It was just over two years ago (!!) that we told the world M was going to be a little girl. A few months later that little girl entered the world and completely rocked mine to its core. It was T O U G H and I feel like I was very open and honest and blunt about our struggles with parenthood.

Sometimes I wonder if M will ever find those posts and IG pictures and FB updates, and think I felt regretful. It wasn’t always glamorous and I very rarely painted it as such. And while I hope that was/is helpful to new moms, I sometimes wonder what M will think.

So I thought I’d write a epilogue to the infant days. My 19-month-old is full bore toddler now so we’re in a completely different chapter. (Maybe even book?)

I think every parent has a favorite age. Some will say each stage was their favorite and then the next one happened and it was even better. Kudos to those moms and dads. That is not what I (or K) would tell you.

I loved the newborn snuggles but I struggled during the newborn phase. Even after we cleared the fog, it was hard to find my groove. But then M started rolling. And sitting up. And eating some soft foods.

Then she started smiling and babbling. Pointing and shaking her head. Reaching and rejecting. By the time she was 13 months she could pick out her favorite foods, point to what she wanted, and walk across the room.

And we hit our stride.

I’m sure there are many parents who do not love toddlerhood. Eighteen months is a challenging age. Some parents love newborn age, some like school age (this will be K’s favorite I bet). I am a toddler-lover through and through. M is so much dang fun.

I love that she can communicate- even when I don’t know what she’s saying. Sometimes she’s crying because there’s a thread on her pants- but you know what? I know why she’s crying and that’s such a relief. She’s feisty and inquisitive. She loves doing everything herself… but wants mom or dad close by. She follows the dogs around and expects them to follow her. She can point to and name her body parts. She loves to figure out how something works. She likes to help with everything. She tells us when she’s ready for bed (even if she’s not sold on it when it’s actually time to sleep). She’s down for any adventure. She really is such a fun kid and such a fun age.

SO… for all the struggles and tears and complaining I did 1 year ago, let me just share what a good time we’re having right now. Sure, it’s not always easy. We have tantrums and breakdowns. But dang, it’s rewarding with M. She’s one of my favorite people to hang out with.

I might be singing another tune when we potty train… or transition from crib to bed… or start thinking about preschool. But for now? I am one happy human with my sassy little toddler.

*For those that struggle with toddlerhood, it will change. I would never paint a rosier picture than it really is, but I wanted to share that motherhood isn’t miserable forever and ever with no moments of joy.

4 thoughts on “Infant Days: The Epilogue

  1. I can definitely imagine the toddler phase being fun… challenging, but fun. Watching their little personalities emerge, finally being able to understand them (at least some of the time). Hopefully by the time M sees your posts she’ll be secure enough in your love for her to take it as it was meant. Honestly the idea of having a newborn terrifies me. Something so small and fragile being entirely dependent on me? Eeek! Although pregnancy is even more terrifying – at least once they’re on the outside you can see that they’re still breathing, etc. Who knows what’s going on inside the uterus! (That may be past trauma speaking…)

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    1. Seeing her personality emerge is my favorite part. I love learning more about who she is and who she’s going to be 🙂 I was nervous in the newborn stage but more than anything I just felt out of control. I hated that. I hated having no knowledge on ANYTHING I was doing. Her helplessness and fragility didn’t bother me as much as my own insecurities did.
      Pregnancy was nerve-wracking for me, too. But I know you’re feeling it 10xs more ❤

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  2. I love that you’re so open and honest, and I think M will be when she’s older too. I mean, it’s not like parents tell their older kids “you were so great all the time!” hah I think we realize that it’s not always a picnic being a parent. At any rate, I think it’s great when people – parents or otherwise – can be honest about their struggles. We all have them, and it’s nice when more people don’t try and paint a prettier picture than is reality.

    Lauren
    http://www.shootingstarsmag.net

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    1. Thanks, Lauren!
      Hopefully M will always feel like she can come to me with the ugly stuff and we’ll work through it. Everyone goes through the tough stuff and it’s way easier to do it alongside someone who loves you.

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