Chats With K

Hi! Welcome to another edition of chats with K (a.k.a. my husband).

While browsing bridesmaid dresses for my bff’s wedding.
Me: Ooh, I like this one but it’s a high-low and she said long.
K: What the hell is a “high-low”?
Me: Shorter in the front and longer in the back.
K: Oh, a mullet dress.


Me: We need to talk about something. *launches into a parenting theory and how it applies to what we’re doing with M and eventually lands on the conclusion that we’re doing things right and we probably don’t need to change*
K: … … … ok.
Me: I guess we didn’t really need to talk about anything. I could’ve kept that in my head.
K: Yeah… that’s very true.


Me: You’re chewing gum. You don’t usually chew gum.
K: I had an eye doctor appointment today and they were right in my face.
Me: But… you had a mask on…
K: Farts go through pants!


After walking up the stairs to put M down for a nap…
K: Have you started feeding her yet?
Me: No, why? Do you need something?
K: I need you to come here a minute….
I walk back down the stairs & K meets me there.
K: Ok, I’ll take her *scoops M from my arms* and you need to go kill the big black fuzzy thing on the window sill. You should take a shoe. Or a shotgun.

*It was a spider. K hates spiders.


After an extremely stressful day at work and 20 minutes of yelling for Bristol to stop attacking a bird in the backyard and then cleaning up the dead bird/wiping blood off the dog….
K: How are you not drinking wine yet…!?


I think I took a glass of wine to bed with me after that last conversation. LOL. Thank goodness M was asleep for most of that!

Chats with K

The world is depressing and heavy right now so today I’m sharing some recent conversations with K that are neither depressing nor heavy.

Me: How’s she doing?
K: Good. I’m a snot machine in the other hand.
Me: What color?
K: Clear.
Me: …that was a very “mom question” wasn’t it?
K: Yes. 


*while in the car*
Me: Uh oh.
K: What?
Me: I think I smell a poopy diaper.
K: … um no. That was me. I farted. 


Me: If you die first I’m putting mascara on you in your casket.
K: No you’re not.
Me: I am.
K: If you die first I’m having a party.
*a little context here: K has beautiful eyelashes. I’ve been asking to put mascara on them since we first started dating…*


Me: Why are you so testy tonight?
K: Because I made our daughter bleed while clipping her nails!
Me: Ok, but that’s not my fault. She’s fine. Don’t take it out on me.
K: I’m taking it out on everyone.
Me:
K:
Me: Ok, well I’m going to go to laundry because it’s more fun than you right now. 

Find a reason to smile, friends. And wash your hands!

Happy Birthday, My Love

Today is K’s 33rd birthday.

(I love this pictures of him giving his sister the business.)

Last year, when he turned 32, we had no idea it would be his last one without a child. We were on vacation- in Arizona- and we went on a long train ride through a canyon and had dinner at the MOST delicious place. Arizona was rainy and cold and expensive- but it’s one of my favorite trips ever.

Today is much less fun. K is at work & I’m home with a congested baby. Tonight we have calling hours for a very distant family member. Hopefully I can make K feel special this weekend with some fun activities and one of his favorite dinners.


It seems that at 33 and 29 we’re officially true adults. Ha. We started dating when he was 20. We’ve both changed so much over the past thirteen years and yet… we’re still the same ❤ & he’s still my favorite person on the planet.

 

Happy Birthday, my love. Here’s to many, many more.

A Dozen Years Under Our Belt

Twelve years and one day ago, K asked me to be his girlfriend. Kind of. It was actually a mutual resolution. Romantic, right? He was a little more romantic when he proposed eight years and one day ago 😉

It’s comical how much has changed since we kicked this off. (Seven years ago I wrote this post about our relationship. Home in on the paragraph about not working well together- hahaha! Thankfully we got over that.)

Over the past 12 years some of my favorite things have blossomed from our relationship. They wouldn’t exist (in my world, at least) if K and I didn’t exist.

Obviously Lylee & Enzo. (And now Bristol.)
We took in Ly four months before the wedding, but it was a joint decision.
Enzo arrived just before our first Christmas as husband & wife. I hate that our time with Lylee was cut short, but I wouldn’t have wanted to share her with anyone but K. Bristol was a family decision, but I don’t think I’d have looked her direction without K’s dog-loving heart guiding our family.

My relationship with K’s family.
I feel like I’ve grown up in K’s family. I’ve known them since I was 16 and they’ve been around for all my major milestones- birthdays, graduations, etc. Because of that, I never feel out of place when I’m with them. I’ve been around for over a decade and watched his cousins and siblings grow their families, too.

K’s relationship with my family.
Likewise, K has known my family just as long. I know it’s tough to let your little girl date- especially when it’s an older boy- but it didn’t take long for the (over)protective men in my life to see what I saw in K. And now he’s so dang engrained in my family I sometimes think they’d pick him over me.

The business.
Not to say that K wouldn’t have started PI without me in his life, but considering he first opened shop in my dad’s truck garage and we’ve had support from my (as well as his) family along the way, I think the journey would’ve looked much different if not for our relationship.

My friendship with Erica.
One of my very best friends & her husband were essentially introduced to me through K. Their kids are our godchildren ♥ I don’t know what I’d have done without her love and support the last 10+ years.

Countless concerts & trips we’ve experienced.
Who knows? Maybe I’d have seen those bands or gone on those vacations without K, but they’d have been such different experiences. I’m grateful for all the things we’ve done together and the memories I have from those together moments.

My personality & confidence.
I met K when I was 15 & we started dating when I was 17. For the most part, there are very few instances where he was a bad influence. I had questionable friends and did questionable things when we started dating, and K wasn’t into that stuff. For the past twelve years he’s been a stable moral compass for me. And on top of that, he has always given me a huge dose of confidence. He supports my decisions and backs my dreams- he believed in me to march an independent drumline and supported me studying abroad in India and encourages me to write down the countless stories that enter my head. Maybe I’d have found a partner like him some day, but the person I am today is largely because I’ve spent the last 12 years by his side.

Last but not least, our future kid.
I always thought I’d have a kid as soon as I got married (especially when I dreamed of a future with K). I won’t lie- I’m glad I didn’t. I’ve enjoyed these past 6+ years as husband and wife. And now I’m so excited to add a perfect little combination of the two of us to the mix. I’m nervous to share our life with a new human- it’s been just US for so long- but I wouldn’t want to grow a family with anyone else.

So that got mushy and gushy but this is our last “anniversary” without a tiny human stealing our attention so I won’t apologize 😉

Thanks for 12 amazing years, Kyle. He’s to 12 dozen more of them ♥

The Downside to Working With Your Spouse

If you’re new here, you need the basic knowledge that I work with/for my husband. He started a company 7+ years ago and I started full-time about 2.5 years ago.

And now you’re all caught up.

When I made the decision to leave my former job and join K, we had so many people doubt us. More than half of our friends and family has something negative or apprehensive to say. I don’t blame them- working with your spouse can be r.o.u.g.h.

Honestly, 88% of the time I love it. It’s a situation that works for us. We try to talk about work things at work and home things at home, but sometimes the worlds mesh. But I like that, too. (Not always, of course.) Also, our job duties rarely overlap so we’re kind of in our own little worlds all day with the option to pop in and visit one another or go to lunch together. Yeah, K is my boss, but he’s mostly hands off unless I’m totally lost or floundering. (Is “hands off” a cheeky phrase to use when talking about your husband as your boss? Lol.)

We like our jobs and love the company, but I’m a realist and I don’t edit out the sh*t moments so today I’m here to be 100% up front with you and rant about share the downsides to working with your spouse.

I’m not complaining; I’m being honest. And these things apply to us because K owns the company. I know it’d be different if we were both employees.

1. The guilt is real when it comes to taking time off. There are minimal people who work in the office so inevitably, when one of us is gone, the others have to pick up the slack. I know the self care mantra and the “you have sick days available-use them!” mindset is healthy, but it doesn’t exist without guilt when you’re sitting at home and your spouse is possibly picking up your slack. (At least for me.)

I have already had a break down over maternity leave. I want it, and I know it’s important, but we’re going to be going through a huge transition around that time and it KILLS me that I’ll be at home “doing nothing.” (I know I’m not doing nothing and K has told me time and time again how important my role at home will be during those weeks.) I just hate that I’m not helping the company. AND I want K to enjoy some paternity leave too with our little one. Honestly, this is something we’re still figuring out.

2. Do you ever get frustrated with your boss? Or, if you’re a supervisor, do you ever get annoyed with an employee? When that individual is your romantic partner it can make for a stressful dinner later that night.

We rarely get completely pissed at one another, but that’s because of good communication, quick forgiveness, and the willingness to compartmentalize OR just let things go. We don’t let things go very easily, so if we have a work problem we try to solve it before the end of the work day.

Sometimes a post-work detour to Target to cool down is just what the doctor ordered.

3. It’s very strange to carry the exact same stress as your spouse. We both carry similar personal stress, household stress, family stress, financial stress, AND work stress. It’s tough to vent or talk it out when you’re both already feeling the pressure.

4. That’s not to say we don’t have individual stress. It kills me that I can’t help when K is so stressed out and upset over a situation that is beyond my control/department. And at the same time, when someone pisses me off at work I know it frustrates him that he can’t step in and solve the problem because it’s not a situation that calls for the boss to get involved. There are plenty of nights we both lay awake thinking about job stress that neither one of us can help the other with.

5. Obviously we’re together a lot. We work and live and sleep and vacation next to one another. Two things have come from this. First of all, neither one of us feels guilty when we go do something on our own. He does a guys lunch with some of the men in my family on Saturdays. I love my alone time on weekends. I go to dinner with friends or visit my brother in Columbus and K stays home to decompress or get some work done. We’re both fine with independent actives in our free time. But secondly, we also recognize that time we’re together has to be allotted for the activity. Working together isn’t “quality time” together. It’s work. We still enjoy date nights and breakfast on the weekends and lounging on the couch together.


I know I’m fortunate to work with K. I know some couples spend a few hours together at night and that’s it or they work opposite shifts. Honestly, once we have a kid I think it’ll be nice to have some time where it’s just “us” again at work. But today I’m just airing all the little issues that still arise in our unique situation.

And of course I didn’t cover them all. My relationship with K is obviously different than every other employee here. And I’m sure our marital relationship has been changed and affected by our working situation. But digging into all that is too much for this post. Lol

I’m not even sure this was interesting, but it’s a peek at my life and some food for thought if you’ve ever imagined yourself working closely with a romantic partner. (I know a few of y’all DO work with your spouse.) Is working with your husband or wife (or girl/boyfriend) something you’d ever want to do?