Another Year Wiser

October is an introspective month for me. On Sunday I turned 31. Today marks 14 years with Kyle. Most of the time I feel pretty young at heart, but also feel like I’ve collected some worldly knowledge during my 3 decades on Earth.

The first 18 years are essentially spent learning school subjects. In college I learned how to exist in the adult world. I think my 20s taught me how to be a better friend. After M was born, I started working on how to be a better person on the inside. I don’t think we ever stop learning and changing and (hopefully) improving.

Other people’s “happy” won’t make you happy, so figure out what makes you feel good.
Along those same lines, when you know what makes you happy, it’s easier and more rewarding to be genuinely happy for others. The jealousy dissipates.

Actions & words both speak loudly, but they need to aline.
So many things we learn at a young age (“actions speak louder than words”, “lead by example”) are very very true in adulthood. I can say I love or support or understand others, but I need to physically show it, too.

Chance are you treat those closest to you the worst…
This is true for me, at least. Not so much my friends, but K and my mom. Two people who I know- without fail- love me unconditionally… And I push it sometimes. Since I’ve become aware of this, I’ve been trying to change.

I don’t believe that women who are moms are better than women who are not moms, but I believe that becoming a mom- specifically M’s mom- has made me a better person. Or… it’s at least made me want to be a better person. I have to be. I have a little sponge soaking up every single word I say, every reaction I have, every interaction I’m part of. All day long the pressure is on to demonstrate how to be a less-sh*tty human. I’m monitoring my patience, tone, and temper constantly.

It’s tiring, but good for me. I try to apply a patient attitude, soft tone, and controlled temper into all my interactions, not just my time with M. I’m less successful, but I try.

And that’s where I’m at right now… I’m very grateful to celebrate year 31 and I’m the luckiest person to have 14 years with K by my side. Here’s to many many more.

-Audrey

Eight Years

This season of life is not conducive to blog writing… When I get a moment of “free” time I spend it cleaning or watching television or playing a video game or- rarely- reading. I’m not drawn to this space because I don’t have the energy or creativity to contribute much.

But I always make an anniversary post and today is our 8th wedding anniversary.

Eight.

(We’ve been a couple for nearly 14 years.)

This has been another stressful trip around the sun- although I still believe 2019 tested us beyond anything we’ve ever experienced. I’m always amazed by my husband’s ability to handle stress. In the moments that I know would break me, he does what needs to be done and doesn’t flinch.

Over the last 8+ years I have watched him dedicate everything to the things and people he cares about. His company. Lylee. Me (especially during my PPD). Maddie.
When I’m afraid I have nothing more to give he steps in and both contributes AND lifts me back on my feet.

I’m not sure you can ask for much more in a life partner.

I should add this has also been an incredible trip around the sun, too. M is a totally different human than she was on our 7th anniversary. She is a perfect blend of us. She’s everything we want and need, and this past year watching her become her has been awesome. Again, I’m so lucky to share her with K.

It’s been good & bad. Every year is good and bad. I’m just grateful to get through another one with my other half.

Happy Anniversary, my love.

-A

Chats With K

One week and one day until Christmas! Woo!

That’s a weak lead-in to some pretty humorous* chats with K that I jotted down…
*in my opinion

K: I need DEF. [for his truck]
Me: … Mos Def? LL COOL J. Luda. Biggie biggie biggie. Tupac
K: *just stares at me*
Me: Want to name 90s rapper with me?
K: Mos Def is an actor. 
Me: He’s both. Like Ice Cube. 
K: …
Me: Ice-T?
K: There ya go. 


Me: You have a booger. 
K: I know! I feel it. 
Me: Did you put it there?
K: Yep. 
Me: Have you named it?
K: Yeah, Batman. 
Me: …because it’s in the cave. 
K: I call him Bruce. 


Me: Can you look at the timer?
K: Yep. 
Me: …
K: …
Me: Can you tell me what it says? 


K: Bristol is stoned tonight. 
Me: How many drops of the cbd oil did you give her?
K: Just five like the bottle says. 

Three hours later & Bristol has been asleep the entire time. 

Me: How many did you really give her?
K: … eight. 


K: Whoaaaa. The girl I married wouldn’t have out these black flecks on the veggies! (pepper)
Me: The girl you knew is all grown up.
K: …that girl just made little smokies for dinner. 


Me to Moo: You about ready for a nap, babe?
K: Yeah. 
Me: Is she giving sleepy cues?
K: No, I meant me. 


Me*while watching Dan & Shay perform with Justin Bieber*: You know, I’ve never in my life found Justin Bieber attractive but this might do it. 
K: Oh yeah?
Me: I mean, they say he is very talented.
K: Yeah, he just leaves monkeys in Germany.


K: They just called the Goo Goo Dolls classic rock. 
Me: Yeah… they are. What would you call them?
K: Just rock. 
Me: How old does a car have to be to be considered classic?
K: …25 years. 
Me: And when did the Goo Goo Dolls start? 
K: Leave me alone.

In his defense, most of Twitter was outraged to hear the Goo Goo Dolls referred to as classic. Lol

Chats With K

Hi! Welcome to another edition of chats with K (a.k.a. my husband).

While browsing bridesmaid dresses for my bff’s wedding.
Me: Ooh, I like this one but it’s a high-low and she said long.
K: What the hell is a “high-low”?
Me: Shorter in the front and longer in the back.
K: Oh, a mullet dress.


Me: We need to talk about something. *launches into a parenting theory and how it applies to what we’re doing with M and eventually lands on the conclusion that we’re doing things right and we probably don’t need to change*
K: … … … ok.
Me: I guess we didn’t really need to talk about anything. I could’ve kept that in my head.
K: Yeah… that’s very true.


Me: You’re chewing gum. You don’t usually chew gum.
K: I had an eye doctor appointment today and they were right in my face.
Me: But… you had a mask on…
K: Farts go through pants!


After walking up the stairs to put M down for a nap…
K: Have you started feeding her yet?
Me: No, why? Do you need something?
K: I need you to come here a minute….
I walk back down the stairs & K meets me there.
K: Ok, I’ll take her *scoops M from my arms* and you need to go kill the big black fuzzy thing on the window sill. You should take a shoe. Or a shotgun.

*It was a spider. K hates spiders.


After an extremely stressful day at work and 20 minutes of yelling for Bristol to stop attacking a bird in the backyard and then cleaning up the dead bird/wiping blood off the dog….
K: How are you not drinking wine yet…!?


I think I took a glass of wine to bed with me after that last conversation. LOL. Thank goodness M was asleep for most of that!