I’m Not A Lot of Fun to Be Around

This week M was diagnosed with an inner ear infection. (It’s her second one ever.) We’ve been having some rough nights so I’m actually relieved to find out there’s a reason for the sleeplessness. This ear infection follows a few weeks of the stomach flu (for all of us), insane allergies, and sickness amongst our extended families. Add lack of sleep, missed days of work, and backyard battles between Bristol and the groundhogs… and you’ve got a very grumpy Audrey.

I’d love to say I’m holding it together with the grace of a good Christian Pinterest-mom, but I am very much not. I apologized to K and said, “I know I’m not a lot of fun to be around around.” He informed me that I wasn’t wrong.

How does Joanna Gaines do it? Believe me when I say I am not jealous of her- five children and a home/media conglomerate is not my dream. But is there a Hearth & Hand collection of boxed Gaines-energy…? Because I’d like to order a set.

I have my strengths but I have my weakness, too, and sometimes they shine bright like a diamond. I feel like I’m dropping the ball more often than balancing it. *And it’s a boulder. It might just be a weird stage of pandemic life. I hope it’s just a weird stage of pandemic life. Or maybe this is the new normal as a mom of a toddler who doesn’t sit still EVER.

My kitchen is messy. Our toilets need bleached. I don’t know the last time M “brushed” her teeth. The dogs are behind on flea & tick AND Enzo has an infection. PLUS the deep freeze lost power and I need to scrub the rotten blood out of it. Not to mention the garden beds have weeds, the vacuum is collecting spider webs, and there are actual spiders that M enjoys watching living between the glass and screen in the windows.

I’m like a less glamorous, mildly disgusting Morticia Addams.

Then, this week, someone told me that they think really highly of me.

And it caught me completely off guard.

I try to be very real online and IRL. I try to share the dirt as often as I do the highlights. So… it was just an incredibly flattering compliment from a distant friend (who is equally more so killing it out there in the world).

And so, even if your porcelain bowl is a little more marbled, please know that someone out there thinks you’re doing a swell job. Maybe it’s your spouse, maybe it’s an internet friend, maybe it’s your cat. But someone is cheering for you.

Have a super weekend ❤️

Thankful Thursday

Happy Friday Eve ❤️ I actually don’t like calling it that because I think it slights Thursday, but oh well.

I’m linking up with Rebecca Jo today with a gratitude list.

Family that’s always available and willing to watch Moo. We’ve had some weird, inconsistent weeks lately so M has spent quality time with family. I don’t take their flexibility, patience, or proximity for granted.

My Freelance Job. On a whim I applied and was hired for a freelance position with a local news website that is specifically aimed at moms. I write informative campaigns, not opinion pieces. It’s nice to flex my writing muscles and put my spin on every day topics and news.

Bristol the Pistol. Bristol turned 2 last month and started (her second attempt at) obedience school this month. She’s a Husky-handful through and through, but she’s a good girl. And she is incredible with M. Moo is testing limits and in an aggressive-love phase, but Bristol is a champ.

The B to my D. Both of my best friends are marrying the loves of their lives this year 😊 My best friend Aubrey is tying the knot in SEVEN MONTHS and just asked me to be a part of the wedding party. She and her fiancee have a combined wedding party- only people they both know and love. I am so damn honored to be one of these people. I’ve known Aubrey since we were 10 and seeing her with Megan makes my heart so happy. Once she’s hitched, Aub, Kayla, and I will officially have all been in each other’s weddings 🖤

New Book Club. I love my blog friends and I LOVE being in a book club with my blog friends. In the time of corona I will take any safe get-together I can find, but it’s 100xs better when it’s with my internet friends.

What are you feeling grateful for?

A Grateful Heart

I’m not trying to kick a limp cactus here, but 2020 has been a weird year.

It feels like my insides are a big ball of tangled yarn that just keeps getting bigger & messier. Pretty much like this:

I’m struggling with isolation, social and civil unrest, interpersonal problems, parenting hurdles… but at the same time I’m trying to find serenity and routine and contentment. As K put it last night, “Your [my] brain is not a fun place to be right now.”

But sometimes I can straighten out a squiggly line or two with a little gratitude. So that’s what we’re doing today.

This week I am grateful for:

My husband. Forever and always. That guy is always in my corner and I know how special that is. I am so grateful for his love and trust and loyalty. M is one lucky girl to have a dad like him.

My small town. Every time I go to a large city I feel grateful to live in a small town. Roadside ice cream stands, town square car shows, a lively and beautiful park. It feels like our town grows and improves every year. I feel lucky to raise M in a relatively safe community like ours.

Friends who help carry burdens, encourage growth, and celebrate little moments. 

My “new” car. K traded in our work truck and my daily driver for a new pick-up. So I got the Jeep Grand Cherokee that he’d been driver. I love it soooooo much!

Family members who watch M during the week. I work M/W/F and M hangs out with family on those days. It’s a relief to know she’s safe and loved and snuggled while we’re earning a paycheck.

Healthy communication. The ability and freedom to speak my mind, the education and patience to discuss my opinions and beliefs, and the humility to listen and learn from others. (Granted, I’m always working on humility and education… lol.)

I was going to say my dogs… but then Bristol got into the grill grease trap and vomited all over the carpet Tuesday night. But still, I guess they can be on my list. Bristol’s love for M has been there since day 1 and I’m excited to watch them grow up together.

Of course a handful of other things: family, our healthy & safety, comfort, our jobs…

And that about sums it up for today! How about you?

I’m linking up with Rebecca Jo today for Thankful Thursday!

B*tchfest vol. 1

I feel like this could be an ongoing series.

Welcome to B*tchfest where I complain about mostly mundane, trivial, first world things. Some of these are legit, but most are dumb.

Let’s do this.

Expensive maternity clothes.
On a whim I googled “maternity jumpsuits.” Not my style but I look round anyway so whatever. The first site to pop up was HATCH. Who in their right mind spends +$200 on maternity clothes?! What the what?! I likely won’t spend that money on something I’d wear forever, let alone 4-6 months. *vomit* Hello, Amazon? It’s your friend cheap Audrey. I’ll be right over.

Speed Limit Ignorers.
I’ve always had a bit of road rage but I had to actually stop myself from getting out of my car at a red light and pounding on a truck’s window and screaming at him about his speed of 30 in a 45mph zone. Guys, my hand was on my door handle. But honestly: go the damn speed limit. You might have an angry pregnant person who is late for work (*her own fault*) behind you.

Lady pockets.
As if we don’t already get screwed in the pocket department, all three maternity jeans I own have NO front pockets (but the maternity shorts I have do have front pockets so clearly it’s possible structurally). It makes me SO mad. And the two pitiful back pockets are so shallow. Half of my phone hangs out!

Two lane drive-thrus.
I think the concept is great but I’m a rule follower and I know who gets in line after me and if they end up in front of me after we order I AM NOT OK. Also, so many people can’t figure this out. They go around cars that are clearly waiting for the exact same thing as you. And then there are people that sit and wait for the lines to move (leaving massive two or three car gaps) so they can pick one. NOPE. Pick a line and move your damn car. I get so angry in these lines.

My internal temperature/blushing.
When I was a teenager I blushed all the time. I could feel the heat start and I couldn’t stop it. At some point in my early 20s I got a handle on it. I don’t know if it was confidence or if my body just figured it out, but the excessive blushing stopped. WELL IT’S BACK NOW. I imagine it’s because there’s a bunch of extra blood in my body but I can’t have a conversation with ANYONE without blushing. Which then makes me hot. And I sweat. UGH.

Having to always go to the bathroom.
TMI? Too bad. This is my last pregnancy-related one. But seriously. Leave the house? Go potty. Arrive at destination 15 minutes away? Go potty. Stand up? Go potty. When we did our birthing class they told us that women get catheters when they have an epidural. That freaked me out at the time but now? Yes. Please. I would take that over going to the bathroom 30 times an hour.

I know there are 100 more things I could write about, but those are the ones that come to mind right now. What would you like to bitch about today?

Thankful Thursday

I can’t decide what I talk about today so I’m link up with the beautiful Rebecca Jo for her weekly Thankful Thursdays

Image result for knit by god's hand thankful thursday

Time with my brother & sister-in-law.
My brother lives two hours away and I only see him once every month or two. He came home for Mother’s Day this weekend but my mom caught the flu Friday night so Fred & Christina stayed with us Sat. & Sun. We did dinner, breakfast, and dinner again while they were here. And I finally played Ticket to Ride for the first time! I’m sad my mom was under the weather, but I had extra time with F&C because of it so… silver lining.

My friendships.
I have a very small circle of friends. (I’ve written and deleted many posts on the topic.) Even though it’s a small group, the women that surround me are incredible. They’re supportive & invested & compassionate. We’re all in totally different stages of life with major changes/growth/struggles on our plates… but I’m so grateful that they’re always there for me regardless.

Gourmet Dinner.
The way to my heart is cooking me food- specifically something I request. While I cook 70% of the time in our house, there are a handful of foods that I eff-up every time and K excels at making. Grilled cheese is one of those foods. On Tuesday, after I was feeling drained and under the weather all day, we got home from work and K made me soup and grilled cheese. I just laid on the couch while he made it AND brought it to me. Literally the best.

What are you thankful for this week?