Chats with K and more…

First order of business: Happy Birthday, Mom!
Secondly: K is my husband.

My mom called me but the call dropped almost immediately. Then she called back.
Me: Hello again.
Mom: Where ARE you??!
Me: Mom… you’re the one who dropped the call.
Mom: I know. I just wondered where you are.

. . .

While watching the Super Bowl in overtime.
Me: What the heck. Falcons had this. I don’t like Tom Brady. He’s a poophead.
K: A poophead, eh? That’s harsh.

. . .

Me: Self-pity doesn’t look good on you.
K: Everything looks good on me. Except sweaters.

. . .

K’s grandparents dropped off some candy at the office for us.
K: Do you have any Valentine’s Day candy left?
Me: …yes. What are you in the market for?
K: I’ll trade you these Skittles for something.
Me: You know I don’t eat Skittles.
*K gets up and starts to walk over.*
Me: Hey! Sit back down. You don’t get to raid my inventory.

. . .

Me: Alright, we’ve got to figure out lunch because I’m dying.
K: I’m not hungry yet.
Me: Fine. I’ll just get myself food. Maybe a bento box from Katana.
K: Get me a Hollywood roll.
Me: At this rate why don’t we just go eat there?!
K: I’m still full from my McDonald’s.
Me: AND THE TRUTH COMES OUT. No wonder you’re not hungry. You’ve been holding out on me.

. . .

Me: What would you do if I died?
K: Right now?
Me: Yes.
K: Probably drive you to a hospital.
Me: ….okay. I mean long term.
K: Oh. I don’t know.

. . .

We were sitting with a financial advisor discussing IRAs and K’s overall worth due to the business. The advisor stepped out of the office to get something and left us alone.
K (quietly): I’m worth more to you alive than dead.
Me: That’s true. For now…

. . .

I made a cleaning list to keep myself accountable. But then K saw it and decided to initial next to the chores he had completed.

And to be clear, by initialing next to “Load/Unload Dish Washer” he literally put his dinner plate in the rack. That’s it.

. . .

I’m glad we get each other’s somewhat dark humor. Ha.

Chats with K

If this is your first time ever coming to my blog then you should know that K is my husband.

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. . .

K: So… when do you think your bangs are going to grow out again?
*I slowly turn my head and glare at him*
K: …….asking for a friend.

. . .

Pillow talk…
Me: I’m going to get my brother a Foot Cardigan subscription for Christmas.
K *lightly punches my pillow*: You’re a jerk! I wanted that!
Me: Kyle… I can get more than one person a subscription.
K: Yeah but you won’t. You love him more than me.
*turns over in bed and pouts*

For the record, they both got a subscription.

. . .

I get a text from K while we’re both at work…
K: What’s your Amazon Prime login?
*I tell him and 10 minutes go by…*
Then I receive an email notification that my purchase has been confirmed:

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“Sequin Candy Cane Black Suit Jacket”

. . .

K: I feel like this reminds me of you:

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Me: Ha! Yeah… I saw a meme the other day that said, “Wife goes out for milk and comes home with a puppy. Husband says, ‘I thought you were going for milk!’ Then the wife says ….” I forget how it ends.
K: That was so terrible.

. . .

Life’s an adventure with this guy… ha.

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Chats with K (Roadtrip Edition)

If this is your very first time ever coming to my blog then you should know that K is my husband.

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During lunch at Boardwalk on the Beach.
K *slides car keys to me*: My beer is 10% alcohol…
Me: Well I just ordered moonshine so… it appears we’ll be shopping a little longer.

. . .

As we’re leaving the hotel for the day…
Me: Got a room key?
K: Yeah.
Me: Car key?
K: Yeah.
Me: Phone?
K: Yes, dear. Anything else?
Me: …got your wallet?
K: Yes.
Me: Then I think we’re all good!

. . .

We were discussing a 2017 wedding in which we’re helping with the canine attendant.
Me: This is like your dream wedding, Mr. Anti-Social! You can avoid all the guests because you’re bringing a dog to the wedding!
K: I always bring a dog to weddings.
Me: You are not funny.

. . .

I would bet that this man has NEVER made cookie dough.
I guarantee this smart-aleck has never made cookie dough in his life.

. . .

During the Halloween party.
Party guest: Do you guys have some drinks or liquor?
My brother: I have never known this house not to have alcohol in it.*

*Taken as a compliment, yo.

. . .

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Sometimes we make big decisions together. Sometimes he talks to my dad.

. . .

Never a dull moment, guys…

Happy Hump Day!

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Chats with K + other conversations

If this is your very first time ever coming to my blog then you should know that K is my husband.

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. . .

I had an eye doctor appointment recently and I decided not to wear mascara that morning so he’d have a clear canvas to exam. Halfway through the exam he told me I needed to open my eyes wider because my eyelashes were so long 😀 I don’t think he necessarily meant it as a compliment, but I took it as such!

. . .

K was in the shower and I was bringing him a pair of shorts from the laundry room.
Me: Hey, my mom brought us donuts but they messed yours up- it’s chocolate frosting instead of maple.
K *sticks head out of curtain & has a shampoo mohawk*: That’s unacceptable.
Me: …I can’t take you seriously.

. . .

K: I need you to keep the house stocked with some things at all times.
Me: Um… What?
K: Oreos.
Me: I thought you were going to start eating better.
K: Yeah, plus Oreos.

. . .

Via text – K was home for lunch & I was at work.
Me: Pull the chicken out of the freezer so it’ll thaw for dinner.
K: Why chicken? I thought we were having hello giggles for dinner.
Me: We are. And it’s HelloFresh. And the chicken is part of it.

. . .

K texted and asked me when I’d be home from my hair appointment:

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. . .

The show K was watching ended and the production co. ads started playing for the movie on next
K: Alright, time for bed.
Me: Nah, sit down here and watch whatever movie this is so I can read a bit.
*I take the remote and hit “INFO”*
K: No, I don’t want to- *reads ‘Smokey and the Bandit’ * – DAMMIT.
Me: See you in a few hours!

. . .

Sometimes we go to local open houses on Sunday afternoons- just because we like to.
K: Why are you bringing your purse in?
Me: Because I have pig-tails in my hair today and I thought a purse would make me look more like an adult.
K: ….you have a Batman pin on your purse.

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