Showing Up & Being A Friend

I scheduled this post to go live at noon because about an hour ago my best friend and I showed up on an island 600+ miles from home to surprise our other best friend. I highly doubt she’d have read my blog this morning, but we’ve been working on making this happen for a few months now and I didn’t want to be the one to blow it. Shout out to Kayla for making the long-ass through-the-night drive with me & to Megan for essentially putting this whole thing into motion.

A big theme in blog world is finding your people or finding your tribe or keeping close to framily or… You know what I mean. We call them different things, but they’re the people that (usually) aren’t related by blood that we’d do absolutely anything for.

I had lots of friends in school and I hopped around a lot. In elementary school I considered a girl named Lindsey to be my bff (but I had many, many close friends). In middle school I fell in with a girl named Ali. In high school my best friend’s name was Sam & in college it was Sarah. I still talk to those woman, sometimes often (except one- which hopefully maybe will change as we get older?), but we’re not best friends and we’ve all gone our separate ways and we’re doing really well.

It makes me sad that young Audrey let those relationships crumble, but I also know that some people are in our lives forever and some aren’t, and there are different levels of involvement those people have throughout our lives.

That makes me all the more grateful when I think about my people right now. We show up for each other’s birthdays. When we get a few free minutes we hop on the phone and try to catch up between meal prep or kids’ doctor appointments or client visits. Anything noteworthy is immediately shared in the group text where successes are celebrated and disappointments are lamented. We’re spread out and busy, but we make the time because we love one another.

Also, I LOVE blogging because I’ve met so many amazing, supportive, genius, beautiful, strong women here! (And you guys showering me with birthday wishes last week made my heart burst.) So I fully believe tribes can be found off and online, as well as with people you haven’t met face-to-face.

What I’m getting at here is: Find your people. Find your tribe. Grow your family to framily. Invest in the bank of friendship and don’t be afraid to ask for that love and support back- it’s why they’re there. And if things change that’s ok. People change and circumstances change. You know the people you know for a reason- even if it’s not forever.

So send a text to your friend or give them a call. Hell, write them a letter! (I love getting letters.) Remember to show up & make the time & give the energy. Be there when they need you most and accept them into your space when things aren’t going well. It really is what friends are for ❤

Promises to My “Adult” Best Friends

First and foremost, best friends are awesome. Some lucky folks have had their best friends for decades and some people find their (friendship) soul mates later in life. It doesn’t matter where you found them, it just matters that you get each other and you’d do anything for one another.

All the lists I read regarding best friends and being loyal include things like:

– I will tell you when he is bad idea
– I will hold your hair back in the basement of any fraternity
– I will help you study until 3am in the lonely library

These are awesome friendship qualities when you’re getting through college or thoroughly “enjoying” your twenties, but what about your adult BFF?

Here’s my adult edition…

1. I promise to always answer your text/call/email/Facebook comment…eventually
I might not get to it until I clock out. I might have passed out at 8:30pm and I’ll reply at 6am as I start the shower. It may take 2 days, but I will respond.

2. I promise to make time for Girls’ Night
We might have to reschedule if your kid gets sick or your husband has the night off, but we will meet and enjoy wine and binge on nachos and complain about husbands/boyfriends/people.

3. I will never judge your martial/relationship problems
Speaking of men… I will never ever judge your weird sex stories or commitment doubts. I WILL offer advice and let you know if I think you’re making a bad decision or I think you are in harm’s way… but I will only tell you these things because I love you and I want you to be happy in the end.

4. I will hate your ex with you
This is totally petty, but I will hate on your ex with you. I will ignore him in public and shoot him the same dirty looks I perfected in the halls of high school. Additionally, I will hate on your significant other’s ex with you because sometimes you just need to hate on someone.

5. I will always pass on “good things” to you
If I read a good book or make a good dinner or stumble upon a good blog I promise to pass it on to you.

6. I will go with you
This is an important one- Of course I will go shopping with you or to the movies, but I will also come with you to an exercise class or awkward family function or scary doctor appointment. All you have to do is ask and we can down a bottle of wine and face it together.

7. I will harass you
Thinking about getting a dog from a breeder? I will harass you so much about not adopting. Did you cry for no reason on New Years Eve when the ball dropped? Yep, you’re never living that down. I am harassing you because I love you (and I expect to get it back) and I know you can take it because you’re a tough cookie.

8. I will visit you and/or keep in touch- no matter where we end up
Technology makes it kind of easy, but I will also strive for face-to-face visits, too.

9. I will love your children
When we get to the point of having babies just know that I will always love your offspring. I will babysit for free, shower them with birthday gifts, and take them to the zoo. I love you and they are a part of you. I will never put your kid down or judge your baby names or scold you for formula feeding. I will offer advice but I will always respect your decisions.

10. When things get bad you can lean on me
As we age, so do those around us. When your spouse gets sick or your family members pass away I will be there for you to talk with or cry to. If divorce happens I will stand by your side and coach you through. If your child gets hurt I will do everything I can to help you. Good, bad, easy, hard- I’ll be there.

I have several friends in mind as I type and read over my list. How blessed I am to have friends that would return each and every promise ❤

 -Louise