Some nights, while I rock M to sleep, I think about what would make me happy. Not in that moment exactly, but in life. And it’s a tough question to answer, because I’m very happy. I have a family that I couldn’t have designed more perfectly, we live comfortably, and I have a job I enjoy (although it’s extremely stressful right now). But as far as material and lifestyle choices, what could I be doing differently to facilitate more joy?
I know the adage about money/things/etc. not being able to make you happy, and to an extent I agree, but having the right things (or nixing the wrong things) can absolutely affect your happiness. So while I think the human/animal ratio is spot on for me, the s t u f f could always be more tailored.
I’m sitting in an armchair in the corner of my bedroom typing this. There is a big bowl of popcorn beside me, it’s storming outside, and both dogs are snoozing within 5 feet of me. This is a dreamlike moment for me. So how do I capture this coziness and keep it going always?
Late September to early March will always be my favorite time because I think it’s easier to be cozy and chill. (I know the seasonal depression people are scoffing at me- my husband is one of them.) I wasn’t sure how I’d handle camper life when we first bought it last year, but being in the camper is one of my favorite places. It’s small, cozy & organized, filled with comfy things, and it has a fireplace. I love it.
I don’t believe that wanting material things makes you vain or unhappy. I dream of some day building a home that gives me the same comfortable vibe as our camper. I want a wardrobe that is more me and less comfy mom/quarantine hag. (Not a bigger wardrobe- a smaller, different one.) None of this is a priority and it doesn’t make me unhappy to not have it, but it’s something that brings me joy to dream about. And I don’t think we give enough credit to those materialistic dreams and tangible goals. I think we sometimes feel shameful about wanting more/different things.
When I’m rocking M I simply have more brain space and less outside noise to work with. I can pray or dream or plan without someone needing a snack or their nose wiped or the backdoor opened to go potty (kid or dog? You decide). It’s a moment of solace where I get to think about me. And also hold the most important thing in the world. And I love that even more than a cozy writing corner during a thunderstorm 🖤
What are your material-based dreams and goals?
(Happy Gotcha Day to Bristol!)
10 Comments Add yours
It is always good to have a material based dream. Sometime if I think what I want and I do not find anything that, I feel lost. Then I am confused am I loosing interest in life. Some materialistic dream is always good.
I think making goals that result in change inside and outside of our bodies is a good habit.
I think in general the world expects women in particular not to want period, or to be quiet about it when they do. This post voices something I think about a lot. It’s okay to like things and want things. It can also be a great motivator.
I want a different house in my shore town, with a little yard for the dogs (and when I say little I do sincerely mean that – yards are extremely scarce here! Patch of grass will do). I want new floors in my house now.
I agree. Be happy with what you have and all that. I AM happy and very grateful for what I have- and I voice that often- but there are definitely physical things that I want in life (just like EVERYONE) and it’s not shallow or materialistic to have those kinds of ambitions.
Having a yard for dogs is fantastic! I hope you guys have that at the shore someday!
I love this. There is nothing wrong with having material or tangible dreams and goals. I would say pretty much everyone does. I would love to have a place someday with a really big, soaker tub. I think it would be really relaxing and helpful for all my body aches due to fibromyalgia, etc. It would be practical but also just a luxury to have.
A soaker tub is on my list, too.
I think everyone has these kinds of goals, too. I think the world just wants to make us feel shallow or materialistic for having them. Which is silly- because social media was literally MADE to flaunt these kinds of things. *eyeroll* It’s perfectly normal to want and STILL be grateful for what we have.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting material things! My current dreams are all furniture related – a nice dining table (current one is IKEA’s cheapest), new, comfortable sofa. We’ve already ordered a cabinet thing for the dining room and I’m beyond excited for it to be delivered – although it will be a while. The current delivery estimate is end of December!
I think curating a space where you are happy and comfortable is a tangible goal that definitely helps improve inner happiness! A new sofa and dining room table sound LOVELY! So exciting about the cabinets!!
You know, this is such a good question – it’s one I’m going to have to ponder. As you say, it’s also so important to take stock of what we have as well.
It really is! I think I’m a minimalist at heart but I don’t have the skills yet to put that into practice. I think cultivating what you have is just as important as having things at all. It’s definitely a balance. And intangible goals are sooooo important and enriching.