Thank you for all the love this week. It’s meant so much ♥ I want things to just feel normal & they don’t yet. I’ll be fine, then think about how Ly’s stocking is packed away, ready to affect me come Christmas time. She used to go upstairs and nap every. single. time. I made coffee at home. I haven’t brought myself to make any yet because I hate that she’s not there to carry out her weird little habit. Weird stuff like that still lingers and makes me cry myself to sleep every stupid night.

I meant for this to be a happier post, though, so I’m going to move on. But I did want to sincerely thank everyone for their love. It’s been a comfort to us.

It’s my birthday month & the best month of the year!

My family likes to tease that once baby is here, nothing with be about me anymore. (You all ARE just teasing, right?) But… I still have a few weeks and fortunately my 29th birthday falls in that time.

Every year I do a wish list and every year I say (and mean) this: I don’t need a thing for my birthday. I wrote this post before we lost Lylee so I would take her over every single gift ever but I know that’s not possible and wishing for it makes me imagine a Monkey’s Paw situation which is icky.

Ok… now moving on 😬


Harry Potter & the Goblet of Fire Illustrated Copy. It’s finally (coming) out! I’m so excited to get my hands on this gorgeous book!!

Professor Layton and the Azran Legacy. I don’t play a ton of video games anymore, but I still love these.


I love clothes but I’m kind of between sizes 😉 lol

I Work Out to… tank. I’m thinking an XL would be great for postpartum yoga and barre workouts someday when I’m all cleared to go back to that stuff.

Home Items:

I always love a snarky doormat. This one or this one would fit in great at our house. Again, when I found these mats we had multiple dogs. We will again some day so I still love it.

Beetlejuice pillow. I very much love this and would probably leave it out for more than Halloween. Lol

Random Items:

A bag for my yoga mat. I haven’t had a fictional strap or bag for my mat in years. I know they’re inexpensive and easy enough to find, I just haven’t pulled the trigger.

New cooling racks. I have two wire cooling racks and the black nonstick coating is peeling off both of them. Not a great “sprinkle” to have on your cookies or cupcakes.

A sticker for my laptop. MacBook 13″

A case for my laptop. MacBook 13″

**For family: All the Amazon items can be found on my wish list, plus some other items

I love October and we’re trying very heard to mend and take care of our hearts this month. We have lots of baby prep to get done and Halloween is just around the corner. This will definitely be a month of change for all of us.

24 thoughts on “Birthday Month Wishlist

  1. HAPPY BIRTHDAY MONTH! You’re the same age as my brother (he was 29 yesterday).
    I hope you have a wonderful month despite everything. This time is going to be so hard for you, but I truly hope the good times outweigh the sadness.


    1. Thank you so much, Bev. (And happy birthday to your brother!) Every day feels a little different. I’m grateful that we’re in my favorite month at the start of my favorite time of year- I think it makes the grief a little less each day if I let it.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you! And thank you! My family teases me for being self-centered. (Which… I can be, but I’m not. Lol.) I’m still planning to take that time to take care of me. I mean… she’s got a Dad who’s going to watch her and keep her as often as I am. If mama needs a latte and a bath, mama is getting a latte and a bath (eventually, lol).


  2. Happy Birthday Month! Oh man. What a weird time. So happy and so sad and that’s the roller coaster of life, I guess. Know that you can reach out any time you’re feeling sad and need a shoulder to cry on or want to share some memory of Lylee or whatever. Now onto the fun stuff! I have avoided even looking at the illustrated HP books because I will want them and don’t need them! I LOVE the Beetlejuice pillow. That’s one of my favorite movies too.


    1. Life is definitely a roller coaster. I know there are highs for every low, though. Hopefully a very high high since this past month was a super low low.
      The illustrated books are so worth it! Give in 😉 I love Beetlejuice. It’s my favorite fall movie! (And Clue. And Fantastic Mr. Fox.)


  3. May it be a happy birthday month despite the pain. I am so, so sorry for your loss, still. (Oh and babies totally do take up a lot of attention which is why it’s fun to STILL make your bday a thing. Don’t let your fam worry ya 😉 ) AND OMG THAT DOGS BARKING WELCOME MAT. I NEED THAT.


    1. Thank you, friend ❤ It's taken time but good memories are starting to edge out the grief and our lives are slowly adjusting. I'm hoping some excitement from all the festivities this month helps to heal that hole in our hearts.
      The mat is so, so perfect!


    1. Thank you ❤ It'll definitely be weird moving through fall and winter and the holidays without her. She loved the cold weather and really thrived this time of year. I'm sure she's enjoying it in doggie Heaven, though.


  4. Haha your family isn’t joking about it not being about you anymore. But then your kid starts to give you birthday hugs, and well, that is better than anything else. This will be our 4th Christmas without Gracie this year, and her stocking still sits in the box with the rest. I can’t bring myself to get rid of it, so I have a little cry every year. My mom got me an ornament with a dog that looks just like her so that she can be with us through the holidays. I like that wizard mat!


    1. Lol. With all the attention I’ve gotten during pregnancy I’m kind of happy to shrink back in the shadows and recharge my introvert battery while people fawn all over her. Ha.
      That makes me feel a little better… I might just keep it in the Christmas box as a happy reminder… We have lots of ornaments with her on them- including one that is a clay replica of her. It’s always been my favorite.


  5. Happy Birthday Month. I love October and Halloween! I hope that you have a really good month, even though I know it’s going to be rough sometimes and you’re probably still going to cry and mourn. That’s okay. I’m with you.

    I love the wizard mat, and I definitely need the fourth illustrated HP. They are so beautiful.



  6. Happy birthday month!!! The first year with baby didn’t feel a ton different, but it is totally still about you during these times. I know they’re kidding, BUT I personally think it’s even more special with a little one around. Bella gets so excited to give me a card that she scribbled on and that melts my heart. I love the variety of ideas on your list. I’m thinking of you and hope that the days are getting a tad easier ( I know that the sadness is always there). Sending you lots of love friend, xo


    1. I’m ok with sharing the spotlight from here on out 😉 I’ve never made a huge deal out of my birthday- I just like to go do something. It’ll be all the more fun with another human in tow 🙂
      Thank you. We’re adjusting and happy memories are more frequent than the spells of grief. We miss her a lot but I think we always will ❤


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