.
Me: ….okay. I mean long term.
K: Oh. I don’t know.

. . .

We were sitting with a financial advisor discussing IRAs and K’s overall worth due to the business. The advisor stepped out of the office to get something and left us alone.
K (quietly): I’m worth more to you alive than dead.
Me: That’s true. For now…

. . .

I made a cleaning list to keep myself accountable. But then K saw it and decided to initial next to the chores he had completed.

And to be clear, by initialing next to “Load/Unload Dish Washer” he literally put his dinner plate in the rack. That’s it.

. . .

I’m glad we get each other’s somewhat dark humor. Ha.

Advertisements

30 thoughts on “Chats with K and more…

  1. Ha – I love how he initialled “rest day”!
    I have a little wipe board on the fridge where I list chores. Some (like “clean the oven”) have been on there for months without getting rubbed out. Ooops!

    Like

  2. hahaha my husband says the same sarcastic things to me. I’m pretty sure he’s made the same hospital comment too…our husbands clearly have the same sense of humour.

    Like

  3. I snorted at the Sweater comment…
    & glad he at least knows to get you to a hospital if you are going to die.
    Gotta ask – did he sound macho saying “Poophead”? 🙂 haha!!!

    Like

  4. Oh my gosh…. I can’t take it! AHAHAHA! This is hysterical. I like how literal he was with that “drive you to the hospital” one. I ask Jerry what he’d do if I died too and he always shushes me and tells me not to talk about it. Why wouldn’t he drive me to the hospital?! LOL

    Like

    1. Hahahaha- I’m actually surprise K didn’t say something along the lines of “Get rid of the body”, lol. We were in the car during that conversation, though, so I think he was trying to be logical. Ha.

      Like

    1. When I originally put the chart up- just to keep myself accountable/show K what chores could be done each day if he felt so inclined- he actually groaned at me. Then he saw the “rest day” on Friday and decided he could be a smarta**. Lol

      Like

    1. I wasn’t really rooting for anyone in the SB. Then the Patriots started catching up and for some reason I was suddenly emotionally invested (in the Falcons). Ha.
      K is such a turd. Haha. I tried to tell him we weren’t initialing anything, we’re just doing the tasks. But he felt the need to initial the jobs he did/wanted to do.

      Like

  5. I love these! Clearly you two are meant to be. Also, I always tell Nick I’m not hungry and then I end up eating all of the food he gets himself. I should just learn that I am pretty much always hungry:)

    Like

    1. YES. Hahaha! Sometimes when K is going through a drive-thru and I say, “no thanks, I already ate” he still gets me fries or chips because he knows I’m going to beg for food like a dog. Hahahaha!
      I’m ALWAYS hungry. I was so cheesed that he didn’t get me food at McDonald’s that morning! Ha!

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s