When the Stress Adds Up

I’m just going to free ball it today and let the words fly.

The past 6 days have been incredibly stressful. I wake up so grateful to have such a tough supportive partner, but when you both carry the same personal and professional stress, it’s just freaking hard.

I thought about listing all the things that have me stressed, but seeing them spelled out isn’t going to help. I’m also not going to list coping mechanisms because I just don’t care right now. I’m stressed and that’s life.

I will say that I handle stress better than I once did. Instead of shutting down or getting ungodly angry or holing up in a dark room to sleep I just cry it out, maybe write a few words, and pull on my big girl pants to handle the situation as best I can.

I’m Type-A, but I’m a realist & I know there are a million things outside my control. I try to plan for the tangible things and limit my worrying when it comes to the rest. (I forgot that yesterday, had a total melt down, and was reminded of this mindset by K. Thank you, dear.)

On top of my normal stress, it stresses me out that I’mΒ probably stressing out the baby. I imagine she’ll emerge as a total neurotic psycho (like her mother) or be the most zen child out there because she lived through the nervous energy that pumped through my body the past 9 month. I’m praying for the latter.

Surprisingly, my anxiety is low. Pregnancy kind of muted my social anxiety and the stress I feel is just pure stress with actual problems as the source. My depression is a sneaky little monster, though. Pregnancy has only fueled that. (But this isn’t about that.)

For the record, I am perfectly ok. The kid moves around and kicks my bladder. I sleep ok at night. I’m eating well. I distract myself with books and dogs. My marriage is great. My mental health is just fine. I could just use a littttttle less stress, but that’s just life.

And I’m not trying to be vague. My stressors aren’t a secret, they’re just mundane and universal. Huge shifts at work, the upcoming travel season (mostly for K this year but I can’t bow out completely), “maternity leave” and what it’s going to look like, etc.

I know I don’t need to say this because you guys don’t ever think the worst of me, but I am well aware of how fortunate I am. I’m excited to welcome a daughter soon, I very much enjoy my job, I live & work with my favorite human on the planet. I am hashtag blessed and I know that. I’m just stressed & rambling, & I appreciate your patience today.

Hopefully your week is a little less ahsadkjfhshg than mine is… And hopefully you have awesome weekend plans! Tell me about them πŸ™‚ We’re going to a race and I honestly cannot wait to drown out my problems with the sound of engines and the smell of tires.

22 thoughts on “When the Stress Adds Up

  1. Sorry your stress levels have been hectic lately. Work stress can push anxiety levels up in a second and it is often difficult to switch off at the end of the day. I think it must be great to work with a spouse but I totally understand that if you are both in the same company you will both be feeling and carrying the same stress.

    Hope your weekend is great and that you feel calmer in the new week.

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    • Thanks! Yeah… work stress tends to follow us home. My husband started/owns the company that we both work for so it’s easy for the stress to pile on. It’s definitely something we need to work on!

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  2. It always seems like stress is tapping on the shoulder, isn’t it? & with today’s issues of always something tragic happening every day, it can be overwhelming. Add in carrying a human & you’re doing great lady! Do what you can do take care of yourself during these stressful times!!!

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  3. Sorry your stressed. I hope things calm down soon. I find that stresses seem to come all at once, which is just annoying. Like come on universe… let people deal with one thing at a time!

    This weekend we’re going to Karlsruhe (where we used to live in Germany) on Saturday and then on Sunday we’re meeting a friend for hiking. She’s American and lives back in the US, but her husband is German and they’re back for a visit. I get to meet their baby for the first time, which is exciting ❀

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    • I agree completely! Although there are certainly scattered blessings amongst the stress. It’s important not to overlook those things and people πŸ˜‰
      What a fun weekend!! I hope you had a wonderful time!

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  4. Thank you for your honesty, Audrey. There is so much BS in the world today about how women, in particular, must always be perfect. And even when you are hashtag blessed and know it, it doesn’t mean you don’t have stress or anxiety. But feeling like you can’t share it, can be awful because what you feel is perfectly normal. Everyone gets exhausted. Everyone gets stressed. And I’ve pretended otherwise to great damage to myself and I’ve seen others act as though “they can do it all” and practically kill themselves living up to some hypothetical myth. We got you on the days when you feel overwhelmed and on the days when you’re rocking the blessings. Hugs, my friend.

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    • Oof. It’s some strange badge we all seem to carry, isn’t it? “Look at how much I can juggle before I completely crack!” I know I’m guilty of that. I’m trying to be a little more upfront about my stress and a little more willing to say, “No, this is nuts. I need a break and I am taking that break now.” There’s definitely something to admire in the hustle, but there’s absolutely no shame in taking a break and sitting out for a bit.
      Thank you ❀

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  5. No matter how good life is or how blessed we realize we are, that does not negate stress from touching us and from us reacting to it. That’s normal. You are allowed to know you have it good and still be stressed about the regular stressful stuff!

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    • Whew. Sometimes it’s easiest to vent about it and air it all out. Helps to put it in perspective and take steps toward “fixing” things. Like taking a personal day πŸ˜‰

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    • Sometimes I think I worry MORE about good things, lol. I do much better when I control what I can and release the rest. I ended up taking a personal day on Friday to clean the house- which is something I can absolutely control (minus the dog hair, lol).

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  6. It’s been pretty stressful around me the last couple weeks too – and just this summer in general – so I get that. I’m glad your mental health is good. I’ve been dealing with some anxiety, but thankfully it’s not too terrible. I’m also seeing a therapist every other week and it really does help me out. I hope that your stress/worry goes down a little, but easier said than done, I know!! *hugs* if you need to chat or vent, let me know and I’m happy to help however I can! πŸ™‚ I hope you have a really fun weekend!!

    -Lauren
    http://www.shootingstarsmag.net

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    • Oof, I hope your stress starts to diminish. It can really pile up when you’re feeling it week after week. I’m glad therapy has been helping with your anxiety. Having resources like that (and taking advantage) is so so helpful! The offer stands for you, too! Hopefully this week is a little less stressful for you! Do something fun and relaxing!

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  7. It’s all a-ok to stress out!! Give yourself some grace and let it ride out.. Or take up kickboxing or boxing or something and punch it out!! Venting is good, crying it out is also good. Ahhh. Hugs!

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    • Crying is definitely an outlet for me. And I’ve learned that when I just let myself do it and let myself get those frustrations out, I often come away with a much clearer head. I should take up kickboxing for sure, though. Yoga helps but I think punching something might help more. Ha!

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    • I think I definitely need to find a physical outlet like that. K could benefit from it, too. I worry about the stress he carries all the time. (Which helps with my stress, ha.) 10 minutes of deep breathing or alone time or even crying seems to work wonders for me. Ha.

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  8. Sending you love and support. Anxiety and depression are real and hard. And it seems when one thing happens, five others do so I get it. It’s okay and normal to feel this way at times and I hope That writing about it helps you. I’m here if you need to vent and word vomit all over meπŸ˜‰hope tomorrow is a better day and week for you!

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    • Thank you so much ❀ I think writing definitely does help. Getting away from it all is handy, too, although sometimes just shutting myself in the closet and having a nice cry is the only thing that does the trick. Oddly specific, but it helps πŸ˜‰ The offer stands for you, too! I definitely understand the strain of day to day stress.

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