I Can’t Find the Balance

Life has most certainly changed since adding “mom” to my resume. I was stressed and tired before I had a child. I am stressed and tired now that I have a child. Lol. My time is completely monopolized by a small human and when I’m not with her I’m working.

I had no intention of taking such a huge step back from the blog world. I don’t feel bad about it or pressure to come back/keep up, but I’m sad that I don’t have much time or energy for this outlet. I’d like to prioritize it more. I’d like to prioritize reading more. My time was not my own for a long time after M arrived. Most of time it’s still not, but we do have a better handle on it. I’m back to work, Maddie has a real bedtime, and she takes naps… so I’ve got a small amount of wiggle room for me time 😉

The balance between being an employee and being a mom is much, much tougher for me. I won’t lie- I thought I’d miss work and long to go back and be absolutely ok with sharing M with sitters/family/daycare. And all of that has been true but it’s not that simple.

I miss my kid. I’m jealous of the snuggles other people get. I’m grateful for the break, but I don’t like being away from her. I feel like I’m halfass-ing the mom thing.

I’m lucky to be back to work on a part time basis; I stay home/hang out with M two days a week. I love that time with her. But I feel like a halfass employee. I hate missing meetings and being out of the loop for a day or two. My emails pile up, I know there are people covering my jobs, I miss the camaraderie of being with my coworkers every day.

So as my title suggests, I can’t find the balance. I think it might be a unicorn kind of thing… I don’t know that one exists. “Balance” is the wrong word. I think it’s more like a formula- and I think it’s something everyone has to tailor to their own needs, wants, desires, & aspirations. And I’m still figuring out what those things are.

Anyway, my goal right now is to get back into the things that makes me happy when I can spare a free moment. Reading, blogging, writing, scrapbooking. Maybe not everything at once, but definitely the former two right now. So here I am blogging- and I’ll be here on Thursday, too.

I’ll see you then 😊

5 Years of Blogging

October 20th marks five years of blogging at Life as Louise. I had blogs before this one, but this is my most successful, longstanding blog. Five years feels like forever, but it also barely feels like anything.

I love writing and that’s why I started a blog. I scrapbook, so I wasn’t in it for the “record keeping” aspect. That said, I love that I have posts here that mean the world to me. I wrote this about Lylee over four years ago. I wrote this letter to our future kid(s) long before we dreamed of the one on the way. It’s nice to have these words to look back on.

I started writing because it’s an enjoyable outlet. I wasn’t looking to be popular or famous (which is great, because I’m not). That said, I feel like I have made some true, amazing, beautiful friends in this world. Over the past five years I’ve joined pen pal groups, package exchanges, link-ups, and more. I have received birthday cards and gift, sympathy cards, just-because goodies, and thoughtful presents for our baby. I never dreamed of a community like this and I’m grateful for all of you. You’re incredible people & I feel lucky to know you.

Thank you for being a part of my last 5 years. Through the good and bad and meh, I feel so lucky to have had this space to share and rant and unwind. Blogging has changed a lot over the years but I’ve found comfort in this corner of the internet and I’m very grateful for that.

Spread a Little Sunshine…

When I first started blogging I got nominated for the Sunshine Award that floats around blogland every few months/years. I think it’s a cute little award because a) it means some blogger somewhere is thinking of you & your blog and b) you get to answer some tag questions (and who doesn’t enjoy that?!). Anyway, Bev from Confuzzledom tagged me for the award a few weeks ago ❤︎

sunshine blogger

The rules are… thank the blogger who tagged ya, answer your 11 questions, ask 11 more bloggers 11 new questions, and display the Sunshine Award. Easy peasy lemon squeezy.

1) What is the best book you’ve read so far in 2018?
My two 5 star books of the year so far are HP & the Chamber of Secrets, which was a reread, and Three Dark Crowns.

2) If you could have any animal as a pet what would it be?
(In this imaginary scenario you have the perfect conditions to keep it happy and healthy and there is no danger of being eaten.)
Let’s be real… probably a fox. But I also would love to have a hawk. I think they’re stunning. And also a wolf. And a mountain lion. Pretty much any animal… (I’m a firm believer in letting wildlife be wild. I know you can own foxes and hawks. I never will.)

3) What food could you happily eat every day?
Ice cream. Rice. Chips & salsa. Not together, of course.

4) What is your favourite thing about the place you live?
I like the size of my town. I also love all the hills, trees, and farmland on the outskirts of town. And I love living in the Midwest.

5) Where were you born?
Born & raised in Ohio.

6) Are you eating or drinking anything right now?
Coffee, per usual. Lol

7) What is one talent you wish you had?
I wish I could play the piano. I also wish I could speak another language (German) fluently. Technically those are both things I could work on…

8) Do you have a favourite board game?
It used to be Life, but I really like any board game. Clue is another fav. And Trivial Pursuit. K hates playing board game, though.

9) What is your favourite thing about blogging?
All the friends I’ve made. I also love the creative outlet.

10) What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever eaten?
Probably chocolate covered crickets in 6th grade biology. But I’ve also had snails, turtle soup, alligator bites, and a small piece of a dog treat. *shrug*

11) If you won a large sum of money, what’s the first thing you would do?
In this order… buy land in the country and open a no kill shelter/sanctuary for dogs & cats & farm animals, build Kyle a large garage and let him fill it with cars he loves, pay off debt for my parents, in-laws, and siblings.

Those were fun! Thanks again, Bev!!

Eleven bloggers is a lot to tag so I’m going to nominate/tag some friends who I know enjoy questions like these. But please play along, too, if you want to answer them! Don’t be shy!

Alright Tanya (A Mindful Migration) & Stephanie (Not Entirely Perfect) & Rebecca Jo (Knit by God’s Hand) & Nadine (Life by Nadine Lynn), here are your questions:

1) If you didn’t have to sleep, what would you do with that time?
2) If you were transported to another decade, which decade would you choose?
3) What’s something you wish you knew more about?
4) Would you rather live in a castle, mountain cottage, seaside bungalow, or Beverly Hills mansion?
5) What’s a food that you hated as a kid and love as an adult?
6) Are there any “mythical creatures” (big foot, unicorns, ghosts) that you believe in?
7) What is something about you that people think is weird?
8) If you had to move out of your city/town, where would you choose to live?
9) What’s your favorite television channel?
10) What is your favorite dessert food?
11) What’s your favorite kind of writing to do? (i.e. blog post, creative, letter, etc.)

If you ladies don’t want to answer the questions I will definitely not be heartbroken 🙂 All for fun.