Baby Talk: Parental Pressure

Have you noticed there’s a sense of pressure to enjoy certain things? I’ve written about this before in regards to summer. Summer stresses me out because you’re supposed to do all the things, soak in all the sunshine, experience all the activities… No. I’m hot, it’s hot, and I’m sweating. Let me sit inside with the a/c and burn winter candles, please&thanks.

Mom Guilt aside, there’s a similar pressure in parenting to enjoy ALL the things.
“Being a mom is the most amazing thing I’ll ever do.”
“Dad life is the best life.”
“There is nothing as rewarding as changing a poo splattered diaper and rocking a screaming kid to sleep while your coffee gets cold and your dog eats your dinner off the counter.”
You get it.

The reality is many parts of parenting aren’t fun or glamorous or rewarding. But you feel like a completely tool for admitting as much since the whole world has dubbed the experience “mAgIcAl.”

We’ve been working through this in our home.
I love sleep and there are occasionally nights when Moo decides she NEEDS held from 1:45am to 3:27am. I am VERY aware that it won’t be like this forever, that the extra snuggling is something I will miss, and that her need for me is natural. But I still effing hate being awake and sitting awkwardly hunched over in that damn glider. I love Moo. These moments are not magical.

I LOVE being M’s mom. I would not trade it in for anything- including my former freer life pre-kids- but I am so much more than a mom. I enjoy things OUTSIDE of being a mom. I require and demand time alone. I love my daughter so damn much. I love spending time with her, teaching her, taking care of her. But I don’t love every moment of motherhood. No one does. And so often I think there’s an unrealistic pressure that parents should.

I don’t have a ah-ha moment, but I just wanted to share these thoughts because if you’re currently in the parenting trench of very tough stuff (teething, sleeplessness, infancy, day 5 of no shower), you’re not alone and you are 100% allowed to say to yourself (& other), “This sucks.” You can dislike it.

And that’s my up lifting Mom Minute for you today 😆 Sometimes it sucks and that’s normal.

(Thanks, Michelle)


Tune in next week when I talk about random exorcism-level vomiting and how to remain cool, calm, and collected when you’re covered in spoiled milk.

Thirty Years Old

Hello, again. Saturday is my 30th birthday. Tomorrow is my last day “in my twenties.” I don’t think I’ll wake up feeling any differently on Saturday, but it’s a strange transition nonetheless.

I loved my twenties. I went to India, graduated college, moved out of my parents’ house, adopted several puppers, married K, had my little Moo, bought and sold a few houses, traveled, found my (fingers crossed) forever job… It was a decade of discovery and growth and freedom. I squeezed a lot into those ten years. K was with me for all of it, too ❤️

I momentarily freaked out when I hit 25 but I have no qualms about 30. I truly have everything I want and I’m excited to live my life in that mindset. We’re comfortable, we’re in love, we’re happy. Is 2020 a weird sh*t show? For sure. But personally I’m entering my 30s with confidence.

As such, I thought I’d share 30 thoughts/tips/pieces of advice that I live by…

  1. Look up.
  2. People, animals, and experiences will make you rich. Things will not.
  3. Speak clearly and learn to communicate well. It will alleviate so much heartache.
  4. Spending money to get your dog(s) groomed is worth it.
  5. When you can help someone, help them. When you need help, ask for it.
  6. Pay attention to what and who bring you joy- then invest your time & energy there.
  7. Find your people and show up for them. Quality over quantity.
  8. Know how to calm your mind: pray, read, meditate, write. I prefer sitting in the dark.
  9. Clean your dishwasher & washing machines. I guarantee they’re gross.
  10. Same with fan blades.
  11. The miracle of aging is a gift. Accept your mortality & appreciate your longevity.
  12. “No” is a complete sentence.
  13. Eating chocolate before bed makes for some really weird dreams.
  14. You’re not for everyone. Everyone’s not for you. See #23.
  15. The most rewarding things are often the hardest things.
  16. You can do hard things.
  17. Less really is more.
  18. Order a side of gravy for dipping when you get fries at Dairy Queen. Trust me.
  19. Eat your veggies. And if you don’t like veggies, change how you cook them. They’re delish.
  20. Honesty is the best policy but sometimes silence is the best option.
  21. Respect your sig. other & give him or her the benefit of the doubt. They are on your side.
  22. Drink more water.
  23. It takes all kinds of kinds.
  24. Wild animals are meant to be wild.
  25. The grass is greener where you water it. (K says this a lot actually.)
  26. Adopt don’t shop.
  27. Always try to be kind. You don’t always need to be nice, though.
  28. Absolutely positively NOTHING is guaranteed. And no one owes you a damn thing.
  29. It’s not a good deal if you can’t afford it.
  30. Blowing out someone else’s candle doesn’t make yours brighter.

Just call me the Audi Lama. I kid, I kid. Sometimes (often) I fail to take my own advice, but over the past three decades these are the things I’ve learned bring me the most joy and serenity.

What am I doing for my birthday, you ask? Getting a professional manicure (FINALLY! I’ll be masked up, obvi), going on a family hike, and playing a board game at home. Coming into my 30s like a mad woman! 😉

What I Read…

Happy Book Day 📚 And happy sixth anniversary to Jana and Steph! Thank you both for hosting this awesome link-up month after month. Our community of readers wouldn’t exist without you two and I definitely wouldn’t have read some of the amazing books I have without you guys!

WordPress changed their layout and, as it turns out, I am not good at learning new things. Especially when I’m only blogging once or twice a month… Grrrr.

Enough whining. On to the books I’ve read.

The Bromance Book Club by Lyssa Kay Adams
★★★★★/5; Contemporary Romance
There was something cute and relatable about this story. I haven’t read many romances about married couples- especially married couples with children. While it was sweet and playful, there were also some deep moments when characters reflected on childhood trauma, loss of one’s identity, and unresolved anger or fear. Nothing was super depressing or uncomfortably deep, but I found the characters more relatable and likable because of their flaws, imperfections, and histories. The twins were adorable, the sister was frustrating but sisterly, and the groups of friends were such a solid support systems for both Gavin & Thea. I love that the book club addressed chivalry vs. chauvinism… your wife/girlfriend/partner isn’t helpless but she wants to feel wanted. It’s a fun concept- men reading romance novels. Lol. I’m sure some do, but I think most would be as uncomfortable as Gavin- at least at first.
Read It? Yep.


That’s it. That’s all she wrote. I’m in the middle of four books right now and I have some Moo reads to share, but I’m already running late with this post soooooo… I’m wrapping it up.

Go read some other reader blogs that have their act more together than me 😉

Q4 Goals

I’m so glad it’s October. One more quarter left in this weird year. And it’s the best quarter!

I wanted to share how I did with 3rd Quarter goals (spoiler alert: not awesome) and share my plan for the next three months. 

Q3 Goals

  • Finish Year 5 scrapbook
  • Read 3 books each month
  • Drink 2 glasses of water per day
  • Visit dermatologist for hands/skin
  • Start planning Halloween party & M’s first birthday! (I started a guest list at least…)
  • Get the pups groomed (I made appointments for October!)

I did very MEH on these goals. I definitely didn’t drink two glasses of water a day (I know, I know…) and I didn’t read three books a month. I scheduled the dog grooming so I’m counting that one as a win. Lol

Q4 Goals

I’m incorporating my 101 in 1001 list into my goals so I actively work on them…

  • Vote
  • Hike with Bristol
  • Hang HP Prints
  • Take 2 yoga classes
  • Start Year 6 scrapbook
  • Host Halloween Party
  • Throw M a 1st Birthday party!!
  • Make 2 cookbook recipes
  • Get the pups groomed
  • Read 3 books each month
  • Drink 2 glasses of water per day

That seems like a good start.

Per usual, many of these things are going to happen with or without making the list… but it’ll feel good to cross them off 😉 

What are your plans for the next few months?

 

Remembering Lylee

I wanted to write today because it’s an emotional one for us.

Today is one year since we lost Lylee.

Last year we were in the last stage of pregnancy. It was freshly fall. We were in the midst of a fun & busy travel season, squeezing in those last few trips before M would arrive. We were looking forward to a baby shower and my birthday and the holiday season. There was so much GOOD going on…

And then Lylee got an infection and passed away so suddenly it took months for us to wrap our heads around it.


Ly’s passing was the second major, Earth shattering, out-of-the-blue death in my life. And if you’re a “she was just a dog” kind of person then this post isn’t for you. But chances are you’re not because our friends and family and neighbors truly SHOWED UP for us this time last year.

I am so grateful for the community of love in which we belong. My parents, K’s parents, & my grandparents gathered together with us to say goodbye to and bury Lylee. My brother and sister-in-law drove four hours just to bring us a gorgeously framed photo of the bear and sit with us in our grief, remembering the joy Ly brought us. Friends and neighbors sent cards, flowers, and food to heal our souls. My best friends had a drawing of Lylee (& Enzo) commissioned and sent to us.

Remember the life Lylee lived and the love she brought out of others is the gift she left behind.

I’m also pretty sure she gifted us Bristol and laughs about it everyday, looking down on us and thinking, ‘See? I wasn’t so bad, was I?’ Lol.


Lylee would have adored Moo. I know Enzo still misses his sister. I think about her often. She was K’s dog through and through, and I know her death still deeply affects him. But Lylee came to us by chance and we were so damn lucky to spend those years with her. She was our first baby and I’m forever grateful that we got to love her.

So the moral of today’s post is simple. Hug and squeeze and kiss on the ones you love- fur and flesh. Sit in the sun and pet your cat’s warm fur, throw the ball a few extra times for your dog, give your mom a call.

And please adopt your next fur baby. Do it for Lylee ♥