One week and one day until Christmas! Woo!

That’s a weak lead-in to some pretty humorous* chats with K that I jotted down…
*in my opinion

K: I need DEF. [for his truck]
Me: … Mos Def? LL COOL J. Luda. Biggie biggie biggie. Tupac
K: *just stares at me*
Me: Want to name 90s rapper with me?
K: Mos Def is an actor. 
Me: He’s both. Like Ice Cube. 
K: …
Me: Ice-T?
K: There ya go. 

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Me: You have a booger. 
K: I know! I feel it. 
Me: Did you put it there?
K: Yep. 
Me: Have you named it?
K: Yeah, Batman. 
Me: …because it’s in the cave. 
K: I call him Bruce. 

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Me: Can you look at the timer?
K: Yep. 
Me: …
K: …
Me: Can you tell me what it says? 

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K: Bristol is stoned tonight. 
Me: How many drops of the cbd oil did you give her?
K: Just five like the bottle says. 

Three hours later & Bristol has been asleep the entire time. 

Me: How many did you really give her?
K: … eight. 

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K: Whoaaaa. The girl I married wouldn’t have out these black flecks on the veggies! (pepper)
Me: The girl you knew is all grown up.
K: …that girl just made little smokies for dinner. 

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Me to Moo: You about ready for a nap, babe?
K: Yeah. 
Me: Is she giving sleepy cues?
K: No, I meant me. 

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Me*while watching Dan & Shay perform with Justin Bieber*: You know, I’ve never in my life found Justin Bieber attractive but this might do it. 
K: Oh yeah?
Me: I mean, they say he is very talented.
K: Yeah, he just leaves monkeys in Germany.

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K: They just called the Goo Goo Dolls classic rock. 
Me: Yeah… they are. What would you call them?
K: Just rock. 
Me: How old does a car have to be to be considered classic?
K: …25 years. 
Me: And when did the Goo Goo Dolls start? 
K: Leave me alone.

In his defense, most of Twitter was outraged to hear the Goo Goo Dolls referred to as classic. Lol