My Baby Shower

I haven’t had the chance to blog about our baby shower yet! My mother-in-law and mom threw me a shower in October and it was perfectly “me.”

I had practically nothing to do with this shower. I met with the moms twice, then bowed out. They put together a woodland/literature theme with all my favorite fall foods & yummy drinks. (Our nursery is woodland themed- pictures coming someday.) Imagine a crisp fall day in the forest & you’re camped out under a tree with a good book and a mug of warm coco. That was my shower.

My childhood bunny & K’s childhood bear

Baby’s Great-Grandmas

We had chili, a baked potato bar, a hot coco bar, delicious desserts, and so much more. The tables were decorated with elements from nature and children’s books and woodland animals. The facility was a winery that had a waterfall and back patio. We received so many generous gifts, too. It was overwhelming and brought me to tears.

The moms delegated help to family and friends, too. My friends put together the decadent charcuterie board & organized the games. Family members helped with food and desserts and decorations. Having such a strong, creative, generous community is such a blessing- I feel very blessed to bring our little girl into this circle of incredible women (and men- my brother, dad, father-in-law, and husband helped, too!).

How You Know It’s Time

First and foremost, this is all in good fun.

After talking with K (who happens to be my boss & husband), we decided that it’d be safe and good for me to start maternity leave the week of Thanksgiving- with or without baby being here. We’re not sure how long I can be gone from work*, so starting leave a little early is a gift to myself. We both work more than 40 hours per week and while the house is mostly ready for a baby, I’m happy to have the extra days to clean, prep some meals, and hopefully bank some sleep and dog cuddles before baby arrives.

I am well aware that this is a luxury. I’m grateful that I have a job and a husband and coworkers that allow me this little reprieve before active motherhood.

And now, without further ado, here’s how I know it’s time to go ahead kick start maternity leave:

When you can no longer control the volume at which you huff breathe.

When you truly consider bringing your desk work into the bathroom with you because you’re in there multiple times an hour and it’s just more efficient.

When you groan as you stand, bend over, walk, sit, breathe, think….

When co-workers walk by and stop to ask if you’re ok because you’re either a) doubled over or b) trying to get baby to retract her foot from your kidney.

When the snack pile on your desk is taller and more plentiful than any paperwork pile.

When you find yourself laying on the ground with your legs up the wall (stretching) by 10 am.

When you’re answering phone calls from family and friends to talk about effacement and dilation with an open door so all your male coworkers now know about the intimate details of your cervix.

When your back aches and your only relief is having your boss apply pressure. (This is best if your boss is your husband.)

When your coworkers’ wives and girlfriends are asking why the hell you’re still putting yourself through it at work.

When you consider bringing in a towel for your desk chair, just in case your water breaks and you have to clean it up because, again, you work with all dudes and can’t imagine one of them dealing with the situation.

Don’t get me wrong… I was doing some of these things long before I was pregnant, too.

So this week I’m off completely. And while I’m uncomfortable (no baby yet as I write this), I am grateful to be uncomfortable in my own home.

*Legally I know there are maternity leave rules. Since K owns and runs the business, our situation is different. I will have to work from home off and on throughout my m/l because a) it’s a small company and only I can do some of my jobs and b) I love my husband and I don’t want to pile all my jobs on him- I want him to have some leave, too. 

I hope everyone has a Happy Thanksgiving! No thanksgiving day post from me but if baby decides to make her arrival you can find it first on IG (once we announce it) 😉 Have a safe week/weekend!

Almost There Bumpdate

Hello. It’s just pregnant ol’ me coming at ya- 38 weeks and 4 days into this adventure.

I figure now is the safest time to make an update. As in… I’m still pregnant and my brain still kind of works. Kind of.

I’m going to fashion this post like my 23 week update.

Feeling.
K will tell you that around 30-ish weeks I woke up and was suddenly pregnant. I was groaning and stiff and ouchie and super extra emotional.

These last few weeks I have felt so round and my sleep has been terrible. I blamed it on the dogs but Friday I stayed in a hotel and still slept like crap so it’s not their fault. K actually has recordings of me groaning in my sleep. Flattering.

I also caught a cold a week ago. I went to the doctor on Monday and got an antibiotic so hopefully that’s on its way out. My heartburn and indigestion are still in full force. Yay.

I make K put my shoes on whenever he’s available. I also use the bathroom roughly 4 times per hour. Woo.

Cravings/Aversions/Weight.
I’m still always in the mood for waffles. I also love cereal (sorry, Rebecca Jo) but the milk tends to give me heartburn. Also, cookies and cream ice cream is my one true love. Most of my aversions have gone away. I preferred room temp water before I was pregnant- now my water HAS to have ice in it.

The month we lost Lylee I lost weight & didn’t gain for nearly 4 weeks. My doctors weren’t worried since a) there was a reason (grief) and b) I still measured the right size. Since then everything has been normal. I’m up about 30 lbs from my pre-pregnancy weight.

Emotions/Mental Health.
The biggest moment here was grieving through Lylee’s loss. It was sudden and awful and traumatic for all of us. It made me completely forget about pregnancy. I wasn’t excited. I couldn’t fathom loving anyone beyond K and Enzo. I felt like an awful mother-to-be and I told K that I was struggling with identifying grief vs. depression. It was both, but fortunately I/we worked through everything.

I’ve been weepy over work stuff, too. There are some things that are up in the air. There are some exciting things on the horizon. K is juggling lots of stress… It’s just tough for me to want to step back and take maternity leave. I DO want to do that, but I like my career and it’s just been a balance issue.

Baby.
I wish she was a little less content in there, lol. We’re ready to meet her. (I didn’t think I’d feel this way but I do.) She moves around in the mornings while I’m at work and in the evenings when I’m lounging on the couch. K has felt her a few times, but she freezes up when I try to let other family members feel. Lol. Typical.

We’ve been asked a million times if she has a name. She does. We use it at home but we’re keeping it a secret until she arrives. Enzo said he told his close friends at doggie daycare but fortunately he can’t speak English.

Dad.
K is so dang ready for her to be here. Hahaha. I think I’ve mentioned this before, but his paternal instinct is much, much stronger than my maternal one. I’m not even sure he’s nervous. I know he’s excited about the forced-break from work. He finally packed his hospital bag on Tuesday and all the furniture is built so his pre-baby duties are done. (Except for putting my shoes on me…)

Other things to note.
My belly button is still in.

I’ve had so many people tell me I don’t look or act 38 weeks pregnant. I appreciate that and believe them, but I think it’s because I don’t like to show vulnerability/weakness so I put on a smile & participate in as much as I can. (I know that’s dumb.) When I’m at home? I look like this:

Hahahahahahaha.

Now that I’ve shared the unedited pregnant version of me, here are some maternity pictures!

 

Our photographer was Jackie Beachy and holy WOW, Batman. She is amazing. She’ll be doing Baby’s newborn pictures too 😍 I struggled with putting Bristol in these pictures. It felt like a betrayal to Lylee at first. I’m glad we did, though. Pictures capture where you’re at right now in life and we were a family of four with Miss Bristol by then.

And there’s the last baby update until she actually makes her arrival. (Did I freak anyone out by not posting on Tuesday? Lol. This was supposed to go live then. Oops.)

Send us your prayers, spells, wishes, & good vibes for labor and delivery. And fingers crossed it happens soon. I don’t want to waddle through Thanksgiving- lol.

StitchFix #3

Another StitchFix post, coming at ya. This one actually features a bump. Lol

I feel like my stylist listens to me for the most part, but I think she thinks I’m fancier than I actually am… Ha. If she sent me an all-loungewear or all-pajamas box I’d probably keep the whole thing.

Two things about these pictures: First, I was fresh out of the shower so my hair is wet and definitely not styled for the day, haha. Second, all the piles behind me are baby’s stuff that we pulled out of the nursery so we could paint. It’s been plaguing all my pictures and driving me nuts.

Ok. On to the clothes…

FULL MOON | Nuela Maternity One Pocket Knit Tank | Large | $44
Not really my style. Not really my color. It fit ok, but it’s not something I’d reach for in the closet.
RETURNED


And the most unflattering picture ever award goes to…

LAILA JAYDE | Pauleen Maternity Fitted Knit Dress | Large | $54
This dress was soft and probably pretty trendy but it was SO unflattering on me. It was a little big and it looked lazy on me. It hit me in all the wrong places, too. See how stubby my legs look? Also… finding a comfy bra is tough. How am I supposed to find a decent one that goes with the straps on some of these dresses?? Impossible.
RETURNED


The left is my SF pic, the right is an actual GOOD pic- lol

LUX & CO | Jaden Maternity On/Off the Shoulder Knit Top | Large | $38
I did not expect to love this shirt, but I do. It’s a pretty navy color and it’s so flattering. I wore it the first weekend I owned it. It requires a strapless bra (BLEH) but I can suffer for an afternoon picnic or outing.
KEPT obviously


LIVERPOOL | Mirabella Maternity Capri Skinny Jean | Size 12 | $74
Hahahaha… I could never justify spending that much on a pair of pants I plan to wear maybe 3 more months. Nope. Also, these were SO tight. Definitely too small. These made me look fluffy and pudgy in all the wrong places.
RETURNED


REPORT FOOTWEAR | Alexa Slip On Sneaker | Size 8 | $49
These shoes are absolutely my style. I also love the slip on feature since it’s becoming difficult to bend over. BUT they weren’t comfortable. And I had to unzip them a little to get my foot inside so they weren’t really slip on. At first sight I loved them, but not after trying them on.
RETURNED

And there we have it.

I talk about money and only wearing these clothes for a few months. I know that if I have a second or third pregnancy I can obviously pull these items back out. But I will be 100% up front with you and tell you we don’t know what the future looks like kid-wise. Which we’re totally fine with, but when it comes to clothes it’s a maybe-investment.

Including the styling fee and tax, I spent $40.76. I don’t think that’s terrible for a shirt, but probably more than I’d normally pay. I’ve paused the ‘Fixes until February (maybe longer). But if you want it, here’s my obligatory referral code: LINK.

Bummer about the shoes, right?

Things I Miss

I know way back in the day pregnant women smoked and drank, ate whatever they wanted, and did all the things. Luckies…

Don’t get me wrong- I appreciate that research and science have found new ways to be responsible and healthy during pregnancy, but dammit I miss a lot of stuff right now.

Sleeping on my stomach.

Rollercoasters.

Cold cut turkey sandwiches.

Wine. And cocktails. A mimosa sounds like heaven.

14 espresso drinks a day or unlimited coffee. (I still drink a cup a day.)

CAESAR SALAD. Lord help me. I want one from Texas Roadhouse so badly.

Lifting things without someone going, “Should you be lifting that?” It’s very sweet, but hush.

People Strangers not trying to caress my abdomen when they walk by. I’ve been strict but I’m willing to lighten up with family now that there’s a bump and it’s not just fluffy fat.

People not looking between my stomach and my eyes when talking to me. Like, I see you looking! Just look if you’re going to look. Lol

Leaving the house and not using the bathroom every place I go.

Tucking my shirt into high waisted pants.

…high waisted pants in general.

Not groaning when I roll off the couch/bed.

Reaching my feet to tie my shoes/put on socks. I can still touch my toes, but the whole getting dressed process is harder.

Not feeling full all. the. damn. time. I think my stomach now lives inside my kidneys underneath my lungs. And the kid beats up that cluster of organs often.


I know I’m complaining, but it’s all tongue in cheek. I’ve had some very nice moments:

A flight attended handed me my own liter of water when I boarded the plane and said, “Gotta stay hydrated. I remember those days!”

A bartender gave me free ice cream because I couldn’t have a cold beer with the other people in our group.

I’ve heard, “You look so good!” more times than I can count. And I don’t even care if they’re just being nice- it’s lovely to hear. We should say that to all women all the time.

People have randomly sent me her gifts and getting happy mail unexpectedly like that is the best thing ever.

Honestly, I’m just being a baby. Yes the heartburn is rough and it’s getting harder to move around, but it’s all good.

(Seriously, though. I will have a turkey sandwich waiting for me at the end of labor & delivery. It’s one of K’s assigned duties as DAD.)