1461+ Days of Anger

I am so tired of being angry. The body isn’t made for four years of anger and fear and frustration. I know I am not alone & I know it’s a privilege to just declare that I’m done being angry (I’m not). But dammit… my body and mind are so worn out. And the treasonous morons in the Capitol Building this week stirred up the waters that had since calmed in November.

I have noticed that I spend a lot of time policing my anger. I am gracious and polite to people who would not and do not extend the same courtesy to me. It sucks my energy and my patience, and by the time I get home to my family- the people who matter more to me than anyone or anything in the world- I have nothing left for them. I’m exhausted and short tempered and checked out.

Seems backward to me.

And so I just cannot and will not do it. They will see the judgement on my face when they say something terrible. My absence will be felt where I do not feel comfortable. My friend lists and following tab will diminish. And I don’t feel bad. Because my people get my good and gracious energy- not the world.

I am a dedicated subscriber to “If you can’t say something nice…” and “Kindness is always cool”, but I’m also a pretty big fan of “Take no sh*t.” And so I’m moving forward with a reservation and preservation for self. And I’m teaching M that in addition to telling men where to go when they suggest she “smile more”, she’s also under no obligation ever to stick around when she’s uncomfortable nor grin-and-bear-it when people are being especially cruel and hateful.

I’m tired of being nice.

Take It Easy, 2021

I learned a lesson last year. I mean, I knew I should be doing this… but I didn’t put it into practice. Instead, I dreamed about the day that I could put it into practice. And then the world shut down and I was forced to do it.

“It” being slow the eff down, prioritize what makes me happy and calm, and invest in the things I want to do- not the things I should do.

I want to be a minimalist at heart, but instead I’m an extravagantist in practice. The 2020 COVID crisis did not make me a minimalist… but it did make me focus on how I spend my time, how I fill my space, and how I react to my every day situations.

Honestly, this post is getting deeper and more psychological than I meant it to…

Long story short, I enjoy reading and watching and listening to things… but I’m terrible at prioritizing entertainment. I’d sooner change the laundry over, wash a few dishes, vacuum, turn on the TV… only to leave the room and scrub the kitchen floors.

And while a clean space does bring me joy, so does Netflix and chillin’.

So I’m going to *trick* my own brain this year. I’m going to make a TV/movie/podcast to do list. Because nothing motivates ya girl to get stuff done like a checklist.

But honestly- no pressure. I’m doing it for fun. If I don’t get to everything it’s likely because I’m busy feeding a one year old or scrubbing a very dirty bathroom.

Yin and yan. Balance is essential. Yada yada. You get it.

SO without further ado- because there’s been a lot of ado in this post already- here’s my…

2021 Entertainment List

Bridgerton

The Queen’s Gambit

The Crown

Muppets Now

30 Rock

High Seas (season 3)

(finish) Schitt’s Creek

(last season of) The Good Place

(finish) Once Upon A Time

Noble Blood podcast

You Must Remember This podcast

Enola Holmes

Holidate

Jingle Jangle

Klaus

Happiest Season

(finish) Hamilton

The Trial of the Chicago 7

Molly’s Game

Easy A

Booksmart

The Greatest Showman

Crazy Stupid Love

I think that’s all I’ve got for now. Where should I start? (After I finished Bridgerton, of course.) I don’t do true crime podcasts but I looooove historic ones!

What’re you watching this year?

Goodbye 2020!

I know we’re supposed to hate 2020, but if I’m being honest it was a relatively ok (dare I say good?) year for me… Compared to 2019, I would do 2020 again in a heartbeat. 2019 chewed us up and spit us out. Then stepped on us and lit us on fire.

I know that 2020 was an awful year for many many people, though. I don’t discredit that and if you’re someone who suffered terribly these past 12 months please know I’m thinking about you and praying for you. I, too, am looking forward to hopefully never having another year like that again.

But as I said, 2020 wasn’t the worst year I’ve had. We got to spend SO much time with Moo. We got to hog her for holidays and witness so many milestones. We had a forced slow down with work (through which we tried so hard to maintain and take care of employees) and we didn’t travel one single place after March. After years of professional go-go-going, it was weird. And it was eye opening. And it’s helped us to prioritize a little more going forward.

We are lucky that our family has been mostly healthy and safe. A few of us have had COVID, but we haven’t had any loss in our family and I am so grateful for this. My heart breaks for those who’ve had a year marked by death.

I still haven’t convinced K to get me a kitten. We bought a camper. We cancelled countless trips. We fought over whose mask was whose. We survived sleep regressions and teething. We had groceries delivered and quiet holidays. We had a slow year that I very ironically wished for at the end of 2019.

So here’s the normal pic recap…

New Years! | Finished nursery | Baby Moo | Fender Bender | Fly to TX | Moo at the Alamo | K drumming | Swiss relative visit | Pandemic yoga w/ best friends
Lots of family walks | Baby Moo | Easter | First taste of cereal | Green beans fail | Hike w/ Bristol | Anniversary pic | Kayla’s Matron of Honor! | Off to buy a new truck
Aub engaged! | Cousin graduates | Family cookout | First Moo swim | M actually likes food | K takes up cooking | Moo 6 months! | Lots of front porch time | K’s 1st Father’s Day
Bike trailer for M | Zoo | 4th of July | 1st camping trip | Bought a camper | Family front porch time | 1st time in our camper | Family fun | F&C buy a house
Purple hair | Fall | Kayla’s dress!| Social Distance get-together | Baby Cooper | Bday hike | Halloween | COVID | Corvette pics
Big girl! | Friday’s with AJ | Outdoor hangs | Thanksgiving | 12 month pics | Moo’s 1st Bday! | Xmas tree | Merry Christmas! | Christmas morning

It was a weird year, but looking back it seems we made the most of it. Here’s to 2021 being better than its predecessor. Honestly… it shouldn’t be tough.

Hopefully you find some bright spots when looking back on your year, too!

What I Read… 2020 Recap

I don’t have a lot to show for this year… Reading wasn’t a top priority this year & that’s ok. I averaged about 1 book per month- ending the year with 13 reads. I usually strive for three books a month so needless to say I did not meet my GR goals 😂

I’m linking up with Jana and Steph today for the Show Us Your Books yearend recap. I am so grateful for these ladies and this community of book lovers that they have built! It’s one of my favorite parts of my blog world.

**2020 Reading Stats**

Number of Books Read: 13
Number of Rereads: 0
Most Read Genre: Mystery

best-YA-books-2014

Best Book You Read In 2020?

A Heart So Fierce and Broken by Brigid Kemmerer

Book You Were Excited About & Thought You Were Going To Love But Didn’t?

Frogkisser by Garth Nix

 Most surprising (in a good way or bad way) book you read?  

The Seven and A Half Deaths of Evelyn Hardcastle by Stuart Turton

 Favorite new author you discovered in 2020?

Lucy Foley

 Most action-packed/thrilling/unputdownable book of the year?

The Guest List by Lucy Foley

Favorite cover of a book you read in 2020?

I just love the way this one looks… A little ominous, a little festive, a little haunting. Yet so simple.

Most memorable character of 2020?

Zikora (from Zikora by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie)

Shortest & Longest Book You Read In 2020?

75 pages (The Mermaids Melt at Dawn by Grendolyn Peach Soleil) and 505 pages (Hardcastle)

OTP OF THE YEAR (you will go down with this ship!)

Lia Mara & Grey from A Heart So Fierce and Broken.

Favorite Non-Romantic Relationship Of The Year

Emily’s (I *think* that’s her name) relationship with the girls from Gloss in The Unraveling of Cassidy Holmes by Elissa R. Sloan

Favorite Book You Read in 2020 From An Author You’ve Read Previously?

A Dangerous Engagement by Ashley Weaver

Newest fictional crush from a book you read in 2020?

Not new- still in love with Grey (A Heart So…)

27. Hidden Gem Of The Year?

The Marriage Bureau: The True Story of How Two Matchmakers Arranged Love in Wartime London by Penrose Halson

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One Book You Didn’t Get To In 2020 But Will Be Your Number 1 Priority in 2021?

Bringing Down the Duke by Evie Dunmore

Book You Are Most Anticipating For 2021 (non-debut)?

A Vow So Bold and Deadly by Brigid Kemmerer

One Thing You Hope To Accomplish Or Do In Your Reading/Blogging Life In 2021?

Hoping to read more than 13 books this coming year, lol.

Survey borrowed & altered from Jamie @ The Perpetual Page-Turner.

Now for my charts…

Not my best year for reading, but I also know it’s not my absolute worst.

What did you read this year?

Life According to Steph