1461+ Days of Anger

I am so tired of being angry. The body isn’t made for four years of anger and fear and frustration. I know I am not alone & I know it’s a privilege to just declare that I’m done being angry (I’m not). But dammit… my body and mind are so worn out. And the treasonous morons in the Capitol Building this week stirred up the waters that had since calmed in November.

I have noticed that I spend a lot of time policing my anger. I am gracious and polite to people who would not and do not extend the same courtesy to me. It sucks my energy and my patience, and by the time I get home to my family- the people who matter more to me than anyone or anything in the world- I have nothing left for them. I’m exhausted and short tempered and checked out.

Seems backward to me.

And so I just cannot and will not do it. They will see the judgement on my face when they say something terrible. My absence will be felt where I do not feel comfortable. My friend lists and following tab will diminish. And I don’t feel bad. Because my people get my good and gracious energy- not the world.

I am a dedicated subscriber to “If you can’t say something nice…” and “Kindness is always cool”, but I’m also a pretty big fan of “Take no sh*t.” And so I’m moving forward with a reservation and preservation for self. And I’m teaching M that in addition to telling men where to go when they suggest she “smile more”, she’s also under no obligation ever to stick around when she’s uncomfortable nor grin-and-bear-it when people are being especially cruel and hateful.

I’m tired of being nice.

How to Piss Me Off

Catchy title, right? The other day I was thinking about all the things that INSTANTLY piss me off. I could lie and say it’s a short list but that’d be… well… a lie. But I’ll try to edit it #fortheblog.

When someone tosses their cigarette out the window.
When people ask me why I don’t have children.
When someone other than me or K yells at my dogs.
When I turn down alcohol and people immediately want to know why.
When someone says something will cost one price, and then somehow that number doubles.
Domestic abuse.
People being rude or impatient for no bloody reason.
When someone says, “She must be on her period….”
When people use marriage or kids as a success benchmark.
When people dismiss or discredit mental health, therapy, and medication.
When people abandon animals. Or abuse them. << that makes me murderous
When people talk down about their body.
When someone cuts me off on the road.
When someone tries to one-up me on tiredness or stress or whatever.
When K leaves his shoes in the dining room.
When Lylee ignores me and won’t come in the house.
(Enzo never pisses me off. He’s an angel.)
Racism, sexism, homophobia, extreme nationalism, xenophobia… etc.
Love triangles in books.
People who listen to videos in public w/o headphones.
When one person sh*ts all over another person to make themself feel/look better.
When men call women chatty or catty. (Sorry bro, dudes have those traits, too.)
Our government.
When I stub my toe.
When my teeth or ears hurt- INSTANT bad mood.
When my hair gets tangles for no g.d. reason.
When people assume I’m a secretary. Nothing wrong with a secretary AT ALL, but my title is Director of Operations because I am the Director of Operations.
When my phone drops a call.
When smart people act stupid.
When I have to repeat myself because you’re not listening.
When people in the two-lane fast food drive thrus don’t get it.
When I vacuum or clean and then a dog pukes.

How’s THAT for an uplifting blog post? Lol.┬áThis is all in fun (kind of?). No one has made me mad today… yet.

What pisses you off?