Infant Days: The Epilogue

It was just over two years ago (!!) that we told the world M was going to be a little girl. A few months later that little girl entered the world and completely rocked mine to its core. It was T O U G H and I feel like I was very open and honest and blunt about our struggles with parenthood.

Sometimes I wonder if M will ever find those posts and IG pictures and FB updates, and think I felt regretful. It wasn’t always glamorous and I very rarely painted it as such. And while I hope that was/is helpful to new moms, I sometimes wonder what M will think.

So I thought I’d write a epilogue to the infant days. My 19-month-old is full bore toddler now so we’re in a completely different chapter. (Maybe even book?)

I think every parent has a favorite age. Some will say each stage was their favorite and then the next one happened and it was even better. Kudos to those moms and dads. That is not what I (or K) would tell you.

I loved the newborn snuggles but I struggled during the newborn phase. Even after we cleared the fog, it was hard to find my groove. But then M started rolling. And sitting up. And eating some soft foods.

Then she started smiling and babbling. Pointing and shaking her head. Reaching and rejecting. By the time she was 13 months she could pick out her favorite foods, point to what she wanted, and walk across the room.

And we hit our stride.

I’m sure there are many parents who do not love toddlerhood. Eighteen months is a challenging age. Some parents love newborn age, some like school age (this will be K’s favorite I bet). I am a toddler-lover through and through. M is so much dang fun.

I love that she can communicate- even when I don’t know what she’s saying. Sometimes she’s crying because there’s a thread on her pants- but you know what? I know why she’s crying and that’s such a relief. She’s feisty and inquisitive. She loves doing everything herself… but wants mom or dad close by. She follows the dogs around and expects them to follow her. She can point to and name her body parts. She loves to figure out how something works. She likes to help with everything. She tells us when she’s ready for bed (even if she’s not sold on it when it’s actually time to sleep). She’s down for any adventure. She really is such a fun kid and such a fun age.

SO… for all the struggles and tears and complaining I did 1 year ago, let me just share what a good time we’re having right now. Sure, it’s not always easy. We have tantrums and breakdowns. But dang, it’s rewarding with M. She’s one of my favorite people to hang out with.

I might be singing another tune when we potty train… or transition from crib to bed… or start thinking about preschool. But for now? I am one happy human with my sassy little toddler.

*For those that struggle with toddlerhood, it will change. I would never paint a rosier picture than it really is, but I wanted to share that motherhood isn’t miserable forever and ever with no moments of joy.

Eight Years

This season of life is not conducive to blog writing… When I get a moment of “free” time I spend it cleaning or watching television or playing a video game or- rarely- reading. I’m not drawn to this space because I don’t have the energy or creativity to contribute much.

But I always make an anniversary post and today is our 8th wedding anniversary.

Eight.

(We’ve been a couple for nearly 14 years.)

This has been another stressful trip around the sun- although I still believe 2019 tested us beyond anything we’ve ever experienced. I’m always amazed by my husband’s ability to handle stress. In the moments that I know would break me, he does what needs to be done and doesn’t flinch.

Over the last 8+ years I have watched him dedicate everything to the things and people he cares about. His company. Lylee. Me (especially during my PPD). Maddie.
When I’m afraid I have nothing more to give he steps in and both contributes AND lifts me back on my feet.

I’m not sure you can ask for much more in a life partner.

I should add this has also been an incredible trip around the sun, too. M is a totally different human than she was on our 7th anniversary. She is a perfect blend of us. She’s everything we want and need, and this past year watching her become her has been awesome. Again, I’m so lucky to share her with K.

It’s been good & bad. Every year is good and bad. I’m just grateful to get through another one with my other half.

Happy Anniversary, my love.

-A

Chats With K

One week and one day until Christmas! Woo!

That’s a weak lead-in to some pretty humorous* chats with K that I jotted down…
*in my opinion

K: I need DEF. [for his truck]
Me: … Mos Def? LL COOL J. Luda. Biggie biggie biggie. Tupac
K: *just stares at me*
Me: Want to name 90s rapper with me?
K: Mos Def is an actor. 
Me: He’s both. Like Ice Cube. 
K: …
Me: Ice-T?
K: There ya go. 


Me: You have a booger. 
K: I know! I feel it. 
Me: Did you put it there?
K: Yep. 
Me: Have you named it?
K: Yeah, Batman. 
Me: …because it’s in the cave. 
K: I call him Bruce. 


Me: Can you look at the timer?
K: Yep. 
Me: …
K: …
Me: Can you tell me what it says? 


K: Bristol is stoned tonight. 
Me: How many drops of the cbd oil did you give her?
K: Just five like the bottle says. 

Three hours later & Bristol has been asleep the entire time. 

Me: How many did you really give her?
K: … eight. 


K: Whoaaaa. The girl I married wouldn’t have out these black flecks on the veggies! (pepper)
Me: The girl you knew is all grown up.
K: …that girl just made little smokies for dinner. 


Me to Moo: You about ready for a nap, babe?
K: Yeah. 
Me: Is she giving sleepy cues?
K: No, I meant me. 


Me*while watching Dan & Shay perform with Justin Bieber*: You know, I’ve never in my life found Justin Bieber attractive but this might do it. 
K: Oh yeah?
Me: I mean, they say he is very talented.
K: Yeah, he just leaves monkeys in Germany.


K: They just called the Goo Goo Dolls classic rock. 
Me: Yeah… they are. What would you call them?
K: Just rock. 
Me: How old does a car have to be to be considered classic?
K: …25 years. 
Me: And when did the Goo Goo Dolls start? 
K: Leave me alone.

In his defense, most of Twitter was outraged to hear the Goo Goo Dolls referred to as classic. Lol

Chats With K

Hi! Welcome to another edition of chats with K (a.k.a. my husband).

While browsing bridesmaid dresses for my bff’s wedding.
Me: Ooh, I like this one but it’s a high-low and she said long.
K: What the hell is a “high-low”?
Me: Shorter in the front and longer in the back.
K: Oh, a mullet dress.


Me: We need to talk about something. *launches into a parenting theory and how it applies to what we’re doing with M and eventually lands on the conclusion that we’re doing things right and we probably don’t need to change*
K: … … … ok.
Me: I guess we didn’t really need to talk about anything. I could’ve kept that in my head.
K: Yeah… that’s very true.


Me: You’re chewing gum. You don’t usually chew gum.
K: I had an eye doctor appointment today and they were right in my face.
Me: But… you had a mask on…
K: Farts go through pants!


After walking up the stairs to put M down for a nap…
K: Have you started feeding her yet?
Me: No, why? Do you need something?
K: I need you to come here a minute….
I walk back down the stairs & K meets me there.
K: Ok, I’ll take her *scoops M from my arms* and you need to go kill the big black fuzzy thing on the window sill. You should take a shoe. Or a shotgun.

*It was a spider. K hates spiders.


After an extremely stressful day at work and 20 minutes of yelling for Bristol to stop attacking a bird in the backyard and then cleaning up the dead bird/wiping blood off the dog….
K: How are you not drinking wine yet…!?


I think I took a glass of wine to bed with me after that last conversation. LOL. Thank goodness M was asleep for most of that!

Chats with K

The world is depressing and heavy right now so today I’m sharing some recent conversations with K that are neither depressing nor heavy.

Me: How’s she doing?
K: Good. I’m a snot machine in the other hand.
Me: What color?
K: Clear.
Me: …that was a very “mom question” wasn’t it?
K: Yes. 


*while in the car*
Me: Uh oh.
K: What?
Me: I think I smell a poopy diaper.
K: … um no. That was me. I farted. 


Me: If you die first I’m putting mascara on you in your casket.
K: No you’re not.
Me: I am.
K: If you die first I’m having a party.
*a little context here: K has beautiful eyelashes. I’ve been asking to put mascara on them since we first started dating…*


Me: Why are you so testy tonight?
K: Because I made our daughter bleed while clipping her nails!
Me: Ok, but that’s not my fault. She’s fine. Don’t take it out on me.
K: I’m taking it out on everyone.
Me:
K:
Me: Ok, well I’m going to go to laundry because it’s more fun than you right now. 

Find a reason to smile, friends. And wash your hands!