Emotionally, I’m in a strange place.

Tuesday’s election didn’t end well for me. I lost my race for the school board. Four candidates were vying for three positions, so someone had to lose. Turns out, the voters decided that someone was me.

It’s okay. I’m okay. I have an incredible support system that quickly rallied around me and reminded me that I am loved and needed. I congratulated two candidates whom I’d formed friendships with and they expressed bittersweet gratitude. I spoke with a few community members who strongly urged me to stay involved and try again. I’m definitely walking away from the experience okay.

But I’m disappointed, too. I’m sad and frustrated.

I’m very happy for two of my “opponents.” They worked hard in their campaigns. They ran clean and inclusive campaigns. I couldn’t have asked for better “competition.”

But I’m disappointed. And there’s no one to scream at. There’s nothing to contest and no one to argue with. It’s humbling to be told “no” as an adult. It really doesn’t happen that often- not that we can’t work around or reverse in some way or another. So I’m just here, sitting in my disappointment, working through my unpleasant feelings.

And I’m joyful, too. So many people reminded me not to let my disappointment steal my joy. Immediately after the election, I left on a work trip with co-workers whom I genuinely enjoy. We have a big, exciting family vacation planned for the end of the month. Christmas is coming so soon! I really do have so much joy happening in this season of life.

So here I sit… strangely bouncing between joy and disappointment. Trying to nurture the former and extinguish the latter. In general, I guess that’s just life.

If you’re struggling, I see you. If you’re celebrating, I’m happy for you. And if you’re stuck in the space between, I’m with you.

-Audrey