Chats with K on my B-day

(Did you notice my title rhymed?? All these chats didn’t happen today…)
In honor of my birthday (today!) I’m sharing a collection of conversations with my husband, otherwise known as ‘Chats with K.’ We’ve got some good ones today.

I needed a sound system setup for a wedding shower…
K: Do you want to use these speakers? I have two of them and a sub woofer in my office.
Me, walking into his office: What do they look like?
K: Um. One fell over right here. One fell on the floor under my desk. And the sub woofer is… uh.. I think it might be.. no…. I think it’s in this pile.
Me: Your office is quite the mysterious place, dear.

Still talking about speakers…
K: I’d like to get another Sonus or two for the new house but they’re expensive.
Me: I wish it was possible to read all the books in the world.
K: …I think we’re on two different strings of thought right now.

While walking down the NUT aisle at the grocery store…
K: Look at that big jar of nuts! I just want to stick my face in it!
Me: …you want to bury your face in those nuts?
K: I do.

I leaned in to give him a kiss for the first time that day…
K: Your breath smells like a trash panda.

K: You’re 26 going on 27. I’m going to need you to realize this and stop saying “ghosted” and “chill as f*ck.”
Me: I’m a millennial. I use millennial phrases. You’re a millennial, too.
K: No. I’m a baby boomer at heart.

In the same breath…
Me, while scrolling through thehomeedit: These pictures are giving me serious goals. I mean… not to sound like a millennial or anything.
K: Ha. Most millennials don’t have goals so I’d say you’re doing great.
(Here I reminded him, for the 14 millionth time, he’s a millennial.)

Me: Do you know how I know I’m getting sick?
K: Because you’re blowing your nose constantly?
Me: …well, I guess. But also because I’m so hungry.
K: Oh. Well of course.

K: It sucks that my appointment doesn’t start at the same time as yours.
Me: Yeah.
K: I’m just going to be sitting around, biting my tongue.
Me: …bidding your time?
K: No, biting my tongue. I just bite it. Damn it. That’s a day-ruiner.

Me: Did you hear Hugh Hefner died?
K: Yeah. He’s probably the only person that people don’t say, “Well he’s in a better place now” about.


When I turned 25 I flipped my lid but 27 doesn’t seem bad at all. Last weekend we spent our time celebrating our friends at their wedding and next weekend we’ll be burning calories moving all the remaining stuff into the new house. This birthday is truly sandwiched by incredible events and the most wonderful people. I feel very fortunate and happy today 🙂

32 Comments Add yours

  1. happy birthday lady!! hope it’s wonderful. 27 was one of my favorite years (random i know, but true), so my wish for you is that yours is one of your best. also, i am also married to a “baby boomer at heart” haha.

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    1. Louise says:

      Thank you so much!! I’ll take that wish! 23 was probably my best year, but I’m up for having another good one 😉

      Like

  2. Happy, happy birthday! I hope you have the best day ever because you truly deserve it. I am so grateful that we connected and that I have you as a friend (even if it’s online… still counts!).

    I love that his speakers fell and he just left them. HA!!!

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    1. Louise says:

      Thanks, Stephanie!! I’m glad we connected, too!!

      He knocked over a jar of coins months ago. Last week I needed 50 cents and went into his office and found two quarters on the floor still. *eyeroll* He’s nothing if not consistent.

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  3. Stephanie says:

    LOLed so hard at the Hugh Hefner one! He’s not wrong!

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    1. Louise says:

      I gave him so much credit for that and then days later he told me that he’d heard that joke on the radio.
      What a phony.

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  4. Happy Birthday! These are hilarious. Trash panda is so random! Love the millennial/baby boomer one too. And oh yes please – All the books in the world. 🙂

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    1. Louise says:

      Thanks, Kelly! He thought he was just so clever with the trash panda one. He’s ridiculous.

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  5. Rebecca Jo says:

    That’s such a man reaction to Hugh Hefner… funny.
    Shout out to a baby boomer at heart 😉
    Happy Birthday to you beautiful one!!!

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    1. Louise says:

      He only pretends to be so anti-millennial to irritate me. Haha.
      Thank you!!

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  6. Happy birthday, Audrey! I like that K is an old man at heart who apparently loves nuts. 😀 Here’s to a great birthday and wonderful year full of great memories, laughter and love!

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    1. Louise says:

      Thank you, Tanya!!

      K is DEFINITELY an old man at heart that loves nuts. Hahaha!

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  7. “I’m a baby boomer at heart” is my favorite line.

    Happy birthday! (And you have the same birthday as my husband)

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    1. Louise says:

      Yay! It’s a good day to have been born 🙂 Happy belated birthday to your husband!

      K is such a little old man at heart… lol.

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  8. shelldbell says:

    “I’m a baby boomer at heart” HA!!! Me too, K. Me too.

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    1. Louise says:

      Hahaha- he was so proud of himself for that little quip.

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  9. SMD says:

    HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY FRIEND!

    I like the term trash panda and laughed hard at the nuts (because aren’t we all 10?) but being that I am also a baby boomer at heart, that is the winner!

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    1. Louise says:

      Thank you!!

      He followed up the trash panda remark with a text to me (from the other side of the house) with a scene from Guardians of the Galaxy 2 where they use the term.
      He loves to razz me about the millennial thing. He was so proud of himself for that comeback.

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  10. Happy, happy birthday, Audrey! Hope you have the best day. LOVE the baby boomer at heart comment. Pretty sure Chris would say the same thing. Haha.

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    1. Louise says:

      Hahaha, these boys… lol.
      Thank you!!!

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  11. Nadine says:

    Hahahahahaha he makes an excellent point about Hefner. And I had to laugh at “Most millennials don’t have goals so I’d say you’re doing great.” I make a lot of millennial comments like that too. Oops.

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    1. Louise says:

      Hahaha- he loooves making millennial comments to me because he knows they get under my skin. He was born in 87, though, so he is 100% in the millennial camp. Hahahaha 🙂

      Like

  12. akaleistar says:

    So funny! Happy Birthday!

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  13. Anthea says:

    Happy Birthday for yesterday! Hope you had an awesome day.

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    1. Louise says:

      Thank you so much! It was a great, relaxing day 🙂

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  14. Elyse says:

    Happy Belated Birthday!! My husband makes the same nut joke EVERY time we’re in the grocery aisle.

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    1. Louise says:

      Hahahaha. These men… They’re such oddballs. K was giggling to himself through the whole grocery store. Lol
      Thank you!!

      Like

  15. Happy belated bday again! 🙂 These are so funny. LOLOL on the nut one, and the baby boomer one, and the trash panda one. 😛 Also, that’s a lot to say about speakers. hahaha XO – Alexandra

    Simply Alexandra: My Favorite Things

    Like

    1. Louise says:

      Ha- thank you!!
      Sometimes he says things that just make me roll my eyes and giggle quietly (so as to not encourage him further), hahaha!

      Like

  16. bahaha i am seriously still laughing at kyle’s response of ‘i’m a baby boomer at heart.’ these are TOO cute! mine comes out tomorrow 🙂

    Like

    1. Louise says:

      I loved yours!! Kyle is such a little turd. It makes it easy to record out conversations. Ha!

      Like

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