My Weird Uber Experiences

While my hometown does not have Uber (yep, we’reΒ that small), when I travel for work or when I go out with my friends their big cities, we take an Uber. I don’t even have the app on my phone. For the handful of times I’ve been in an Uber, I sure have some weird stories, though.

Demigods | Cleveland, OH
HANDS DOWN THE WEIRDEST RIDE OF MY LIFE. I hopped in the back of a beat up Uber with 4 other friends. (I refuse to sit in the front seat.) The radio was playing this demonic scream music and apparently the drive was listening to this tape that kept repeating things like, “The demigods are pleased. You have made the demigods happy with your sacrifice. The dark lord is pleased with your sacrifice.” I could not hear this, but Aubrey was in the front seat and witnessed all of this. And the driver didn’t speak a word to us. After we got out and Aubrey shared the extent of the creepy drive I scolded her UP AND DOWN about how it was HER JOB TO GET US OUT OF THERE. Sheesh. Talk about traumatizing.

Train Trapped | Columbus, OH
We were on our way to a concert and we were all a bit buzzed. Our driver was awesome, though. We were safely crossing a double set of train tracks WHEN THE GATES STARTED TO COME DOWN. Our car was between the two tracks while trains went past on either side of us. There was plenty of room for our car on that little stretch of asphalt, but it was still SO freaky and surreal.

Meet My Son-in-Law | San Antonio, TX
First and foremost, this Uber ride was a total bust. We were headed to a diner featured on Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives and when we got there they were closed due to a busted pipe. The driver took us back to our hotel but on the way he saw his future son-in-law unloading a truck and put the window down to point him out to us and have a quick hello with him.

We once got an Uber driver to take us through the Taco Bell drive thru. That was a great night until I fell on my face. LOL. We also had a driver get us stuck in TWO HOURS OF POST-CONCERT TRAFFIC. He then started watching IG videos of the concert WE WERE JUST AT on his phone (my personal version of Hell). I almost murdered him.

Honestly, I think Ubers are so weird. Our parents specifically told us NOT to get in random cars with strangers… and that’s the whole concept of Uber. Handy? Yes. Safe? Eh. Jury is still out in my opinion.

How about you? Got any super weird Uber stories?

Odd Things About Aud: Book Edition

I have some odd reading habits. (I imagine all voracious readers do, though I don’t consider my reading style to be “voracious.”) Perhaps you do some of these things, too. Maybe you think I’m a total nut who doesn’t know how to read properly. Either way, today I’m a open book. (Pun so intended.)

I always look to see how many pages a book has. Sometimes I even read the last page or paragraph of the book. I know I’m spoiling it, but sometimes my anxiety needs to know. Also, when I really love a character, I check the last page or chapter to make sure they’re still alive. #sorrynotsorry

I don’t enjoy thrillers. They make my whole body shake and I dream about them and I try to figure out “who done it” the whole time… but after reading The Woman in Cabin 10 I can accurately conclude that I tend to breeze through them much faster than any other genre. (And I definitely didn’t enjoy that one!)

I work better with a challenge. I like making a summer reading list or participating in Erin’s challenges because they give me a direction and a “to do list” for book reading. Even if I read things off that list, I have something that I’m working toward. I read best that way.

About halfway through a book I decide what I’m going to rate it on Goodreads/my blog. Then I give it the second half to up its score (or, unfortunately, wreck it).

If a book is good enough, I scour the internet for fan art/more details/background stories. I don’t think that’s too out of the ordinary, though, right? (I am all about the fan art with The Lunar Chronicles.) I try to curb the searching if I feel like it might ruin the ending/next book.

When I’m super into a book I typically force myself to put it down… even if I pick it up again 5 minutes later. I think my brain just needs a few minutes to process what I read or feel that urge to HAVE to jump back in. If someone were to watch me read they’d see me read for 30 minutes or an hour, set the book down and look out the window or toss the dogs’ toys a bit, then crack it open for another hour of reading.

I have a serious love/hate relationship with my Kindle. K gave me a Paperwhite for my birthday last year. I love it because it’s portable AND it’s backlit (that’s the term, right?) so I can read in bed while he’s sleeping. And therein lies the hate… If I’m not tired I will open up that Kindle and read for hours. Last week I read from 9:30pm to 2:30am. I have always been more productive at night, but I tried to change my ways after I graduated college. Kindle is making me regress…

I need to have at least 2 books going at the same time (and they can’t be similar). Also, there’s no limit to how many books I have going… Right now I’m reading seven. I switch based on what I’m in the mood for (like how one would pick a movie) and I scatter them all over the house so something is always at my fingertips πŸ™‚

To be clear, I don’t always let myself spoil books. There are times I avoid GoodReads reviews or skip over a book during the #SUYB link-up. I’m not a total monster.

Do you have any strange reading quirks? Do we share any?

*I’m going to take next week off from blogging. I’ll still be hopping around and reading your posts, but my creative juices are lacking and I think a week off will help! πŸ™‚

Chats with K

Before we dive into our conversations… today is my parents’ 30th wedding anniversary! ❀︎ So I want to devote a paragraph or two to them real quick…

My parents are wonderful odd balls. (My brother and I got it honest.) My teenage years gave them (esp. my mom) a run for their money sanity, but as an adult I spend so much time with them. Mom and I still bicker sometimes & Dad and I shout over politics, but through the years I’ve learned so much about marriage and life from them. Honesty, forgiveness, understanding, and humor are the key ingredients to a happy relationship.

Bonnie & Clyde trying to steal the getaway-car thunder four years ago at our wedding…

So Happy THIRTIETH Anniversary to the animal-loving, garden-growing, child-raising, country-living parents that I’ve grown up loving and admiring. Fred and I are better people and better spouses because of you two. Thanks for everything! ❀︎

And now… a collection of random, weird conversations with the husband… πŸ™‚

Me: You know… when I’m calm, I imagine these smooth-yet-wavy purple lines running through my body, carrying my calm energy to every limb. But right now I’m filled with these spiky hot pink and orange wiry balls just pulsing all throughout my insides because I’m so freakin’ anxious about all the things we have going on!
K: …your head is one f*cked up place to be, isn’t it?

In preparation for my garage sale…
Me: I’m pretty much done collecting stuff, but I wanted to ask if you had any shoes you wanted to get rid of.
K: No.
Me: …what about the ones in your office that you said you didn’t want.
*K glares at me.*
Me: So what you mean is ‘Yes, but I don’t want to take the time to look and weed them out.’

We’d been waiting almost two weeks for an important call…
K: Alright, Miss Cleo. You think they’re going to call today? What’re they going to say?
Me: Oh, Kyle. I don’t have that kind of foresight. I can’t predict when or how you’ll die, but I can predict that you’ll die.
K: Not me. I’ve hidden horcruxes everywhere. You’ll never get rid of me.
Me: …I so appreciate that reference, honey. But also I know two of them are the corvette and Lylee.

K was letting the dogs out and called me to the back patio.
K: This is either the biggest maggot I’ve ever seen or it’s the fattest, shortest worm.
Me: That’s a slug, dear.