The Last 366 Days in My 20s

I am 29 years old today. Until two days ago, I forgot my birthday was this week. I feel both retrospective and future focused.

This past year was very out of my control and that’s not something I handle well. We finally kicked off our parenthood journey. We felt a¬†ton of professional and financial pressure. We grieved harder than we’ve ever grieved before. It was a weird year & I honestly don’t care to look back on it.

I feel like I’m walking into 29 as a complete and total wreck. My emotions & hormones are a mess. My house is a mess. My brain is a mess. For a type-a control freak, it’s actually quite terrifying.

But I also feel a sense of calmness in the chaos. Most things are out of my control right now and there’s a unique freedom in that.

The planner in me wants to list some goals but I already have my 30×30 list (which will definitely¬†not get accomplished). If I had to list three vague, general goals for Year 29 they would be:

Figure out how to be a mom. Hopefully a good mom, sometimes a bad mom probably, but just a human MOM overall.

Wrap Enzo and Bristol in as much love and patience as I can manage. B is still adjusting to our home & both will feel the shift when baby arrives- so I just want them to always feel loved and wanted.

Keep up the incredible, understanding, same-team relationship with K that we’ve had for years. It’ll be weird to bring another human into our mix, but I love my life with Kyle and I don’t doubt I’ll love it even more when our mini arrives.

That’s it. Those are my goals for the next year. That’s where I’m dumping my energy and time and efforts. Yeah, I’ll have other goals like cleaning out the ________ or attend x amount of holiday festivities or train Bristol to not blah blah blah…. but those are the core initiatives for the next 366 days. (I get a bonus day w/ the leap year!)

Very little makes this day different from any other day in 2019, but it feels like a fresh page for me. Things from Year 28 will certainly shape how Year 29 goes, but I want to take on this new age with a new attitude. I won’t be a Pinterest mom or a dog whisperer or a marriage expert by 30, but I hope that I fully experience age 29 and all it has to offer while I’m here.

I also hope to read more books. That seems like the loftiest goal of all given the newborn. Haha.