I don’t want to write this but I use my blog to record moments in my life and this past week was definitely a moment. Albeit a real sh*tty one.

If you follow me on IG or we’re friends on Facebook, you know that our sweet sassy soft lovable Lylee Bear passed away on Saturday morning. I’ve had family & friends die and I’ve had pets die. I can truly say I’ve had nothing hurt like this. You can argue that she was “just a dog” but I’d suggest you make the argument elsewhere.

Our dogs are our babies. And even with a baby on the way, our dogs are our babies. We’re torn up and lost and sad. We took Ly in just 4 months before our wedding. She has been a part of every major life & marital decision we’ve ever made. She’s lived in all our houses. I’m not kidding when I say every single thing in our house reminds me of her and has some Lylee story connected to it. Living without her sucks.

We can’t stop saying, “I just want my damn dog back.” And it’s true.

Losing Lylee was the pinnacle of crap this week. We were on vacation when she took a turn for the worst. The last vacation before baby; one that was supposed to be relaxing. We cut it short (and would obviously choose that over and over again- I don’t regret it one bit) and spent a lot of money to get home.

I’ve also been in the hospital twice this week. I am absolutely fine. I’m just clumsy and I fell two times. I know- I need to be more careful. Trust me, I know.

As you can imagine, our bank accounts took a hit this week with all this drama. But I still wish we were worrying about how to pay for Lylee’s recovery care right now.

None of this matters. I’d go through it all again to get Lylee back but that’s not an option so right now we’re just drowning in misery and waiting to feel better.

I know that we will feel better. I know our energy and excitement will come back. Honestly- all you bloggers who have lost fur babies- I knew it hurt. I didn’t know it hurt like this.

I’ve been absent from Blogland for the last week. I’ll probably be absent most of this week (although I have a scheduled post for Thursday). I’ll get back into the swing of it some day, but right now I’m just sad.

To those that reached out on other platforms- thank you. Your words have meant so much to me and I appreciate all the love more than you know.