Dear Meghan

I debated writing this post. I imagine we’re all tired of royal wedding talk, but I kind of love the royals (and this is my blog) so I felt an urge to write about the wedding of the year… Also, I’ve seen and heard a lot of hate talk direct at and about Meghan Markle (now Her Royal Highness, the Duchess of Sussex). If people can use their platform to say nasty things about a total stranger that they’ve never met then I can absolutely use my platform to say lovely things.

Dear Meghan,

Congratulations! I hope last Saturday was one of the happiest days of your life (and not too terribly stressful). It’s hard to remember where to stand and when to speak in a normal wedding, let alone one with the queen in attendance and a prince as the groom! I thought you were amazing and stunning and so damn beautiful- pretty much the way you appear in every public outing, actually.

I felt the urge to write because I’ve seen people say some pretty terrible things about you or Harry or you and Harry. I can’t quite understand that. I’ve seen the word “trash” thrown around quite a bit and I’m trying to figure that out. If it’s your beautiful bi-racial ancestry that they’re so wrapped up in then I think we can chalk them up to racist garbage humans. If it’s because you’re an intelligent, take-no-sh*t, self-made woman (if I had a drink for every time I heard THAT phrase on Saturday… I’d still be drunk), then I think we can probably also toss them and their opinions in the garbage.

Personally, I find you lovely. I like your passion and your outspokenness. I love your ripped jeans and messy bun style. I love the way you and Harry look at one another. If Harry is the people’s prince then you are most certainly the world’s princess. (I know, I know… technically you’re not a princess.) All that to say, you being you under all the pressure is incredible.

I think I should add that I love your sister-in-law, too. The Duchess of Cambridge is a badass in her own right and I love that you four (I’m including the boys, of course) seem to be such jolly mates. I don’t compare you to one another and I find that you’re both incredible role models. (If I have kids I hope that they see you all and your charity and selflessness as traits they’d like to embody.)

I’m confident that marriage won’t make you shy away from activism. You’re a blessing to that royal family and it was so fun (and historic!) to see a great family become even greater. It will be so much fun to watch you change the world. I love that you already have.

So anyway… thank you for being a GOOD American featured in the news for once. Our country needs a few shining lights and I think you are one. Also, if princesses still have ladies-in-waiting and you need one send me an email. Just saying. Until then, enjoy marriage! It’s fun and exciting and so rewarding!

Let me know about the l-i-w thing. Talk to ya soon.


P.S. I love that you have a rescue dog. I am also available for the role of royal rescue dogs’ care taker. Just FYI.

I love the princes. I think William and Kate are stunning. I woke up early when I was in college to watch the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge tie the knot. I think that Harry, while a (lovable) trouble maker for a bit, is such a wonderful soul. And Meghan… don’t even get me started. The royal family is gaining a badass and I hope they don’t take that for granted.

I really did see a ton of negative things out there about the newest royal (and heard a few in person that I promptly shot down). That kind of racism/sexism/classism annoys the crap out of me. So here I am, attempting to put some positivity into the world 😉

So tell me, did you watch the royal wedding? Did you make it past the procession without crying? I did not… LOL

Dear Sister

In exactly six month K and I will travel to Columbus, Ohio to kick off the wedding celebration for my brother & his fiancee. In six months we will run through the whole ceremony and laugh about tripping down the aisle or crying through the vows and toast to the lovebirds at their rehearsal dinner. And then the next day I will watch my baby brother become a “husband.” (Excuse me for just a moment… my eyes started sweating suddenly.)

Before I got married I had 0 sisters. Right now I’m sitting pretty with two beautiful women to call “sis” thanks to K’s side of the family. In July my family gets to add to our mix. My parents get to become “in-laws” again and I will gained another sibling. For 21 years it was me and Fred so all these “new” siblings are quite a change.

But this wedding will be a little different for all of us. Like I said… it’s always been me and Fred. Always. In 2013 I changed that by marrying Kyle but nothing changed for Fred (except the addition of a brother). He was still just my brother. My brother. I didn’t have to share him. But in July my brother- my mom and dad’s son… their last unwed child- is going to become a husband. And a son-in-law. And a brother-in-law. And two families are going to be interconnected by one young couple. And it’s just a little weird for this big sister. But weird in a good way.

And here’s what my newest sister needs to know:

Dear Sister,

For a long time I didn’t know your name. I didn’t know what you would look like or what your interests would be. I didn’t know if you were a dog person or a cat person. I had no idea if you enjoyed movies or reading or art or theater.

But then my baby brother met you and fell very, very hard for you. And I finally met you!  And now I know your name. And thank the heavens above:  You are, in fact, a dog person ❤︎

For whatever reason you’ve decided to marry my quirky brother. He’s an odd bird, but that’s what makes him so darn special. He puts all his energy into his projects and focuses on something until it’s done. His Halloween costumes, jack-o-lantern carvings, engineering projects, and artistic designs alway come out just as he imagined. It’s a little annoying how good he is at creating his vision.

My brother is much more sensitive than I am. He has my dad’s passion and my mom’s reactions. I do, too, but my personality comes across differently. He’s quick to anger but also quick to cool off… He’s a very forgiving soul. That’s pretty rare.

My brother has always been the dependent one. I mean that in a good, trusting way. He wants to help others and isn’t afraid to ask for help. When I was a kid I avoided hugs and flinched at the touch of others, but my brother would crawl on my mom’s lap and cuddle for hours. He’s loyal and trusting and dedicated- you really can’t ask for much more in a husband.

My brother is an amazing friend. He doesn’t shy away from uncomfortable situations and he’s bound and determined to do the right thing. I don’t need to tell you that he’s a God loving/fearing/worshiping man. You know that and you help him cultivate that love. He’s very, very fortunate to have a woman to grow with spiritually.

Kylie Noelle Photography

When we were kids we weren’t allowed to bring friends on vacation because we “had each other to play with and hang out with.” Some of my parents’ rules were stupid (like leaving your cell phone on the mantel… psht), but that was a good one. My brother was my best friend growing up and he still is. I can’t imagine my childhood without Fred.

And now he’s going to marry you and you’re going to marry him. So here’s some unsolicited advice from the older sibling who’s married:

Make conscious choices. Choose to say gentle words. Choose your tone. Choose communication and choose to turn the TV off sometimes and entertain one another with stories and jokes and recaps from your day. Choose to put God first and choose prayer. Choose together which family to visit and which vacations to take. Choose a dog together and choose which battles to fight and which flames to extinguish. And above all else, choose one other. Always, always, always choose one another. Often you will be faced with that choice; choose each other.

I love my little brother and I’m very, very happy to know you do, too. Savor every single moment of life together. I’m so happy our family is growing with you!

 -Your newest sister! ❤︎


A Letter to My Children

This week I’ve been inspired by Rebecca’s post as well as The Letter Link-Up with mr. thomas & me.

I’ll start by admitting that I have some irrational or silly fears. These include horses, my dogs being sprayed by skunks, dinosaurs (yes, I know they’re extinct but what if they WEREN’T?), and someone living in our attic. The last one I have checked multiple times with a knife in hand; our house is old and it creaks.

One of my not-so-irrational fears is how my children will see themselves someday. When I was younger I had self-doubt. I doubted my intelligence, my personality, my weight, my looks, etc. I was very mean to myself (which sometimes led to me being mean to others) and very uncomfortable in my own skin. Terms related to anxiety and depression were tossed around and at one point I thought about running away.

I hate that I once felt that way. I know it pains my parents to now known all the issues I was going through. I love my life now and it makes me sad that at one point I hated it.

That being said, I have this fear that my children might feel this way one day. I will literally do everything in my power to help them avoid those feelings.

Dear Future Kiddo,

You aren’t a thought yet, so I don’t know if you will be a girl or a boy, but it doesn’t matter- we will love you regardless. I hope that you are healthy. Honestly, that’s the only thing I will hope and pray and plead for… You can be bald, tiny, big, whatever. I just hope you’re healthy. And if you’re not, we will figure it out and manage all the same.

Let’s move on.

You are coming into a very turbulent world. This world has a lot of good in it, but it also has bad. The world is filled with money problems, violence, hate, and more. There are babies having babies and children without food or homes or role models. I won’t shield you from these facts- we will talk about them and try to understand them and thank God that we are fortunate enough to be comfortable. I hope that you will learn to extend a helping hand to those that have less than you.

You will have friends and even family members that let you down. It’s your job to forgive, because you will also let people down. No matter what you do, though, your dad and I will always have your back. You will make mistakes and you will have to pay for those mistakes, and you will be in the wrong and we will have to discipline you, but we will always love you and stand by you.

Your dad is going to instill in you the importance of hard work, honesty, and practice. Boy or girl, your dad is going to stick you behind the drumset and coach you. If you hate it then we’ll find something else to work at. You don’t have to be the best, but you should strive to be better than you were yesterday. Not everyone gets a trophy and sometimes you will lose. That’s life. Losing makes winning that much sweeter. That said, winning isn’t everything. Sometimes you won’t be appreciate or recognized for something awesome that you’ve done. Your worth isn’t defined by others- you are always good enough.

Don’t compare yourself to others and don’t compare others to you. Everyone is different and we all have strengths and weaknesses. Spend your time lifting others up, not putting them down. You are a human. A creature. A creation of God. This puts you on the same playing field as a king and a homeless man. You share the same air as a dog and a lion. Everyone deserves mercy and compassion. Respect your neighbors and your pets and the environment- you can’t live without these things.

This next part is very important.

You can tell us anything. Anything. You don’t have to tell us everything, but you can tell us anything. If you are feeling sad for no reason please tell us. If you are attracted to the same sex please tell us. If you are struggling in math please tell us. If you are drunk at a party and all your friends are drunk please call your father. (DO NOT get in a car with other drunk people.) If you are in jail, please call us. If you are addicted to heroin, please tell us. Your problems, fears, struggles, joys, triumphs are ours, too.

I will apologize now because your dad and I will mess up. Probably a lot. But we will love you and we want you to love you, too.

– Future Mom

Maybe someday when we’re ready for kids I will revisit this letter (and probably cry).  Right now it was just something on my mind.

What do you tell your children as far as self-esteem goes? What do you want your future children to know?


The Letter Link-up | Mr. Thomas & Me