Date Ideas for Couples Who Don’t “Date”

I’m going to make a confession that will shock and horrifying marriage bloggers.

We don’t go on scheduled weekly or bi-weekly or monthly date nights.

Don’t get me wrong- we go on dates. They’re just not regular or scheduled. Our relationship doesn’t work that like. We’re both workaholics (who work with each other) and it’s healthier for us to veg at home (sometimes together and sometimes apart) instead of heading out on the town. I’m an introvert and K is an introverted extrovert so we alter our life and relationship to make ourselves happiest.

Ok, enough explaining. When we DO go out on dates, they tend to be a little bigger and/or planned out than what a weekly date night might entail. If your “dating style” is similar to ours, here are a few of our favorite things to do together:

An evening concert.
We love going to concerts together. We’ve been doing it since the very first month we started dating. When we were younger we’d show up to the concert venue, rock out, and then pig out on fast food or gas station food on our drive home. Now we like to go out to dinner first, then attend the concert (and then come home and crash like old people, lol).

A trip to the local creamery.
We live about 0.25 miles from the town’s BEST creamery. In addition to yummy ice cream, we both love their homemade coney sauce. On beautiful evenings when we don’t feel like cooking we climb into the convertible and cruise over there for dinner together.

Early morning breakfast dates.
I think one of my hands down favorite things to do with K is to wake up semi-early on a Saturday or Sunday and get breakfast at a local diner while the world is still waking up. There are lots of places near us but our favorite is a cute one a few towns over. With maybe 12 tables inside, everyone knows everyone. We’re strangers in that town, but they’re so friendly and it’s fun to watch them greet one another and catch up as they come inside for breakfast.

Walking around car shows.
I married a car enthusiast. We’ve spent many afternoons slowly walking through car shows, admiring the vintage rides of yesteryear. Truth be told, I’ve actually learned a lot about cars from K while walking around these shows. My dad, brother, and grandfathers are all car lovers, too. I guess it’s in my blood πŸ˜‰ Perusing car lots and open houses are also a fun way to spend the afternoon. For us anyway.

A festival lunch date.
We don’t really care for crowds. Additionally, in a small town like ours, when you immerse yourself in a crowd you’re bound to know a handful of people- some you like and some you don’t. We’ve found that by going on weekday lunch dates to street fests and fairs, we avoid crowds and lines and small talk with people we haven’t seen since high school. AND we get the benefit of fresh lemonade and vinegar-soaked fries πŸ˜€

I think it’s adorable and cute and #relationshipgoals when couples plan out weekly quality time. I really do. It’s just not how we operate πŸ™‚ All kinds of kinds. These occasional outings work well for us and keep us happy and connected. Next time you’re looking for something to do with you s/o, try one of these!

What kind of date activities do you and yours like to do?

30 thoughts on “Date Ideas for Couples Who Don’t “Date”

  1. I love going for brunch with Jan. We rarely do (he likes to sleep laaaaaate on weekends) so when we do it’s a special treat. He doesn’t really understand the concept of “dates” though… he’s like if you’re a long-term a couple/married surely it’s just called “doing stuff together”? I don’t know if it’s a German thing or something gets lost in translation.
    My sister will go to the pub or something with her husband and call it date night, whic”h seems odd to me. Like you literally go to the pub every Friday after work, sometimes with other people, sometimes just the two of you… not really a “date”!

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    • I’m a fan of coffee and pancakes and people-watching. Breakfast dates facilitate all three! πŸ˜€ It’s funny how all of us define dates differently. K and I don’t always agree on what constitutes as a date. Regardless of what we call it, I just like spending the time with my husband. Hahaha

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  2. Last year we started planning weekly date nights on Wednesday. It got expensive fast. We spend A LOT of time together (though we don’t work together!) so like you, I don’t feel as bad that we’re not scheduling out time. We cook dinner together most nights, etc., but I do like the idea of scheduled dates sometimes. We’re both introverted as well! We have started taking walks together (win/win!) and both love going to brunch when time allows. These are great ideas!

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    • I love the walk idea! K isn’t one for evening walks although he’s mentioned taking them in the mornings to burn some of the dogs’ energy before we head to work. We almost always eat dinner together- sometimes even make it together. I love that πŸ™‚ It’s a nice way to relax at night!

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  3. I love these ideas. Nick and I would both prefer to have scheduled date nights. We’ve tried to set aside a time each week just for us, but with military life and Nick’s schedule, it leads to disappointment. Often he will have to go in on the weekend or work late and then we will both be upset. So we tend to do more spontaneous things. I have come to love the spontaneous things! I wonder if we will start scheduling things or of we will keep up the spontaneous style once we’re on shore tour.

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    • I think it definitely depends on the couple and their lifestyle. *Sometimes* we schedule things out but usually on Friday night as we’re laying down we’ll make the plans for breakfast πŸ™‚ I like that. I feel like it means he’s thinking of me spontaneously and how we can spend some time together outside of the house/work. I’ll be interested to see how your dates change once Nick’s on shore more often!

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  4. I’m not in a relationship, but I like how you do “dates.” I think it makes sense that you wouldn’t really have scheduled or weekly dates because you work together. I suppose I always see the other types of daters as people who need to carve out time to hang out together – because of work or kids – otherwise they would never hang out at all! lol But you’re right, everyone is different. Whatever works for you and your relationship!!

    -Lauren
    http://www.shootingstarsmag.net

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    • Non-dates definitely work best for us but it’d be sooooo different if we had children or if we didn’t work together all day every day! I’m always curious to hear how other people stay connected and happy πŸ™‚

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  5. Oh man, there is nothing better than ice cream from a local creamery!! There’s one closer to my husband’s family and whenever we move back there we are definitely making that a date night!

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  6. Not that death has had a hold of our family lately but I thought “creamery” said “Cemetery” LOL – Geez… my world.
    We are old & Ricky is in bed early so those early breakfast dates are all up our alley. I may try to get Ricky to do that this weekend actually.

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    • No worries, my friend. You are NOT the only one who read “cemetery.” And I definitely wouldn’t blame you ❀
      I hope you had your breakfast date! Or you have one together soon!

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  7. Love this! Every couple and marriage is different! We laugh when our friends go out for date night because we feel like every night is date night! (#nokids.)
    It does feel extra special when we make the effort to do something new. I love the sound of a breakfast date!

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  8. hahah not gonna lie…totally read “A trip to the local creamer” as ” a trip to the local cemetery” hahah i would have reallllly loved to hear what you do there! date nights have become waaaay more intentional now that we have a kid and also work together! totally get what you’re saying though πŸ™‚

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    • You’re absolutely not the only one… Hahaha!
      I won’t lie… when I was a emo teenager I used to wander around and take walks (sometimes through the cemetery) with a boyfriend! HAHAHA!
      Oh man… I’m sure our approach will change when there are kids in the picture!

      Liked by 1 person

  9. We don’t go on dates. I have always hated dates and the overblown date night crap on the internet. We do things together like all people who are in a relationship do.

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    • Hahahahaha. I rarely call our nights out a date until I go to write something on social media. Then it’s “date night this” and “date night that.” Hahaha. Whether I call them dates or not, my favorite things to do with K are concerts and breakfasts πŸ˜€

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  10. Such fun ideas! I’m really bad at dating my husband. I think early morning breakfast before work one morning would be awesome! I read “a trip to the local creamery” as “a trip to the local cemetery” and just thought ‘hmmm, ok, I need to read more about this…’ hahah. Like what would you do on a date at a cemetery!?

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    • My husband doesn’t enjoy “dates” and I like the idea of them, but when it comes to going out my true introvert kicks in. LOL. These are a few things we actually look forward to! πŸ™‚
      So many people read it that way!!!

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  11. We keep talking about making time for dates – but honestly we love just doing things like you guys!

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  12. I love all those ideas!!!! (And what are vinegar-soaked fries and why have I never had them?!) We started doing date night every Friday because Devin realized early on that if we didn’t have a set-aside night for just us, I would be making other plans for us/hanging out with friends haha (Can you guess which of us is the extrovert?!) πŸ˜‰

    I love that you guys have a system that works!!!

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    • Oh man…. fair fries that have been spritzed all over with vinegar and then salted and then ketchup on top of that. IN THAT ORDER. The salt sticks to the vinegar and you don’t want to salt the ketchup. V important πŸ˜‰
      I love that you guys have a set night for dates together! It’s perfect because it works for you!

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