Introducing Madelyn Louise

HI! I am alive and also a (human) mom now. My, how quickly things change. This won’t ever be a mommy blog, but there are baby related things I want to record and write down so my next few post might be mom-heavy. But also some book posts. (LOL because I have any time to read… #dillusional)

Most longtime readers know that my husband’s name is Kyle, but I typically shorten it to K when I blog because a) ease and b) semi-privacy. That said, Maddie is getting shortened to M once this post is done and over with.

I want to share about her birth and about our first few days at home. I want to talk about the pressures of motherhood (which have thus far only existed in my own head- the family and friends we surround ourselves with are incredible and supportive). I want to talk about how our family looks now and about all the wonderful people who have helped us these past two weeks…. and I will. But today I’m introducing our newest little love to my blog family and giving you a quick update on the rest of us.

going home outfit

Madelyn arrived on Dec. 4th at 8:36pm weighing 8 pounds 2.3 ounces. I am well aware things with a baby can change daily, but as I write this she is darn near perfect… She loves to sleep & eat. She doesn’t mind being laid down or held by “strangers” (to her). Nights are still a little rough. She’s cool with noise or silence, light or darkness, pacifier or no pacifier. She’s completely unphased by dog barking. We are counting our blessings for her temperament during this stage. (We imagine karma has something good cooked up for those toddler years- lol.)

The dogs are perfect. The initial meet-and-greet was Enzo gently sniffing M and Bristol barking/growling at her 😂 Bristol is a husky mix who does husky-talk & based on her physical cues, it was not an aggressive growl- she just wanted the new human to play with her.

first meeting with fur sibs

Since that first meeting, Enzo is loving but indifferent to M. (He still love his mama and his sleep most of all.) Bristol is glued to her freaking side. She keeps her eye on M all day long and checks out every visitor who holds the baby. She checks on her throughout the day and usually lays near me while I feed her. Maddie has essential become Bristol’s baby.

*(We’re not irresponsible- we never leave the dogs and baby alone together.)

Moving on…

Kyle is the best human in the world. The dad life looks so good on him but the husband life is even better. He’s been so supportive, patient, attentive, loving, focused… with both Maddie & myself. I handle most nighttime duties and I change most diapers, but he is willing to do whatever I ask and is wonderful at entertaining, cuddling, comforting, and loving on baby. And spoiling the pups, too.

I love this picture

After the hospital I was hit HARD with emotions. They started on the car ride home. I spent 5 days in a complete fog. I cried off and on daily, felt awful about the present and the future, and moved through the current hour dreading the next. Baby blues/PPD/hormones at its finest. Finally on day 5 Kyle and I made some big decisions regarding life and the fog lifted. We’re still keeping an eye on my mental healthy, but those were some dense, dark woods and I am grateful to be out of them. Again, thank God for Kyle slogging through those days with me. He is a workaholic and he put everything on the back burner to make sure I was ok and Maddie was doing alright. Obviously that’s the job of a husband and partner and I’m not surprised by his attentiveness, but I know not all partners can/would do that.

running on 2 hours of broken sleep in this one… lol

I’m going to dive into that fog more in another post- I promise. This is already longer than I intended. Haha.

We’re doing well. We’re starting to kind of slip into a routine. Every day Maddie gives us something new- whether it’s a schedule shift or gas smile or physical development. I will say more about her, my postpartum experience, and our life soon (for those interested).

Before I go, a HUGE THANK YOU to my blog friends for the well wishes, gifts, advice, and friendship. Your love has been overwhelming- esp in those first few days. I have utilized some blog friends as resources for parenting and I really, really appreciate the time and energy they’ve given me. This community is incredible and I’m so grateful for all of you ♥ You all helped carry me through those first few days.

 

My Baby Shower

I haven’t had the chance to blog about our baby shower yet! My mother-in-law and mom threw me a shower in October and it was perfectly “me.”

I had practically nothing to do with this shower. I met with the moms twice, then bowed out. They put together a woodland/literature theme with all my favorite fall foods & yummy drinks. (Our nursery is woodland themed- pictures coming someday.) Imagine a crisp fall day in the forest & you’re camped out under a tree with a good book and a mug of warm coco. That was my shower.

My childhood bunny & K’s childhood bear

Baby’s Great-Grandmas

We had chili, a baked potato bar, a hot coco bar, delicious desserts, and so much more. The tables were decorated with elements from nature and children’s books and woodland animals. The facility was a winery that had a waterfall and back patio. We received so many generous gifts, too. It was overwhelming and brought me to tears.

The moms delegated help to family and friends, too. My friends put together the decadent charcuterie board & organized the games. Family members helped with food and desserts and decorations. Having such a strong, creative, generous community is such a blessing- I feel very blessed to bring our little girl into this circle of incredible women (and men- my brother, dad, father-in-law, and husband helped, too!).

Almost There Bumpdate

Hello. It’s just pregnant ol’ me coming at ya- 38 weeks and 4 days into this adventure.

I figure now is the safest time to make an update. As in… I’m still pregnant and my brain still kind of works. Kind of.

I’m going to fashion this post like my 23 week update.

Feeling.
K will tell you that around 30-ish weeks I woke up and was suddenly pregnant. I was groaning and stiff and ouchie and super extra emotional.

These last few weeks I have felt so round and my sleep has been terrible. I blamed it on the dogs but Friday I stayed in a hotel and still slept like crap so it’s not their fault. K actually has recordings of me groaning in my sleep. Flattering.

I also caught a cold a week ago. I went to the doctor on Monday and got an antibiotic so hopefully that’s on its way out. My heartburn and indigestion are still in full force. Yay.

I make K put my shoes on whenever he’s available. I also use the bathroom roughly 4 times per hour. Woo.

Cravings/Aversions/Weight.
I’m still always in the mood for waffles. I also love cereal (sorry, Rebecca Jo) but the milk tends to give me heartburn. Also, cookies and cream ice cream is my one true love. Most of my aversions have gone away. I preferred room temp water before I was pregnant- now my water HAS to have ice in it.

The month we lost Lylee I lost weight & didn’t gain for nearly 4 weeks. My doctors weren’t worried since a) there was a reason (grief) and b) I still measured the right size. Since then everything has been normal. I’m up about 30 lbs from my pre-pregnancy weight.

Emotions/Mental Health.
The biggest moment here was grieving through Lylee’s loss. It was sudden and awful and traumatic for all of us. It made me completely forget about pregnancy. I wasn’t excited. I couldn’t fathom loving anyone beyond K and Enzo. I felt like an awful mother-to-be and I told K that I was struggling with identifying grief vs. depression. It was both, but fortunately I/we worked through everything.

I’ve been weepy over work stuff, too. There are some things that are up in the air. There are some exciting things on the horizon. K is juggling lots of stress… It’s just tough for me to want to step back and take maternity leave. I DO want to do that, but I like my career and it’s just been a balance issue.

Baby.
I wish she was a little less content in there, lol. We’re ready to meet her. (I didn’t think I’d feel this way but I do.) She moves around in the mornings while I’m at work and in the evenings when I’m lounging on the couch. K has felt her a few times, but she freezes up when I try to let other family members feel. Lol. Typical.

We’ve been asked a million times if she has a name. She does. We use it at home but we’re keeping it a secret until she arrives. Enzo said he told his close friends at doggie daycare but fortunately he can’t speak English.

Dad.
K is so dang ready for her to be here. Hahaha. I think I’ve mentioned this before, but his paternal instinct is much, much stronger than my maternal one. I’m not even sure he’s nervous. I know he’s excited about the forced-break from work. He finally packed his hospital bag on Tuesday and all the furniture is built so his pre-baby duties are done. (Except for putting my shoes on me…)

Other things to note.
My belly button is still in.

I’ve had so many people tell me I don’t look or act 38 weeks pregnant. I appreciate that and believe them, but I think it’s because I don’t like to show vulnerability/weakness so I put on a smile & participate in as much as I can. (I know that’s dumb.) When I’m at home? I look like this:

Hahahahahahaha.

Now that I’ve shared the unedited pregnant version of me, here are some maternity pictures!

 

Our photographer was Jackie Beachy and holy WOW, Batman. She is amazing. She’ll be doing Baby’s newborn pictures too 😍 I struggled with putting Bristol in these pictures. It felt like a betrayal to Lylee at first. I’m glad we did, though. Pictures capture where you’re at right now in life and we were a family of four with Miss Bristol by then.

And there’s the last baby update until she actually makes her arrival. (Did I freak anyone out by not posting on Tuesday? Lol. This was supposed to go live then. Oops.)

Send us your prayers, spells, wishes, & good vibes for labor and delivery. And fingers crossed it happens soon. I don’t want to waddle through Thanksgiving- lol.

B*tchfest vol. 1

I feel like this could be an ongoing series.

Welcome to B*tchfest where I complain about mostly mundane, trivial, first world things. Some of these are legit, but most are dumb.

Let’s do this.

Expensive maternity clothes.
On a whim I googled “maternity jumpsuits.” Not my style but I look round anyway so whatever. The first site to pop up was HATCH. Who in their right mind spends +$200 on maternity clothes?! What the what?! I likely won’t spend that money on something I’d wear forever, let alone 4-6 months. *vomit* Hello, Amazon? It’s your friend cheap Audrey. I’ll be right over.

Speed Limit Ignorers.
I’ve always had a bit of road rage but I had to actually stop myself from getting out of my car at a red light and pounding on a truck’s window and screaming at him about his speed of 30 in a 45mph zone. Guys, my hand was on my door handle. But honestly: go the damn speed limit. You might have an angry pregnant person who is late for work (*her own fault*) behind you.

Lady pockets.
As if we don’t already get screwed in the pocket department, all three maternity jeans I own have NO front pockets (but the maternity shorts I have do have front pockets so clearly it’s possible structurally). It makes me SO mad. And the two pitiful back pockets are so shallow. Half of my phone hangs out!

Two lane drive-thrus.
I think the concept is great but I’m a rule follower and I know who gets in line after me and if they end up in front of me after we order I AM NOT OK. Also, so many people can’t figure this out. They go around cars that are clearly waiting for the exact same thing as you. And then there are people that sit and wait for the lines to move (leaving massive two or three car gaps) so they can pick one. NOPE. Pick a line and move your damn car. I get so angry in these lines.

My internal temperature/blushing.
When I was a teenager I blushed all the time. I could feel the heat start and I couldn’t stop it. At some point in my early 20s I got a handle on it. I don’t know if it was confidence or if my body just figured it out, but the excessive blushing stopped. WELL IT’S BACK NOW. I imagine it’s because there’s a bunch of extra blood in my body but I can’t have a conversation with ANYONE without blushing. Which then makes me hot. And I sweat. UGH.

Having to always go to the bathroom.
TMI? Too bad. This is my last pregnancy-related one. But seriously. Leave the house? Go potty. Arrive at destination 15 minutes away? Go potty. Stand up? Go potty. When we did our birthing class they told us that women get catheters when they have an epidural. That freaked me out at the time but now? Yes. Please. I would take that over going to the bathroom 30 times an hour.

I know there are 100 more things I could write about, but those are the ones that come to mind right now. What would you like to bitch about today?

Things On My Mind

Hello! If you’re reading this you’ve made it to Tuesday. Way to go!

I like how Kristen did a coffee date-brain dump recently. I’ve had a lot going on so I figured I’d do the same and we could all just catch up today. I will be having some hot coffee with a splash of this creamer. So good ❤

Dogs

If you follow me on Instagram then you’ve met our little Bristol Baby. I’m going to share her adoption story here soon, but today I’m just introducing our newest addition. We’re the crazy people who added an 8 month old dog with less than 8 weeks until our baby due date. Ha.

We miss our Lylee Bear but rescuing Bristol was the right choice for us. She’s a completely different personality & just the right amount of spunk our home needed. (And I’m even saying that after she busted out of her crate and subjected our house to a puppy hurricane yesterday. SIGH.)

We love our new little handful. We were told she’s a Pomeranian-Husky mix and she’ll likely stay about the size she is now (35 lbs). It doesn’t matter what she is or how big she gets- we’re just so glad she’s ours 😊

Baby

Still pregnant and slowly starting to freak out about labor & delivery. Ha. My mother-in-law and mom threw me a baby shower on Sunday and HOLY COW. It was a beautiful party. I’m still blown away by their planning and the generosity of those who helped and the love of everyone who came. I’m going to post about that, too, but I’m still collecting pictures.

I have 6 weeks and 5 days to go. Yikes. Baby is typically an active little thing in there. I feel rounder and tired- but I’ve been tired since the test said “positive” and I’m sure I’ll be tired until I die. Hahaha.

We have a birthing class on Saturday and maternity pics on Monday… after that it’s just a waiting game. K has a business trip mid-November so we’re begging Baby daily to avoid those 4 days. Haha. (He can race home if need be.)

Organization

There is so much I want to do before baby gets here. Books I want to read. Moments I want to scrapbook. Corners I want to clean out. Photos I want to organize. Dogs I want to train (lol). I know I won’t get everything done and I’m determined not to stress about it, but these things are definitely on my mind.

I know nesting has kicked in. We still have a bunch of kid-related stuff to do: nursery needs painted, things need assembled, even more things need bought… I’d like to get some freezer meals done. I’d like to clean out the garage. Etc.

PLUS the holidays are here. We finally did the ledge for Halloween. We’re having a party this month, too. (I’m not giving that up- even if I am 35 weeks pregnant by then, ha.) Then we have Christmas decorations that I want to get up and gifts that need purchased or wrapped…

I dunno. It’s all trivial and if it doesn’t get done it’s completely ok, but these are the things on my mind right now.

So now it’s your turn. What’s going on in your world? What’s on your mind? What’s your beverage of choice on this blustery fall morning?